Has your ex moved on immediately? Started dating? Seems happy? Got into a new relationship even? Find yourself asking, why did my ex move on so fast? How could they, even? Well my friends, let’s get to the bottom of it all. Here’s what to think and do if your ex moved on quickly. So let’s start from the top.
Why Did My Ex Move On So Fast?
Before we look at what to think and do if your ex moved on quickly, let’s try to get your head around why they moved on so fast – or how they were even able to.
Because I know what you’re thinking…
Why don’t they miss me? How can they just carry on? Did I mean NOTHING to them?
Then there’s the turmoil of…
Surely this can’t be happening? This can’t be real or true? They must be testing me? Trying to get a reaction? They can’t possibly have genuinely moved on that fast…
The thing is, this is just your mind struggling to process it, and trying to fight it. You have to take a step back and:
1) See the situation for what it is.
2) See that this is the way it HAS to be.
I mean on the flip-side, let’s say your ex isn’t genuinely over you and them seemingly being over you is just them messing with your head or you getting it wrong…
Well then you have to ask the question:
“Could I even get back with them straight away, right now?!”
The answer is no. Because if you jump straight back into a relationship, you won’t have given it enough time to change (if that’s even possible) and you can’t think clearly right now to see if it’s even the right thing.
So the best thing you can do in this situation, is to work through the process of dealing with your ex moving on (whether it’s 100% the truth or not) to that you don’t “lose your mind” over it.
But Why Do Exes Move On So Fast?
If you’re struggling with acceptance as you don’t have the understanding as to why your ex has moved on so quickly, well, it could be down to a number of things…
Maybe the relationship was toxic and your ex stopped loving you before the relationship was over.
This means they were already going through the process of what you’re going through now and so have “come out the other side” seemingly faster, but they just started it earlier.
And I know – it doesn’t seem fair, especially if you feel blindsided.
But sometimes we start this process without even fully realising, or wanting to. So try not to hold too much hurt or anger over it.
Ultimately, the two of you weren’t working so this is all for the better now, either way.
What Else Could It Be?
Another reason why you ex may have been able to move on so quickly, is if the two of you had grown into more friends than lovers.
See, it doesn’t mean they don’t still love you or care about you. It just means they fell out of love with you, because the romantic spark and connection was no longer there.
Now that they’re single – they’re finding it with others again (which will often happen, early days.) But it’s no reflection on you.
So you certainly shouldn’t beat yourself up about it or scrutinise over it.
Things are just raw right now, that’s all. And that’s why you can’t be friends with your ex straight away. But in time, you’ll see that maybe their actions aren’t quite so unreasonable…
Is There A Chance That My Ex Hasn’t Fully Moved On?
Now these are just a couple of valid reasons why your ex may have moved on quickly. But – of course – we can’t rule out the possibility that they may not be over you after all.
See, one of the most common reasons why exes SEEMINGLY move on so fast however, is because they can’t stand being on their own or dealing with the effects of the breakup.
So in answer to our question, why do exes move on so fast? A very possible explanation could be – because they chose to try to escape the pain instead of facing it.
They’ve taken, what they think is, the easiest option. Yes, it’s typically the fastest way out. But it’s not the healthiest and it very rarely lasts long term.
I mean think about it – are they happy because they’ve found the right person or because they’ve escaped their past pain?
It is possible that it’s both but in most cases – it’s usually one or the other.
See if your ex moved on quickly, there’s a good chance they’ve not had the chance to fully heal. This means that yes – from an outsiders perspective, they’ve moved on.
But inside, there’s still some broken pieces. Broken pieces that will still need to be healed internally.
The Truth Of The Matter Is…
If your ex moved on quickly, for the wrong reasons (and not by luck or chance!), they probably won’t be fully healing right now. They’re just covering over the cracks.
This is why you so often find situations where an ex is pretending to be over you, when – in actual fact – they’re not at all. They’re still hurting, or in some cases, are actually pretty miserable after the breakup. They’re just hiding it.
This means that they’re likely to be in a rebound relationship, or are carrying their “baggage” from your past relationship into their new one.
Remember, no-one should be there to take away a feeling, or fix something within you that’s broken… You have to do that internal work yourself first to be in the right relationship for the right reasons.
So with this in mind… you can’t be envisions. Your ex isn’t in a better position than you for “apparently” moving on quickly.
In fact, if they’ve done it to escape the pain – and this is a partner – nothing will be better at all.
What To Think If Your Ex Moved On Quickly
With this in mind, doesn’t it shift the way you see things when it comes to why your ex moved on quickly? You start to think:
Hold up a minute… this is nothing to do with me, nor is it a reflection on me. And however my ex chooses to deal with the breakup, it doesn’t really matter anymore.
