How To Make Him Miss You

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Want to know how to make a guy miss you? How to make him want you back? Realise what he had? What he’s now missing? Well there’s no magic formula, unfortunately, but – the good news is – there are things you can do to encourage it along the way. So here’s how to make him miss you…

How To Make a Guy Miss You

So before we look at how to make a guy miss you, I want to set a few things straight, okay?

1) You Can’t Let This Take Over

You can like a guy, you can miss a guy, you can hope he comes back to you (even if you don’t always admit it!) But you cannot let this consume you. 

Do what you can, for sure. Know that you gave it your best shot (and as part of that – as you’ll soon see – many of these strategies to make him miss you revolve actually around you, not him!) So do all of that, that’s fine. It will give you peace of mind.

But don’t go to extremes with it. Don’t push too hard, try for too long, and lose yourself over it. Because you also have to realise, this isn’t something that can be forced.

2) There’s No Guarantee On This

If he’s going to end up missing you, he will miss you. The purpose of this article is to not only ENCOURAGE that to happen – by doing all of the right things – but LET it happen, without doing the things that push him away.

That’s all you can actually do. You can’t force him to miss you. Just like really, you can’t force a guy to want you.

You can only do all the right things to make it more likely to happen. But people will always have their own minds, their own feelings and so there are always elements out of your control. 

At the end of it all, only the right people will appreciate you. And then amongst them, only the people who are in the right place, will actually continue to pursue you. Read that again.

So it’s not always about you, but about them.

3) You Have To Be Ok If It Doesn’t Work

If you try all this, you try to make him miss you and he still doesn’t come running back, then yes, it’s going to hurt. You’re going to feel rejected, it’s good to feel that pain so that you can properly process it.

But you can’t let it knock you – not too hard or for too long. This isn’t anything personal. This isn’t a reflection on you, as much as – I know – it feels like it is.

At the end of the day, you are who you are… and you’re FRICKIN’ AMAZING! Honestly. You’ve got to believe that. So if some guy doesn’t see that or appreciate it, he’s not right for you anyway!

If he lets you go and doesn’t look back, you have to let him carry on walking…

How To Make Him Miss You

So now we’ve got that out the way, let’s look at what you can do to make him miss you. Some of the key “strategies”, if you like.

1) Keep Doing Your Own Thing

This goes back to how to make him want you, how to keep him interested, how to play it cool and unsurprisingly, it also comes into how to make him miss you.

See as great as you think this guy is, as much as you like him, as much as you want to be around him – you have to still keep doing your own thing and having your own life.

If you want him to miss you, you need to give him the space to realise that he misses you. You can’t keep being in his world in the same way. There needs to be that distance to make him want you back.

In the meantime, are you going to sit around – just moping, waiting and hoping? Girl, don’t even think about it! No. You’re not. You are so much better than that.

So smash your work, get (even more) into your work-outs, go out and have fun with your friends!

It’s actually going to be far more attractive to him if he can see that you’re getting on, keeping busy, being the strong, independent woman that you are.

It shows that you know your worth. It makes him re-think and realise that you don’t need him, you just want him. And that’s not something that should be taken for granted.

2) Don’t Beg Or Plead

One of the biggest rules when it comes to making him miss you, is not just giving him the time and space – but never begging or pleading. No, no, no.

“I used to think there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back. Eventual happiness. But as I sit here, with stones in my chest where the hope used to lie, I realise that there’s nothing beautiful about having to continuously convince someone to love you… Either they do you, or they don’t. Never try to convince someone of your worth. If a person doesn’t appreciate you, they don’t deserve you. Respect yourself and be with people who truly value you.”

Express how you feel. Put yourself out there from now and then. That’s a good thing, a brave thing, something that people aren’t prepared to do enough… Because this isn’t about caring how you look. It’s about caring how people feel.

And you should NEVER have to try to convince someone to be in your life. Never. They should see your value and they should know. Sometimes they will have to lose you to realise how much they love you – and that’s when the “missing” part comes into it.

But don’t beg or plead. Talk. Discuss. Share. But have a limit. And know that you need that limit because if you push over it, it’s not going to change the outcome anyway. You’re just preserving your sense of self-worth.

How To Make Him Miss You

3) Text, But Not Too Much

If you want to make him miss you, like we said, you don’t always want to be there. So first off – if you find you’re constantly the first one texting or the only one making an effort now, that’s a sign that you should maybe reconsider if this is even worth “pursuing”.

