How do you show you love someone, with more than just words? How do you show someone you love them with actions – and the actions that will mean the most to them? Well my friends, in this post – we’re going to break it all down. Here’s how to show someone you love them, backed by proven psychological studies (and – as always – great, original suggestions from us!)
The Fundamentals To Show Someone You Love Them
So when it comes to how to show someone you love them, there’s (luckily) lots you can do. You’ll never be short on ideas when you really think outside the box.
However, if you want to make someone feel THE MOST LOVED, you want to really tap into their love language.
Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages before?
Backed by qualitative research collected from over 30 years of marriage counselling; and acclaimed by psychologists, academics and readers alike, essentially, Gary Chapman has concluded that there are 5 key ways in which people give and receive love.
It is by using this, that we can understand the fundamentals for how to show someone you love them.
So allow me to introduce this to you, then break each category down with key examples and suggestions that you can put into practice…
Broken Down: The Five Love Languages
Gary states the five key love languages (and ways to show someone you love them) are as followed:
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
In summary, this means that you can make a person feel loved by the things that you say to them, the way that you touch them, by simply spending quality time with them, doing nice things for them, or buying them things (no matter how much or little this costs.)
When it comes to how to show someone you love them, the most effective way, is to use their love language to make them feel loved in the ways they best receive love.
How To Show Someone You Love Them
So, with this in mind, here’s how to show someone you love them, using the 5 key ways that we know people give and receive love.
Now, there will be some cross-overs between the categories, but breaking it down (broadly), section by section, we’ve got…
How To Show Someone You Love Them With…
Words Of Affirmation
To show someone you love them through words of affirmation, you can:
1) Tell Them You Love Them, Every Single Day
Even if it’s just before you go to bed at night or when you wake up in the morning, always make sure you’re telling your partner that you love them – at least once every day.
This is the simplest and easiest way for how to show someone you love them, utilising those all-important and commonly valued, words of affirmations.
2) Tell Them You Love Them In Different Ways
Those 3-letter words mean a lot, but look for other ways you can express how you feel. Look at different ways to say “I love you.”
How can you better articulate your feelings? With more depth and meaning?
See, it doesn’t have to be great big speeches, with huge declarations of love. Even little things like, looking into your partners eyes at night and saying something like:
“I love you so much, you know? You really do make me so happy.”
It’s genuine, it’s meaningful, it’s heartfelt and it will touch them beyond belief.
Try to also incorporate powerful appreciation messages for your partner into these too, as love and appreciation work hand in hand, to keeping your relationship healthy and strong.
3) Write a Love Letter For More Impact
So, guess what? You don’t have to simply say something, face to face, in person, to make someone feel loved through words of affirmation!
You can express that love in different forms, i.e. writing, and this is something they’ll then always have to treasure!
So grab your pen and paper, bring it back to basics and write that love letter.
You don’t have to do it every day, but on special occasions – like anniversaries or Valentine’s Day for example, it’s actually one of the best ways to celebrate!
4) Or Leave Love Notes as a Cute Little Gesture
Letters a little too much? Then there’s plenty of cute notes to leave your partner.
These can be anywhere – from dotted around the house, to hidden in his / her bag, right the way to snuck into their car!
From punny notes like: “You’ll always have a pizza my heart babe.” (On top of the pizza box.)
To romantic notes like: “I want to be the first reason you wake up in the morning and smile, and the last reason you do so before bed. So hey handsome. Have a great day!”
(These are great if you have to leave for work before him!)
They’re fun, unexpected and a great way to keep your relationship playful!
5) Remember How Much Reassurance Means…
Then (particularly if their love language is also Words of Affirmation), there’s nothing you can do better to make them feel loved, than to volunteer reassuring words, telling them how much you love them and how you feel, particularly in the moments when they’re having a wobble.
Be kind, be patient, and keep giving them those words of affirmations. It’s something small (and doesn’t really take a lot!) but will mean a lot to them.
So always seek to understand your partner and what you can do to make them feel the most loved, safe and secure in a relationship. This leads me onto my next points…
6) Give Them a Cute Nickname!
