It’s important to become happy in your own company, to be able to enjoy alone time and feel comfortable doing your own thing. You need it both when you’re single and when you’re in a relationship. But how do you make the best of it, embrace it, learn to love it even?!
In this post, I’m going to run through 15 quick-fire ways for how to enjoy alone time. By the end of it, you’ll have all those guys singing “Miss Independent” to you. In fact, let’s cue the song to get these vibes going…. Click here and listen to those lyrics girl, because this is soon going to be YOU! 😉
15 Ways For How To Enjoy Alone Time…
It’s time to become happier just doing your own thing! Here’s how to enjoy alone time..
1. Ease Into It
If you’re not used to being on your own, it may be a bit of a shock to your system! For example, if you’ve recently moved out of your family home and have gone to being around EVERYONE, to then suddenly just being by you, yourself and I!
Know that it’s normal to need a period of adjustment. It may feel a bit strange at first and it might not be how you envisioned it. But with this for example – you could break it up by still spending a couple of evenings a week back at home, or having your friends over a couple of nights, keeping yourself as busy as you can so there’s less time spent solo in your new apartment… Until gradually you find it easier.
Eventually you will LOVE that alone time, but it’s okay if you’re not there straight away.
The same can be said if you went from living with a partner to living on your own – do the same thing. Or if you’re still in a relationship but finding your partner is out more as you build interdependence in your relationship, you can still find ways to keep busy until you’re happy completely in your own company. There’s nothing wrong with that, okay?
2. Try Not To Be Tied To Your Phone
You’re trying to EMBRACE alone time, so if you find yourself glued to your phone, aimlessly chatting to anyone and everyone – you’re kind of just avoiding it.
Some time is fine – but not all the time. And sometimes social media can only make you feel more isolated than before as you see everyone’s “picture perfect” lives so try to steer clear of it to begin with.
If you are feeling lonely and you do want to reach out to someone, try a phone call instead. Hearing someone’s voice will be far more comforting and you can always switch loudspeaker on so you can do your nails or something at the same time!
3. Get Out & Go Somewhere
No-one said that alone time had to be spent pent up indoors! Take your book to the local park, head for a walk in a nearby nature reserve, visit a national trust, venture somewhere you’ve never been before! Why on earth not?!
It makes it a little easier, because even though you’re still on your own – you will be surrounded by other people, so it just breaks things up for you a little bit. A change of scenery also does you the world of good.
Just don’t be self-conscious okay? Notice other people who are doing the same as you instead of focusing on those who are all coupled up or with friends and family. No-ones looking at you and thinking anything, trust me. It’s all in your head!
4. Go Out & Do Something
Similarly, why not go out and do something? Go to the gym, go for a swim, have a little shopping spree, head to the cinema, take yourself on a goddam date!
Honestly, if you’ve never done it before, it may be unfamiliar territory. But start with what you know, then branch out to do more and more. Embrace this independence. Because I promise you, the more you push yourself, the more empowering it will feel.
5. Pump Yourself Up With That Positive Self Talk
If you want to know how to enjoy alone time, you need to understand that the attitude you have going into it, is going to be a huge deciding factor.
If you tell yourself how rubbish it is, and how alone you are, or how much you miss your partner, or how much you wish you had a partner, then yes – it is going to be sh*t, putting it bluntly.
But if you choose to embrace it, really work on enjoying it, tell yourself how well you’re doing, tell yourself how much this is benefiting you – it’s going to shift your perspective.
Mindset matters. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at, change.”
6. Take Time For The Things That You Enjoy
Embrace your alone time, by using it as a chance to do the things that you want to do, the things that make you feel good. Make time for an old hobby, start a new hobby, do some volunteering, give a new project a good go!
Now’s the perfect opportunity to spend time for YOU. Be driven by the things you’re passionate about, the things you care about, the things that mean something to you.
You don’t have to compromise or try to please anyone. You can actually just put yourself first and prioritise the things that you want to do. So don’t waste it!
7. Do The Things You Know You Need To Get Done
Those household chores, the jobs you’ve been putting off, the tasks you never seem to find time for… do them now, when you’re on your own and have no distractions.
You’ll feel far better for it and get a great sense of accomplishment, even with the small things. Trust me, it sounds silly, but there’s few greater feelings than sitting down at the end of the night, in a nice tidy flat, knowing you’ve had a good productive day!
8. Do The Things That Are Going To Make You Grow
Use this time wisely. Choose to allocate at least a small amount, doing things that support you. Read a self-improvement book, tick off some tasks from this self-improvement bucket list, try this self-improvement challenge, swot up on an area that you know you need to work on, look at other areas in which you can improve.
Being on your own does help to give you time to think and reflect. So if there’s things you really want to improve on, ways in which you want to change – use this time to do it. No excuses!
So let’s say you’re still hurting from a breakup, and you know there’s things you haven’t addressed – now’s a better time than any! Or if you find you have insecurities that are damaging your relationship, use this time when you’re on your own to work through them. It will change your life, honestly.