But ideally, you want a few texts coming from him, you also want to send a few of your own… but don’t keep replying straight away. Don’t be so readily available. It goes back to focusing on you a little more and doing your own thing.

If your behaviour changes, if you pull back enough for him to notice, but not too much to create distance between the two of you – it will make him more likely to miss you. So it’s all about getting that balance.

4) Don’t Be So Readily Available

So you miss the guy, you’ve been waiting to see him, you really want to see him – but everything feels like it’s on his terms.

To balance out the dynamics, you have to make sure you’re not just readily available. You can’t drop everything and jump to say “yes” to anything he suggests even if it’s awkward or inconvenient for you.

It’s not going to make things better, it’s just going to show him he can do what he wants and treat you how he wants… and you’ll still be there.

So stand your ground. Play a little “hard to get” in that sense. Don’t be purposely awkward or difficult. You want to be busy, not completely off limits.

Just don’t push things too much from your side, if you’re not getting the same back. It will certainly make him re-think (if he’s going to re-think at all that is!)

5) Go A Little While Without Seeing Him

Following along from the point about not being so readily available, you also want to make sure that if you want him to miss you, you need to give him enough time to miss you.

Again, just like everything – it’s about balance. Don’t push this too far and push him away. We’re talking more days and weeks between seeing each other instead of the weeks into months.

But as much as you may want to meet up, see him, “fix things”, get everything back on track – that “space” we keep talking about, also means physical space.

So alongside the reduction in text messages, you want to call less, and to wait a little while without seeing him. Especially if he’s not brought up meeting and would usually expect you to. This is going to be crucial for my next point…

6) Show Him The Areas You’ve Changed

This may not always apply, but let’s say you want to know how to make him miss you because you’ve recently gone through a breakup or stopped “seeing” the guy you liked.

Let’s say, there were certain reasons for that – and some of those reasons stemmed from you. Perhaps you were trying to move things along too quickly, maybe you let your insecurities run riot and started behaving in ways that weren’t right… or weren’t you.

Whatever it is, work on these areas. Really work on them. Not for him, but for you.

Think about how you would have behaved if you were still acting the way you was before. And think about how this “new you” would (and will) behave… then surprise him by acting that way.

Don’t just talk about change, show him the change.

And this is why you need the space and time without seeing each other to add more strength to this. You need to have had enough time to have genuinely made these changes in yourself and be able to show that they are both significant, and lasting.

You don’t need to be perfect, progress is the most important thing. But it does need to be real and true.

How To Make Him Miss You

7) Remind Him Of What He Loves About You

When you do then see him, be the best version of yourself that you can be… and vouch to stay that way, as much as you can. (That should be a continuous goal, again for you more than him!)

See if you want to make him miss you, it shouldn’t actually be that hard because – fundamentally – all the right things are there.

So no matter how down you feel because of the situation you’re currently in, don’t let that get to you. Don’t dwell on it. Stay upbeat, stay positive and remind him just how wonderful you are!

8) Remind Him Of How Good You Look

The more comfortable you are around a person, the easier it is to take less care about how you look… Which is good. This is what we want! It’s a sign of a good relationship.

However, those couple-of-days where you miss that shower, simply scrunching your hair on the top of your head because you “don’t smell yet anyway!” isn’t going to impress… not when you’re not in a great place and are trying to show him what he’s missing!

So when it comes to reminding him what he loves about you, don’t be afraid to get a little dressed up and look your best… like you did in the early days. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

It’s just the same as him putting on his best aftershave and that cute outfit you know he loves!

If you want to make him miss you, remind him of how good the two of you are in terms of the CHEMISTRY that you have! And what better way to reignite the spark than blowing him away with how beautiful you are?!

Become irresistible 😉 It will not only get him looking… but others too, again reminding him of your desirability! You’re a catch, and the better you look, the better you feel, which is always going to help – in any situation.

9) Be Fun, And Happy

I know it’s hard when you miss someone. It’s likely to affect your mood. As is the uncertainty it creates… [Shudder] It’s enough to throw anyone off!

But if you want to know how to make him miss you, then the key lies in how you behave.

  • When you text, avoid moaning, pushing or nagging.
  • Similarly when you see each other – don’t focus on the end outcome you want, focus on having a good time with the person, right there and then.

Don’t let your worries or doubts take over. And I know it’s easier said than done. But I promise you, if you adopt the attitude of:

If it’s meant to work out, it will work out. In the meantime, I’m just going to be the best that I can be, make this the nicest that this can be and trust that this is going to pan out how it’s supposed to…

If you can do that, it’s seriously going to work in your favour. I mean, just generally speaking – if you’re happy and loving life, it makes people want to be part of that – and miss you when you’re not around.