Giving your partner a cute nickname is a great way to show you love them, as it’s sweet and endearing… Something special, between just the two of you.
The more unique it is to your partner, and the more meaning it has, the better. Especially if you express that with them too…
Their nickname then becomes a constant little reminder of your love for them. Yup, it’s super cute!
7) Pay Them Genuine Complements
Complements are another thing that go a long way… Yet too often, we think things, but keep them to ourselves. Forget that!
Instead, when you think / feel something, share it with your loved one. Lift them up. Make them feel good! Pick up on both the big and little things, little and often.
Giving complements in front of others is pretty sweet too. (And don’t worry if they get embarrassed by this!) You’re just proud of them and want to express your love and appreciation regardless!
“Oh, my man is amazing at [that], aren’t you, babe?”
“Well, you want to see what [partner’s name] did the other day… So talented!”
“Doesn’t he look fantastic? I’m one lucky girl!”
8) Send Cute Text Messages
Words of Affirmation can be done both face-to-face and when you’re not in person.
So when you’re not together, don’t forget to send sweet little texts that make them feel loved in that way. (This is especially important if you’re in a long distance relationship.)
These can be as simple as a sweet good morning message, or a “thinking of you” before bed!
It just shows you’re thinking of them, you love them, and you want to make them feel good.
9) Phone or Send Voice Notes!
Likewise, for a more personal touch, pick up the phone when you’re apart and check in with a call or voice note.
This enables you to better express what you want to say… And it’s always nice to hear each other’s voice!
10) Allow Yourself To Be Vulnerable
Moving onto the “heavier stuff”, it’s important to remember to allow yourself to open up.
Because yes, it may be scary. You’ve already given your heart (which makes you vulnerable to degree as it is), and now you’re putting that trust in this person by giving even more.
But it will bring you closer… It will build a whole new level of intimacy and connection. And this – in turn – makes your partner feel more loved and trusted.
If you need to ease into this gently, try making it fun by starting with this “How Well Do You Know Me” Quiz Game. It will start conversations that enable a more open side of you to show.
11) Value What They Say
Now, there’s nothing more frustrating than telling someone something only for them to take no notice, or not even take it in. (Then regret it!)
So if you want to show someone you love them, you have to show them you value them, and this also comes from valuing their advice, their time and their input.
On a similar note, you can also go out of your way to bring up the things they say and show that you really do listen. Check in on them, check back up on things they’ve shared.
I mean – make notes so you don’t forget, if you have to! (Uh huh, if that’s not love, I don’t know what is! :P)
But show your partner you love them, by showing you listen to them and what they say is genuinely really important. Likewise…
12) Value What They Do
Another (less obvious!) way to show someone you love them, is to value what they do, and ACKNOWLEDGE this – tell them.
Recognise the things they do for you and express this with them. Thank them for the big things and the little things, showing you notice it, you’re on the same page and you appreciate it too.
This builds an – overall – healthier relationship, where the both of you are being the best partner that you can be, and encouraging the behaviour you want to see.
13) Value Who They Are
It’s easy to take a partner for granted. Especially as time goes on. It’s why so many people may KNOW their partner loves them, but they don’t always FEEL that love from them.
So try not to become complacent.
Notice the things you love about your partner, appreciate the things you love about them, and tell them… Make it your own personal challenge to tell them more!
You want to lift your partner up: make them feel good about themselves… Every day! Because that in turn, makes them feel loved and really “seen.”
14) Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
As well as being able to EXPRESS how you feel – if you want to show someone you love them – you should also be willing to not make a big deal of the things that don’t really matter.
Instead, be kind, forgiving, patient and understanding – and able to express this. But express any “criticism” in the right way and also know when NOT to say something.
After all, the chances are – your partner will notice when you could have said something, but chose not to, and they will appreciate the fact that you don’t always, if you don’t need to… Then in turn, better listen when you do only pick up on the serious stuff.
Remember – your partner doesn’t need to be perfect. You will still love them for who they are, as long as they’re still trying to be the best partner that they can be. (Just like you are.)
