How To Be Playful In a Relationship

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Want to know how to be playful in a relationship? How to have more fun and be playful with your partner? Then you’ve come to the right place. Let’s give your relationship a boost with this quick guide!

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. That means that, at no additional cost to you, I may make a commission if you click through and purchase. 

What Does It Mean When Someone Is Playful?

So before we look at how to be playful in a relationship, let’s first get clear on what it means when someone is playful. See, the definitions can vary slightly, but essentially –

When someone is being playful, it means they’re messing around with you and having a laugh / joke. They’re not being too serious. It’s lighthearted and fun!

If you’re being playful, you’re happy, full of energy, looking to amuse the other person – make them smile. That’s why it’s so important to be able to be playful in a relationship. It keeps things fun!

How To Be Playful in a Relationship

So what do you do? How can you be more playful in a relationship? Keep that playful energy there? Be playful with your partner? Make them smile more? Well, there’s a few core essentials.

1) Get Flirty

A great way to be playful in a relationship is to keep the flirting there.

You’re not just friends, you’re lovers too, and by flirting with your partner, you’re keeping that fire alive – even outside the bedroom!

So whenever you want to be playful, whatever it is that you’re doing, try to be a little cheeky with it! Whether that’s a flirty comment, a cheeky grin, some kind of innuendo, a touch. 

This in itself, helps to keep your relationship playful! Want to know how flirty you are?

Click here to take the quiz and find out!

2) Have Fun

Next up, the second thing that makes it easier to be playful in a relationship, is when you’re doing fun things with your partner – doing things that easily bring out your fun, playful side. 

Any games or activities are therefore pretty good for this. They make it easier, create a base in which you can build on your playfulness.

See, just doing an activity doesn’t automatically make you playful, but it creates easy opportunities to be more so. So, whatever activity you’re doing ask yourself:

  • What little jokes can I add in here?
  • How can I make this fun?
  • What can I do to add a bit more excitement?

[Recommended Read: How To Keep Your Relationship Fun & Exciting – 10 Key Steps]

3) Have Banter

Now for anyone who’s not familiar with the term, banter is:

“The playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.”

Banter therefore works hand in hand with being playful. It’s light, fun, flirty (especially when you focus on flirty banter!) and keeps the relationship light.

[Recommended Read: The Art of Teasing – How To Do It Properly!]

If you can laugh and joke like best friends, whilst still being lovers, you’re onto a good thing!

4) Be Yourself

So what else are the key components when it comes to how to be playful in a relationship? Well, this one is nice and simple… it is in fact, to BE YOURSELF…

The “you” that you are when no-one’s watching. The one that dances around the kitchen, using her broom as a microphone. Be that YOU! The you that doesn’t care. The you that just wants to have a good time.

See, if you want to be playful in your relationship – show your fun, carefree side to your partner! This leads me onto my next point, the final essential ingredient…

5) Let Your Guard Down

Last but not least, let your guard down. Spend less time caring how you look and more time building on what you have. Remember: your partner loves you for you.

He doesn’t care if you do something daft or silly, or if you look a little unattractive doing it!

In his eyes, it’s most likely going to make you more attractive when you’re able to laugh at yourself and have fun with him!

So be comfortable. Try not to be so self-conscious. Because when you’re not, it makes being playful an absolute piece of cake!

How To Be Playful With Your Partner

How To Be Playful With Your Partner

Here’s some ideas now, for how to be playful with your partner. These are some quick-fire suggestions for things you can do that will bring out your playful side:

  • Have a pillow fight!
  • Have a home games night. Start with Never Have I Ever (The Couples version!) – that’s always pretty playful as it is!
  • Go out and challenge your partner to an activity.
  • Leave little love notes. Here, try one of these: 100 Cute Notes To Leave Your Boyfriend (Warning, some of these are very punny!)
  • Have a “yes” day where you have to say “yes” to everything your partner says! (You can then swap it around the following weekend. That’s right, it’s only fair!)
  • Get experimental in the bedroom! New outfits, new “toys”, new positions even. Go wild!
  • Feed each other… blindfolded (we’re talking chocolate strawberries, ice cream, that kind of thing!)
  • Have a “no power” date night, where all technology goes “out the window” (not literally!) and it’s just about the two of you! Ask funny relationship questions, play silly games and have a laugh with each other again!
  • Cook a meal together – or do a cook-off / two person “Come Dine With Me” competition.
  • Have a pyjama party, with movies, nibbles and even a little DIY den!
  • Have a pamper night – share a bath, give each other massages, pop on some face masks!

Ways To Be Playful In Your Relationship

  • Talk dirty to each other. Go on, I dare you. See how much you can turn each other on, simply with spoken words! (There will most likely be a few laughs here too!) Alternative: Surprise each other with flirty photos or texts – only doing what you’re comfortable with, of course.
  • Teach your partner something they don’t know how to do (and vice versa) Makeup tutorial? Dance routine? Why on earth not?! Make it fun and jokey.
  • Buy fun / jokey matching t-shirts. Here, have a look at our top 10 favourites!
  • Have a staring competition. Or a “whoever makes the other person smile first, wins” competition!
  • Recreate moments (by acting them out – no words allowed) and have your partner guess it. Then swap! It’s like a trip-down-memory-lane version of charades!
  • Take it in turns to surprise each other with date nights designed for them.
  • Set each other fun challenges, with little “rewards” as prizes. See who can get the most points!
  • Have a “Kidult Night”, bringing out that inner child!
  • Make YouTube videos together – at home, on travels, out and about. (These are great to look back on too!)
  • Have a home photoshoot together. Get props, get outfits, make it a seasonal thing even.
  • Create different matching bios together (or have a comp to see who can come up with the best one!)
  • Stay up late one night, talking mindlessly about anything and everything!

It’s All About Balance

Remember, you don’t need to be playful 24-7. For starters, that would be exhausting – not only for you but for your partner too! 

You also need to have different dimensions to your relationship, so fun and playful is great, but you want to be able to connect with your partner on a deeper level too.

But that’s what it’s all about – recognising and working on your relationship – not when it becomes bad, but regularly, to make it even better! 

[Click here to read: Why The Best Relationships Take Work]

So there we have it. Your starting place for how to be playful in a relationship and more playful with your partner. Read it, implement it, and just watch the difference it makes!

Good luck. Enjoy.


How To Be Playful In a Relationship
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Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, with over 3 million annual readers, globally. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.