So regardless of what’s happened and why you’re now in a position of wanting him to miss you, you need to get back to that… or focus on that so that you’re being as good to be around as you can.

Like we said above, you’re reminding him how great you are, you’re reminding him how great the two of you are together.

And if he doesn’t “play ball”. If you’re trying with him, trying to keep it light and fun, trying to make sure you’re nice company and there’s just no effort back – then it should no longer be about wanting him to miss you, but instead questioning… is this just sucking the life out of me?!

10) Encourage Him To Have His Freedom

We’ve spoke a lot in this article about being your own person, doing your own thing, but when it comes to how to make him miss you – him doing the same, the other way around, is just as important.

If he feels trapped, he’s going to want to escape. If he feels free, he’ll keep coming back to you.

Relationships are about balance. The ones that are most likely to crash and burn are the ones with high intensity, right from the start. And if you smother him, if you don’t give him space or freedom in the relationship, it makes it toxic, unhealthy.

So let him have time out with his friends! I mean, initially, if he’s not used to it – not only may it take some readjusting for you – but he may take advantage of it too. Don’t stress out. Don’t panic. Because he’ll get it out of his system.

If he loves spending time with you, he’ll start to crave that time with you even more. And yes, you’ll both still go out and do your separate things (like you should), and yes, he’ll enjoy it – but he’ll also start to miss you, and start to look forward to getting back to you.

And maybe that’s where you’re at now… maybe that’s not something you – or he – have had. So this breather, this freedom (and we’re not talking about so much freedom that you betray one another’s trust), it can be good for you… it can bring him back to you.

What To Do When You Miss Someone

So there’s the quick low-down of how to make him miss you, but is there anything you should avoid doing when you miss someone? Well yes. As a “tick-list” if you like, I’d say:

Tip 1:

Don’t spam your social media in an attempt to make him jealous or try to prove something. In fact, the less you post – the better.

It will leave him wondering, get him thinking, make him miss you more as it flips his brain into overdrive (if he cares of course!) So scrap the oversharing on social media.

Tip 2:

Whilst we’re talking about social media, you also want to make sure you don’t lash out on there when you miss someone.

The posts that have little “digs” in, the sharing of quotes that are – so clearly – about him. It won’t do any good.

In fact, if anything it just looks childish, shows him just how much this has got to you, and it will push him away – not draw him back. So avoid, avoid, avoid!

Tip 3:

Don’t make things too sexual. Never feel like you need to use your body to get a guy to come running back. You want him to miss you, not the things he liked to do with you.

And you, as yourself, are enough. So never try to make a guy to come back to you with something like that. It won’t last, and it won’t do your sense of self-worth any good.

Tip 4:

Don’t be a pushover. In your attempts to make him want you, to make him miss you, make sure you’re not compromising on the things you want and the way you’re being treated… or allowing yourself to be treated. Know your worth girl, know your worth.

Tip 5:

Be a little unpredictable! Add excitement back into your relationship with this person. Maybe right now, he knows exactly what to expect. You both do… The good and the bad.

But men can tend to lose interest if they already know everything about you. They think they already conquered you and you do not excite them anymore.

Ultimately, they’re wired to love elements of the chase. But the good news is – no matter how long you’ve been together, you can still be unpredictable, you can still spice things up and keep it interesting! And this, my friends, will only help to draw him back to you!

Every Situation Is Different

If you want to know how to make him miss you, you could be doing it for the right reasons – to reignite a spark in your relationship for example – or the wrong ones – like when you try to cling onto something that’s gone… or would be better off left there.

But I hope this gives you a better idea of what to do when you miss someone. Or what you can do. If you’re still feeling unsure, or if you’re feeling like you’re trying to make him miss you but it’s just not working, you don’t feel good enough… then reach out. Get in touch with me here. Book in your free call.

Dating and relationships are TOUGH! But you’re not alone, and you should never feel alone. You’ll figure it all out, trust me. Piece by piece, everything will become clearer and easier, especially as you continue to learn and grow.

So hold that head up high and remember… he’d be MAD not to miss you. Totally bonkers. Completely insane! 😉 You’ve got this. And if you haven’t – it’s not a loss. It’s a gain.

You’re creating space for more compatible people to come into your life, and that my friends – is most certainly something to get excited about.

Take care!


How To Make Him Miss You

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Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, with over 3 million annual readers, globally. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.

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