15) Be Their Biggest Supporter
So we mentioned how complements go a long way when it comes to showing someone you love them, and on a similar note – so does supporting your partner. This includes:
- Making an effort to ask questions and see how things are going… Particularly the things they’re working on, or the things that are important to them.
- Giving them words of encouragement – showing them you believe in them, you’re rooting for them and you’ve got their back (regardless of the outcome!)
- Bigging them up and making them feel good about themselves – making them feel like they can do anything and everything they want (and more!)
All of this is just another way to affirm just how much you think of them, and therefore how much you love them. After all – the two of you are A TEAM!
So expressing love doesn’t have to always be solely about the love itself, but about everything else that comes with having a great, sturdy and strong relationship.
How To Show Someone You Love Them With…
Let’s move onto the second love language now then, looking at how to show someone you love them by physical touch. See, if someone feels the most love in this way, try to:
16) Kiss Them Every Day
… And multiple times a day. With meaning!
If you don’t get to see your partner every day then – of course – you just have to stock those kisses up for when you’re with each other and make up for it then!
But focus on consistent AFFECTION, as it is of course, the ultimate way to make someone feel loved if this is their love language.
Cuddle, cuddle and cuddle some more! Did you know that there are actually many health benefits of cuddling?
Uh huh, it’s great for making someone feel loved & connected, but also benefits the two of you, in multiple ways too!
See, cuddling releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin, so it’s no surprise that it’s an effective strategy for making someone feel loved – no matter what their love language is.
Hold your partner close, embrace them well and truly in…
Whether it’s before you go to sleep at night, or first thing in the morning before you have to get up – it’s a great way to start and end your day.
18) Keep Your Spark Burning Bright!
Now, what’s one of the biggest things that separates two people from having just a friendship, to having a romantic relationship? Physical intimacy.
See there should be a spark, this burning chemistry and things still “happening in the bedroom” (if you know what I mean!)
This shouldn’t be a chore, but a desire. And if your partner feels loved, specifically by physical touch, physical intimacy is likely to go hand in hand.
This doesn’t mean that you have to get “down and dirty” all the time, but it does mean you make time for keeping that passion totally alive!
19) Show Affection In Public
Now this isn’t an ESSENTIAL when it comes to how to make someone feel loved. But it could be important to different people. I mean, think about it this way:
- Let’s say your partners love language is physical touch.
- Let’s say you “meet their needs” by giving them that affection behind closed doors, but the minute you’re out in public together – it’s a completely different story.
- Is that going to make your partner feel especially loved?
Even is PDA aren’t your thing, this can actually work in your favour as you then make them feel even more loved, if you make an effort to do even the smallest things outside your comfort zone…
Like putting your arm around them or kissing the top of their head, when out and about.
Think what you could do, know what they would like and know how much it would mean to them to then make them feel loved. On a similar note…
20) Do Small Gestures
For a person who values physical touch, it can even simply be about the small things – like a comforting hand on the leg or stroke of the hand with meaningful eye contact.
If you’re unsure of the different ways you can make them feel loved through physical touch – simply ask!
Communication is everything and they’ll appreciate the fact you’re even looking for ways to make them feel happy.
How To Show Someone You Love Them With…
Next up, we’ve got how to show someone you love them with quality time. See, everyone has slightly different ideas of what quality time is. But by definition:
“Quality time is when a loved person receives one’s undivided attention, in such a way as to strengthen the relationship.”
This is really important to recognise and understand. It’s not just about physically being in someone’s company but really being present with them. So with this in mind…
21) Make Time For Them
You can make someone feel loved, by simply making more time for quality time in a relationship.
(We created a complete guide on this that you can click there, because no matter how busy you are – there’s always ways to fit it in!)
By doing this, you’re showing your partner that you love them, you value them, and spending time with them is just as important to you, as it is to them, even if it’s not your love language.
The biggest gift you can give someone is your time as it’s the one thing you can never get back. So make someone feel loved daily, by consciously making the effort to make time for them, daily.
This you can actually do, whether you’re together or not. (Which is why the same still applies in a long distance relationship. In fact, this is a fundamental key for making long distance relationships work.)
22) … Without It Being a Problem
Now if you want to make someone feel loved, and you’re going to prioritise quality time – do so without it being a big deal or a problem.
