So you’re working hard to try to stop texting your ex. But how do you get your ex to stop texting you? What do you do if you’ve asked them to, but they don’t seem to respect it or listen? In this post, we’ll break down exactly how to get your ex to stop texting you – in a way that you’re comfortable with.
Why You Need Your Ex To Stop Texting You
So before we get into the “how” part, let’s look at why you need your ex to stop texting you.
After all, the chances are – as much as it may mess with your head at times – it can feel pretty nice, pretty comforting, to hear off your ex and have them reach out…
Whether they’re doing it because they miss you and are trying to win you back, or for more “practical” reasons, hearing from your ex is what you know, which is why there is a degree of comfort that comes with it.
As a result, you may find yourself making excuses for why it’s “no big deal.” But remember, every time your ex texts you, it only makes things more difficult.
When Your Ex Texts:
- It’s reopening old wounds and making it harder to move forward emotionally. You’re reminded of them, the breakup, everything that happened and how different things are now.
- It’s sustaining the cycle of dependency and uncertainty which can prevent you from finding closure, letting go and truly moving on.
- It can give you false hope. You might expect a certain response or outcome, but your ex may not feel the same way, leading to disappointment and further emotional turmoil.
- Likewise, it can lead to disappointments or arguments, that could further damage your emotional state. Not all texts from your ex are likely to be what you want, you see!
- Even when your ex doesn’t text – if they still do text, every now and then, it keeps you holding on. You fall into the trap of waiting or hoping for their next text. So it’s a pretty toxic cycle.
This is one of the reasons why you need the no contact rule after a breakup. If you don’t believe me, I highly recommend you jump through to this article on it now –
Why Your Ex Doesn’t Listen When You Ask Them To Stop Texting You
Now, it should be pretty simple to get your ex to stop texting you, right? You should be able to simply ask them to stop it and hope that they will.
But often, this doesn’t tend to happen. Why? Well because….
- Let’s be honest, it’s pretty hard to stop texting your ex. They’re still human and they can fall into the trap of doing it again – even if they don’t want to. It’s one of the signs your ex is hurting after the breakup struggling to readjust or detach. They’re not necessarily trying to disrespect your boundaries. They’re just finding it tough. On the flip side…
- Maybe they don’t want you to move on. They’re still clinging on, struggling to get over you and they may not want to stop texting, because they want to try to win you back.
- They may think you don’t mean it when you tell them to stop texting you. They might think it’s just your way of coping, or that you’re testing them (secretly wanting them to step up and text), so they could think they’re doing the right thing and just don’t trust your words.
- They could be continuing to text as they don’t feel they have closure after the breakup, so they’re trying to get the answers from you for it. They’re purposely not listening because they’re just trying to get what they feel like they need.
- Some ex’s continue to text for control or manipulation.
- And of course there may be a lack of empathy, care or respect there.
Every situation is different. But regardless of the reason – you have to stand by what’s best for you, and what – actually – will be best for them too… Which is for the two of you to stop texting, or (if you don’t respond) for them to stop being able to text you.
How To Get Your Ex To Stop Texting You
So how do you get your ex to stop texting you? You understand that it’s important, and perhaps you’ve asked them to stop texting you before. Then what do you do?
Well, my friends, it’s quite simple. Is it always as easy as it sounds? Of course not. But breakups are very rarely ever easy, right? And so as difficult as this is, it’s unfortunately just what you have to push through.
Remember – anything that challenges you, only makes you grow. So try to keep that in your mind too.
Here’s how to get your ex to stop texting you…
1) Explain Why You Need This, Instead of Just Saying It
Now I know what you’re thinking, “But I already did this before!”, well try again my friends.
Only this time, be firmer, be direct and communicate clearly.
You don’t owe your ex any explanation, but the chances are, if you find yourself here and didn’t just immediately block your ex, there’s still a bit of love and care left which is why you’re finding it so difficult to do.
So tell them:
- Exactly what you want. If you still have to be in contact due to ties like children, get crystal clear on your boundaries and what communication is and isn’t okay moving forward. If they keep reaching out with “excuses” like to collect their things, give them an alternative way to do this. (E.G. You can organise this through my parents.)
- Why you need it. A little empathy from your side can really help. Acknowledge the fact that you understand that it’s difficult, but then lead into why it’s important, not just for you but for the both of you. Don’t do it in a way that gives them false hope, but just shows them that you get it, you’re not doing this to be cruel but actually to be kind.
2) If They Still Continue To Text – Block Their Number
If your ex ignores your request and continues to text you, block them to prevent further contact. Block their number, block them on WhatsApp, and block them on social media too.
This isn’t you being harsh, unfair or unreasonable. It’s about you taking control.
Blocking your ex is often a recommended breakup recovery strategy anyway. It helps you feel better after a breakup, even if they’re not continuing to message, so never feel embarrassed to do it.
If they continued to find ways to reach out from there, consider taking screenshots as a record, especially if you’re starting to feel uncomfortable or unsafe by it.
That’s Really All There Is To It
In terms of what you need to do in order to get your ex to stop texting you – it’s simple.
One of the biggest barriers is more so around wanting to or feeling able to, but that’s where professional breakup support can come in…
Remember, you’re not alone in any of this.
Breakups can feel painfully lonely, and excruciatingly difficult. That’s because of the deep attachment you will have and the huge life change they bring.
It’s natural and normal to find steps like this tough.
But you can do it, you have to do it, and when you do – slowly but surely – things will start to become easier.
That’s all for this one now. I hope this has helped.
Feel free to comment below if you have any specific questions or dilemmas.
Love,
Ell_xx