See, you can’t control how anyone else feels and responds. You’ll also very rarely know what’s going through a person’s mind, bubbling underneath the surface either anyway.
But as soon as you accept that, and feel okay with it, it starts to get easier.
You don’t need to have all the answers. All you need is to stop asking questions that aren’t helpful. As these will only hold you back.
- Why has my ex moved on so quickly?
- What does it mean?
- Don’t they care?
I know it’s hard to get your head around, but it honestly doesn’t matter. (And the more you tell yourself this, the sooner you’ll feel it.)
Your ex is in the past now and it’s all about looking forward to the future.
“My Ex Moved On Immediately”
Now we often get write ins saying things like “my ex moved on immediately.” And we get it. It is especially hard when your ex literally goes from you to someone else.
You start to think:
- Was there a cross-over?
- Were they cheating on me?
- When did they stop loving me and start thinking about other people?
So, what to do and think when your ex moves on immediately?
Well exactly the same as if your ex moved on quickly, because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been.
You just have to understand that that’s their way of going about it… And try not to obsess over the “what ifs.” Because the truth is – in many cases, you’ll never even know for sure anyway.
You can scrutinise, you can fixate on this, you can allow it to go around and around in your head…
Or you can refuse NOT to let it and to focus on YOUR journey and how YOU will move froward now instead.
To help you deal with this, I highly recommend following the same process of how to gain closure when you don’t understand why it ended.
Essentially you need to feel the pain, grieve the loss, but create your own closure by finding the most logical explanation and running with that in your mind, instead of saying stuck in “detective mode.”
You take control by determining your own explanation and story.
And this doesn’t mean you have to make up lies or live off things you don’t even know is true. Your “theory” will still be based on facts.
But it just means you have something more concrete to help you accept and let go.
What If My Ex Moved On Quickly… And It Works Out?
Now in all of this, you’re probably hoping that if your ex moved on quickly, it won’t work out with that new person. But in all honesty, sometimes it does.
This doesn’t mean that there won’t be more road bumps in that relationship than you’ll realise, BECAUSE of the fact they moved on a little too fast.
But it is also possible that your ex moved on quickly and genuinely moved on.
I mean, we offer a Heal From Heartbreak Coaching Programme’s so it is possible to work through it in a shorter space of time.
But most people don’t do what they need to. They try to rush the process so it’s not real.
Of course it is possible that your ex did manage to let go, move on and find love with someone new. This may have been faster than you can get your head around.
After all, “some of the best things happen when you least expect it…”
But providing your ex wasn’t actively looking for it, or trying to pursue something with someone new, it could very well be that they genuinely have moved on fast. (Lucky huh?!)
And yes, perhaps you’re a little envious of that. But it’s not about them anymore, it’s about you. And that’s what you need to focus on from here.
Also remember: if they can do it, so can you. If anyone can do anything, it means you can do it too.
So it’s all about outlook and choosing the way to see it – instead of taking things personally and feeling rejected and hurt.
What To Do If Your Ex Moved On Quickly
So: what to do if your ex moved on quickly? Well, accept it. That’s all you can do. Accept it. Let it go. And release any pain that comes with it.
And I know, like many things – it’s always easier said than done. But it’s ultimately what has to happen, and when you really commit to making it happen, it happens faster.
See you have to deal with it properly. You have to deal with the anger, hurt and sadness.
Don’t let it build into resentment, or put you on this toxic fight for revenge on your ex. It won’t help, it will only hinder your recovery.
And yes, it’s not easy. It takes time, work and strength.
You have to keep reminding yourself of the things you already know, be kind to yourself, and motivate yourself to keep pushing… to find your fight.
It’s a balancing act of feeling and pushing, feeling and pushing. You can’t be strong all the time, but you also don’t want to allow yourself to wallow. Really build that emotional stability my friends.
If Your Ex Moves On Quickly…
If your ex moves on quickly – don’t fear it. Don’t fear your ex moving on.
It’s going to happen. (At one point or another anyway!) And whether it happens quickly or slowly, it’s actually irrelevant. It makes no difference if you really think about it.
What matters is getting yourself back on track: ensuring you’re able to move on properly.
You don’t want to carry any baggage from this into your next relationships. You can also choose to heal in healthier ways, because that’s what enables you to heal fully.
Just because you’re not over your ex just yet – that’s okay.
Because you’re doing this the right way. And you’re on your own journey here… One that will be oh so worth it in the end.
So I hope this help. Take care and good luck!