Don’t make it feel like a chore or an obligation for you, otherwise it takes away from the “gesture” itself. Instead, show it’s something you WANT to do.
I mean, you don’t have to say, “I’m super busy, but okay…”
Your partner knows you. They’ll know you’re busy. You don’t need to state it and they shouldn’t have to “beg” or try to earn or convince you to spend that quality time with them.
Otherwise it may feel like the relationship is a little one-sided.
See, it may not always be EASY to make time, but it shouldn’t be a battle for them to spend it with you. (This is a big rule when it comes to making someone feel loved through quality time.)
23) Value Their Time
Another important element when it comes to making someone feel loved, is to value their time. This comes in two main ways:
- Valuing their time by never keeping them waiting (if you can help it.) After all, their time is just as important as your own.
- Telling them how much you value their time and enjoy their company. This goes back to expression and “words of affirmation in a way” but it’s a good way to make – perfectly clear – how much you love and appreciate a person.
24) Do Different Things With Them
There’s a great saying that: “If you do the things you did at the start of the relationship, your relationship will never have to end.”
I mean think back – at the start, didn’t you used to put the time and effort into planning lots of different things? You wanted to do and experience it all with your partner, right?!
From fun, spontaneous last minute date ideas to the cute & creative romantic date ideas… “Just because”! And didn’t it work? It started making the two of you fall in love?!
Well don’t lose that. If you want to KEEP making your partner feel loved – KEEP putting the time and effort into doing different things. Don’t just slip into the same old routine.
25) Don’t Leave It All Down To Them
So one of the biggest mistakes when it comes to trying to make your partner feel loved, is when you understand what their love language is, but your love language is different and you try to show them love in YOUR way instead of THEIR way.
So for example, let’s say you value Words of Affirmation, and you know they value Quality Time.
You tell them how you feel every single day, but you’re not always fully present or meeting their needs with that quality time…
They push for quality time, they make all the plans to make sure you’re having that quality time, but you’re missing a trick as although you’re showing love in other ways, you’re not making them feel loved in the most important way to them.
So notice where you’re at, what makes you feel loved, and what makes them feel loved…
And if you know that quality time is important to them – don’t leave everything down to them to organise!
In fact, the more you initiate, even if their love language doesn’t come as naturally to you, the more it will in turn, mean to them.
26) Hang Out With Their Friends / Family
Remember – quality time doesn’t have to be JUST the two of you, every single time. If you know your partner values quality time, include them in your life and your world where you can!
Do more group dates, where you can hang out with your friends, as well as each other. You can also involve them in family occasions so that they feel part of that too.
You will still have your time apart, doing different things with other people, but it’s good to have a mix, as it changes the dynamics of things which also then helps to keep things fun & exciting!
During Quality Time You Also Want To…
Now there’s a few “rules” when it comes to how to make someone feel loved through Quality Time. These are well worth mentioning before moving on. So, make sure that:
27) You’re Not On Your Phone!
Stop scrolling through social media or replying to messages when you’re supposed to be spending quality time with a person.
If you love them, and value them, show them by giving them the undivided attention they deserve.
This won’t be 24-7 of course, but when you’re spending time with them – make sure your focus is on them. Because hey… just being in the room with them doesn’t really count(!)
28) Really Talk To Them…
Simply taking the time to talk to your loved one, is another simple but essential way to make them feel loved. After all, your time is the most valuable thing you can give.
So be present. Give them that time of yours. Use these 365 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner to ensure you’re connecting daily.
Talk about the big things, the little things or even just their day, or how they’re doing – but ask with genuine interest. Don’t do it half-heartedly.
It keeps you connected, and shows you genuinely care, that way. This leads me onto my next point…
29) Genuinely Listen
Likewise, if you want to make someone feel loved, really listening to what they say is equally as important.
Give them time to speak, give them your undivided attention as they do so, really take it all in.
You want to show that you are there for them when they need you and are also give them what they need back from you…
Whether that’s then kind words, or your thoughts / feelings / opinions on a matter.
But always be fully present. As it’s vitally important. And listen – whether they’re speaking about something that takes your interest or not. (Or in more depth than you usually would!)