9. Understand That This Is Going To Make You Appreciate Your Relationships Even More
When you’re living in someone else’s pocket, it’s easy to take them for granted – to not even realise what you have and therefore not always treat that person how you should. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this alone time is going to strengthen your relationships.
It will give you time to think, reflect, remember and – most importantly – appreciate, whilst still giving you both the space to grow, but grow together. Because aside from this, it will also give you a greater appreciation for yourself and what you’re capable of.
As you grow in independence it will shift the dynamics of your relationship, from feeling like you NEED this person, to knowing that you’re strong enough to stand on your own two feet, and instead you’re choosing to be / be around them because you WANT them and LOVE them. It’s a real, positive attitude shift, if you let it be.
Don’t be so afraid of losing a person that you end up smothering them. Know that it’s healthy to have time apart, and it will only bring you closer together ultimately.
10. Tune Into Yourself
I spoke earlier about trying not to be glued to your phone, but when you’ve started to learn how to enjoy alone time, I challenge you to go one step further… to make that digital detox more of a habit and routine. Not only will it help you more to switch off, but it will really develop you as a person.
So often we’re bombarded with constant texts, comments and messages. But you can start to crave it, feel like you need it as a form of validation. When you’re on your own, away from anyone else (virtually too), you no longer have this. It forces you to become comfortable on your own, to listen to the way you think & feel and get to know yourself far better. This leads me onto my next suggestion…
11. Get In Touch With Your Emotions Again
Our lives are so busy. Sometimes we purposely make them busy – to avoid confronting the things we don’t want to. When we’re surrounded by other people all the time, we’re also constantly trying to read, and cater to, the other persons’s emotions. So much so, that you can end up losing touch with your own. This is why alone time is important. It gives us time to think, reflect and SLOW DOWN a little.
When you’re on your own, allow yourself to work through anything you need to. To feel your emotions without having to be conscious of anyone else around you, or what anyone may think if they saw you. There’s no judgements here. You can fully let your guard go and make sure nothing’s bottled up.
This will give you a greater perspective on how you feel, and a better understanding of what makes you happy, what upsets you, and how you feel about different situations. With that knowledge, it’s then easier to regulate your emotions on a daily basis and, better deal with anything that comes your way.
Write a diary, start journalling, get everything out. It will make you feel like a weight has been lifted and put YOU back in control of the way you feel.
12. Make Plans & Get Excited For Them
So let’s say you’ve not quite adjusted to alone time yet and are perhaps feeling a little bit lost. Do you mope around? No way! Instead, I suggest you GET PLANNING!
Figure out what you want to fill your life with, map out the experiences you want to have, find different things to do and pull it all into a master wish-list that you can then work through. If you’re feeling down about being on your own, don’t wallow. Instead, shift your perspective so that you can feel excited again! It will definitely take your mind off being on your own.
Baby steps okay? Just keep doing all these things that will help you.
13. Do A Little Indulging
One of my FAVOURITE things about living on my own, is being able to wear what I want, do what I want and most importantly – eat what I want! So if you’re in the same shoes – allow yourself to indulge a little.
Wake up when YOU want to, lounge in your scruffies on the odd day, buy in your favourite food, eat too much of your favourite food (and don’t feel bad about it!) I’m not saying do this every day (we don’t want to let ourselves go hey!) but you may as well do it on occasions to fully make the most of your freedom.
Similarly if you’re in a relationship but find yourself with the house to yourself over the weekend… don’t feel sorry for yourself! Get excited for it! Blast your music whilst singing in the bath, have that pamper night, binge watch your favourite reality tv series that always gets scoffed at, eat those chocolates without having to share!
It’s good to have a little fun with it sometimes. It doesn’t have to be all serious stuff!
14. Create Some Positive Routines
To help you adjust to your newfound freedom, work on creating some positive routines for things you do when you’re by yourself. Like that Evening Self Care Routine, or Daily Self Care plan. Perhaps you’ll start with some morning meditation, an evening walk along the river, or some form of Daily Exercise to support your mental wellbeing.
It’s all about finding and developing habits that will support you – no matter how big or small. These habits will help to make alone time more normal.
15. Don’t Let Discomfort Deter You
Last but not least, I want to remind you that whatever makes you uncomfortable, is your biggest opportunity for growth. So do not let discomfort deter you.
When you’re alone with just yourself and your thoughts – things can get pretty real. There will be times when you feel very confronted. You might feel weak, torn, lonely, confused. But this is just part of your journey of self-discovery, one of the many new lessons you’ll learn. It’s contributing to your growth.
Reach out to others when you need. Then get back to that time by yourself to finish off the process of learning.
Remember why this is important. Remember who you want to be. And watch yourself – slowly but surely – becoming that person.
Embrace Your Alone Time…
Remember, there’s a difference between being on your own and being lonely. If you want to learn how to enjoy alone time – jump into it with everything you’ve got! Adopt these outlooks, try these different things and start to bloom into that strong, independent woman you know that you can be!
Enjoy your own company. Find happiness from within. You shouldn’t ever need anyone else to make you feel the way you want to feel. It’s all in your own hands…
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