Oh the dreaded “hey” message on Bumble – isn’t it just drearily dull!? But what are you supposed to say? How do you respond to “hey” on Bumble, when that’s all that’s said, or it’s put with the even-more-brain-numbingly-repetitive question of “how are you?” I mean, should you bother responding at all?! And if so – is there really a chance of conversation picking up? Well, in this post, we’ll run through how to respond to hey on Bumble, why it’s all that was said, and what it means…
Why Do People Just Say “Hi” On Dating Apps?
So first off, before we get to the bottom of determining how to respond to “hey” on Bumble, let’s first determine why they might be messaging like that in the first place.
See, as mentioned, this message tends to come in the form of:
“Hey” “Hey, how are you?” “Hi, how’s it going?” … Or something to a similar effect.
It’s friendly, but it’s short, impersonal and insanely repetitive when you get 500+ messages that are all the same. (Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean!)
See it happens on all dating apps – Tinder, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, the lot.
These standard messages are so… standard. And that’s why they’ve become such a problem. Because there’s no effort there and it drives no desire for you to respond.
I mean, when I was single, my argument was…
I don’t want to know HOW you are. I want to get to know WHO you are first. Because, I mean, even if you wasn’t great – would you really tell a stranger that straight away? What sort of impression would that give? And would they really care if you burnt your toast & was in a TERRIBLE mood this morning? No! Not really. Because they have no connection to you just yet… And if you carry on with these conversation lines, it won’t lead anywhere for you to be able to develop that connection.
So that’s why “hey” messages have become so pointless.
Dating Apps Today
In today’s dating world, you have choice overload… There’s thousands of profiles for you to sort through and then hundreds of matches that come through as a result.
(Depending on how long you’ve been single and how much you go on dating apps.)
As a single person, it can be hard enough to stand out and grab attention on dating apps, as it is, let alone if you’re sending an uninspiring message that creates the same conversation that everyone else is sending.
So ultimately, “hey”, or “hey, how are you?” just isn’t good enough as an opening message or a reply to a first response… For many people anyway.
Why Would Someone Message “Hey” On a Dating App?
So why does it happen so often? Why do so many people still send the standard “hey” messages, with no personality, no personalisation, nothing?! Well it could be that:
- They can’t be bothered to come up with anything better.
- They’re oblivious to the fact that it’s a RUBBISH opening message!
- They don’t understand that they have to work harder on dating apps today… Nor do they really understand dating apps as a whole, or have any sort of “strategy!”
- Maybe they’re clueless of what else to say!
- They could be bored of dating apps and are so going at it half-heartedly.
- They could be hoping you’ll then reply and take over the conversation.
- Or, they may not have taken the time to look at your profile properly and are just going through the motions, sending the same thing to different people and just seeing what they get back.
If They Just Say “Hey” On Bumble…
Ultimately, it’s either down to a lack or care, or no clue. (I.E. They really are rubbish on dating apps!) Then it’s for you to decide if you think they’re worth trying in real life, to see if they’re any different in person.
After all – on a personal note – I know that if I matched my now-boyfriend on a dating app, his conversation would have been so bad, I wouldn’t have replied!
But he’s dyslexic and terrible at messaging most people… Only I wouldn’t have known that had I met him on an app, and therefore would have missed this growing into everything it is!
So that’s food for thought, right?!
But how do you get to the stage of knowing what to do? How to you respond to hey on Bumble to then either give the person another chance, or decide they’re not for you?!
Well, luckily we’ve come up with some pretty great ready-made responses for you…
How To Respond To Hey On Bumble
So, what you respond to someone who messages “hey” on Bumble, will be dependent on when / how they’ve messaged it.
See, the unique thing about Bumble is that it gives women the power and means they message first.
So in most cases, if you get a “hey” message on Bumble, it will be in response to what YOU’VE written. In which case – was your opening message on Bumble on the same level too?!
If so – the simplest solution is to use one of these more fun & original Bumble opening lines. That way, you no longer give them the chance to say just “hey” back.
Now, Bumble doesn’t discriminate which means you can match with the same sex. (Woohoo.) When this happens, either of you can message first, which creates room for those boring “hey” messages to come through.
Similarly, one of the most common reasons for still receiving hey messages on Bumble, is if:
- You messaged first.
- Your match replied.
- Conversation either dwindled out and so they sent the “hey” message to either nudge you, or pick conversation back up.