This means a lot and also says a lot about how you feel towards them. On this note…
30) Actively Engage
We’ve touched on it above, but it deserves its own point, in its own right, when it comes to how to make someone feel loved.
Pay attention to what your loved one is saying, and really try to understand them so that you can respond in a way that shows this.
This also means not just passively absorbing what they’re saying but actively participating in the conversation by adding in your own thoughts or further questions.
By doing this, you’re showing them you’re genuinely interested in them, how they feel and what they’re trying to say.
How To Show Someone You Love Them With…
Acts Of Service
Let’s now show how you can show someone you love them with Acts of Service – giving you ideas for different things you can do for them, and why that’s a mini declaration of love!
See, if you want to show someone you love them through acts of services, you might like to:
31) Do Their Chores For The Day
Especially if they’re tired or have had a tough week! This may not sound the most romantic, but it shows them you’re thinking of them, care about them and want to make things easier.
32) Cook Their Favourite Meal
They say that food is the way to the heart, right?! Well then, why not show someone you love them by cooking them their favourite meal?
Even if it’s not your forte and cooking isn’t your strong-point, it’s not about how it tastes necessarily but the effort you went to do it.
And hey – nothing beats coming home after a long day, to find someone has not only already taken care of dinner… but gone to the effort to make something they know you really like, right?
Now, if you’re a really terrible cook, then ordering in does still have a similar effect, because it’s the reasons WHY you’re doing it more than anything else and it’s still an “act of service”, it’s just a slightly less romantic gesture! So – there’s still ways to do this, you see?
33) Get Their Lunch Ready
So, my Mum and Dad have been together for over 40 years (amazing, right?!) and for over 30 of those, my Mum has been making my Dad’s lunch for him… EVERY SINGLE DAY!
She gets up, makes it all, whips up a quick breakfast whilst she’s at it, then wishes him a good day!
It’s “Acts of Service” at its absolute best!
Does this mean you have to do exactly the same? No. But could you get up early every now and then, or surprise your partner by prepping lunch the night before for them? Absolutely…
Especially if you’re the “better cook” or more organised, out of the two of you, and this is a job they don’t really like doing.
34) Give Them a Massage
Ommmm 👌 Want to make your partner feel, well and truly, looked after? Then giving them a massage (particularly after a long or hard day), will always be appreciated!
35) Or Plan a Romantic Surprise!
There are so many different romantic things you can do for your partner. Honestly! The list is pretty endless! So why not tie a few together, as a big romantic surprise / gesture?
The time, the effort and then the delivery of it all, are almost a completely guaranteed way to make your loved one feel loved and treasured! On a similar note…
36) Do Something You Know They Love
Acts of service, as a love language, is all about GIVING through DOING, so if you do something you know your partner loves (particularly if you’re not a massive fan of it), it’s a huge way to show your love and support.
We’re talking things like – taking them to a football match, or agreeing to a night of gaming with them. Because it’s all about the gesture and going out of your way to do the things that make them happy!
37) And The Things You Know Are Important To Them
On a similar note, there’s going to be times where you should (or need to) do the things you don’t necessarily want to, but which are important to them.
For instance: going to social events which are out of your comfort zone.
It might be hard, or not what you’d ideally want to do – but if you do it (and without complaining!), it will mean so much more to them.
Put them first. Just like I’m sure they often do, with you.
38) Be There Through The Good Times & The Bad!
Now, it’s a given, right? If you want to show someone you love them, you’ll stick with them through the good times and the bad.
It can require emotional strength (and sometimes some patience too), but it means so much more than just the support at the time…
As it also shows you’re in it for the long run, you love them, and won’t be going anywhere!
39) Look After Them When They’re Poorly
Has your partner got a cold? Feeling a little poorly? Then go out of your way to look after them… Not necessarily because you NEED them to, but because it’s nice to!
There’s something about being cared for when you are at your weakest that brings you so much warmth and gratitude.
So grab the cold and flu tablets, pop to the shop to get some lemons & honey and pamper round them a little. (I’m sure they’ll return the thought when you feel under the weather then too!)
40) Put Them First
Our final idea for how to make someone feel loved, in this Acts of Service section, is to look at ways you can put your partner first.
It could be as simple as serving their dinner before yours, you see? Simple things. Loving gestures. That’s what it’s all about!
How To Show Someone You Love Them With…
Last but not least then – we’ve got how to show someone you love them with gifts, which is the final of the five love languages.
An important reminder with this one – is it’s not always about how much you spend, but the thought behind the gift. So hopefully this gives you more ideas for how to do it…
41) Bring Things Home From Work
It could be something as simple as their favourite pudding, something they mentioned they were craving or a couple of beers if they’ve had a hard day!
42) Buy Little “Pick Me Ups”
Did you know there’s been a huge rise in blank “no occasion” cards? Yep, more and more, people are buying cards not necessarily for birthdays, or anniversaries, but “just because”.
Cards that portray a message, enable you to express how you feel, or show a person something…
So grab one of these, make the most of what’s on the market, and give them something they’ll truly treasure!
43) When There’s Occasions – Put Thought Into Your Gifts
Now there’s always going to be times for gifts – like at Christmas, birthdays or when you’re celebrating your anniversary.
But instead of getting “just anything”, if you want someone to feel loved through receiving gifts, put that time and thought into getting something with real meaning… Something cute or thoughtful!
Then you’re fully making the most of the opportunity to buy gifts, and using it to further strengthen your relationship and the love between you both.
44) Don’t Just Buy “Things”
On a similar note, giving someone a gift doesn’t always have to be a physical present. Buying EXPERIENCES can be a great way to show someone you love them.
So why not surprise your significant other with tickets to see their favourite band? Or whisk them away on a mini-getaway to somewhere they’ve always wanted to go?
Watching the joy it brings, and the excitement in their face is worth every penny and more. In fact, it’s probably one of the best gifts you can give… and gain far more from it yourself, too!
45) Make The Present Opening An Experience In Itself
If someone loves and appreciates gifts, and feels loved by receiving them, then why not make the process even more enjoyable by lengthening it out?
You could make a scavenger hunt, leaving clues or hints. Or, give a series of mini presents that tie in to the big present and make the “big reveal” even better! See how creative you can get with it.
46) NEVER Forget a Reason To Celebrate
Gifts go hand in hand with reasons to celebrate, so be sure to never miss an important occasion if you want to make someone feel loved and adored!
Mark it in your diary so you don’t forget, if you need. But make sure you’re on the ball!
47) And Create Other Reasons To Celebrate Too!
Got a “Meetaversary?” Survived living together for a whole month?! Then find fun little milestones, or things you can celebrate, incorporating small, sweet gifts into those.
48) Think Of Them When You’re Out & About
Off on a shopping spree? See a shirt you know he’ll love? Then why not get it?
Out on a coffee date with your friends? See they have DELICIOUS looking brownies that you know he’d love? Then grab one to take away and bring it back with you.
It’s a great way to show someone you’re thinking of them, even when you’re doing your own thing, and – in turn – make them feel loved.
49) Or Treat Them When You’re Out Together
On a similar note, let’s say you’re on a day out and you notice your partner eyeing up the ice-creams… Grab one when they pop to the toilet as a little surprise!
When you’re out and about, on a date day / night or not – treat them to things you know they’d love and appreciate, because again – it’s a simple way to make them feel loved.
50) Make Gifts For Them!
Last but not least then, you don’t actually have to spend a single penny, to give gifts that make someone feel loved. Homemade / DIY gifts also work.
Things like writing a love letter, or creating a romantic playlist, also count as gifts when presented properly.
So understand your partner’s love language then find creative ways to do different things that will mean the very most to them.
How To Show Someone You Love Them
Ultimately, when it comes to showing someone you love them, it’s about doing the things you know they’ll appreciate – making the effort, putting in the time and meeting their love needs.
Choose them, and continue to choose them… every single day. Focus on showing them that you love them, in every / all the different ways!
Because things like this? They make a real difference in a relationship, and will help to make you stronger than ever before.
Hope this has filled you with lots of ideas and inspiration. Take care!