- Or, conversation was going strong, but they’ve used “hey” as an opener the next day.
So let’s provide some templates for how to respond to hey on Bumble, based on these most common situations…
How To Respond To Hey On Bumble (Templates)
Have a read, and pick and choose from the following templates, to find the one that’s most relevant for you and your match.
If you’re struggling for how to respond to hey on Bumble, you could say something like…
– Hey? Really?! Come on – you can do better than that 🤪
– Hello, hello. I’m good thank you. How about you? Shall we make a pact after this? A PACT to skip the small talk until we’ve actually got to know each other better? 😉 Deal?
– Hey, hey! So here’s a challenge… for the next week… let’s skip the small talk? I want to know WHO you are before we go into HOW you are every day 😉 (And I honestly mean that in the nicest possible way!) ☺️ (These apps become terribly exhausting otherwise!)
You Could Also Say Something Like…
– Oh hey. I remember swiping you! I wanted to ask [something interesting about their profile here…]
– Hey, hey! Shall we skip the small talk and get straight into 21 questions?! You go first… Ask me ANYTHING! Well, anything except [say something funny here to make it light-hearted and jokey to give it the best chance of sparking off better conversation with more fun, banter!]
– Hello indeed! I’m good thank you, are you? [Lead straight into a different question to direct the conversation where you want it to go. See if you can bounce off each other & if that encourages any better conversation. If it doesn’t and you keep trying, then you know to leave things there.]
– [If you’re still not getting a lot back, try something like…] Oh hey. Are you a fan of small talk, or just not the best on dating apps? 😉 I know, it can get tedious on here, but I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had the same “hey, how are you?” message! You’ve surely experienced the same?! [It’s straight to the point, honest, gives them an opportunity to explain, and can nicely lead into more interesting questions about dating as a whole.]
How To Respond To Hey On Bumble
See, you could choose to not acknowledge the fact they’ve just gone in with a boring “hey” message, with no effort at all.
Instead, you can direct the conversation, ask more interesting questions and see how much you get back from them from there.
It could be, like they said, that they’re completely oblivious to what makes good chat on dating apps and you’ll look back on these first conversations (in months or years to come!) and laugh!
After all, there is a risk, by acknowledging the fact that their messages are… well… mind-numbingly dull (although you don’t directly say this!) they could get offended or defensive.
How To Decide What To Respond To Hey On Bumble
Ultimately – it’s your call. The best way to determine how to respond to hey on Bumble is:
- Do you want to play it safe and give them the opportunity to step up? Or, do you want to get straight to the point and be honest that this kind of chat won’t lead anywhere, so they then know they have to mix it up? (Then at least, there’s no confusion as to why conversation fizzles out, if it does!)
- Do you think the right person would take offence by what you say? And how can you better acknowledge the “hey” messages in a polite way that feels right to you?
- How much potential do you see in this person, based on their profile? Are they someone you’re highly interested in getting to know further? (In which case, it could be best NOT to mention their poor chat and to see if you start to get more from them, after asking the questions you want to know.)
The only other thing that’s important to remember is – particularly when dating – you want reciprocated effort. This is essential if you’re looking for the right person, who’s in the same place, looking for the same thing…
If you overlook their lack of effort with their initial “hey” message, but then take control and get the conversation going properly and they then RECIPROCATE that effort and interest, that’s the most important thing. Give them a chance!
It’s only really an issue if you don’t get anything back from there. Because they should see their value and know the importance of putting the time into messaging and getting to know you, on more than just a simple, surface level.
That’s All For This One
Does that make sense? Feel more confident about how to respond to hey on Bumble?
To re-cap – you first point of call is to:
- Send better opening messages yourself.
- If they say the simple “hey, how are you” type of message, reply briefly but then try to switch the conversation onto something more interesting.
- If they still keep seeming to go back to the boring “hey” chat, and struggle to give anything more – acknowledge it with one of our template messages above.
- If you’re asking more questions and aren’t getting a lot back, and the lack of effort has also been mentioned (lightly) to them, it could be a big sign to walk away and walk away now!
Remember – it’s nothing personal. If they’re sticking with small-talk, they could just be different person to you.
It could also be that they’re not ready for anything serious or are in a more complicated situation (that you certainly don’t want to get involved in!)
Ultimately, there will be plenty out there that you DO bounce off, and can have fun, interesting conversation with… Just don’t get disheartened, stick with it, and you’ll find them eventually!
Hope this has helped! Good luck!