How To Tell If a Guy Is Flirting With You

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Are you terrible at reading signals? Unsure how a person feels or what certain things mean? Perhaps you’re completely oblivious?! (I know, I know, it can be easily done. But it’s time to swat up!) Here’s how to tell if a guy is flirting with you by running through the key signs a guy is flirting with you. By the end of it, you’ll be a flirt-spotting pro! So let’s get stuck in.

How To Tell If a Guy Is Flirting With You

In no particular order, here’s 20 key signs a guy is flirting with you. 

Have a read, see which ones you recognise and are familiar with, then put it into context with a particular person to better establish if he’s flirting with you.

Signs a Guy Is Flirting With You

So what do you need to look out for? Well…

1) There’s Some Serious Eye Contact

So let’s start with a nice common one. See, eye contact is a major way to tell if a guy is flirting with you.

  • Does he keep looking in your eyes?
  • Is he holding your gaze?
  • Is he doing so with more intensity than you would if you were speaking to just a friend?

See, most people look at people they’re talking to. That’s natural, polite. But prolonged eye contact is usually an indication of feelings of attraction. Click here to read more about it – if you want to understand the more “science-y” side!

But in essence, he’s looking at you to build a stronger bond with you. He’s looking at you because he’s really interested in you.

And by holding deeper eye contact, not only does he get to know you better (better reading your reactions) but he also better takes in everything that you’re saying. (Which is important when it comes to developing new relationships!)

2) And Regular Little Glances

If the guy is shyer, you may not notice direct eye contact, but instead nervous little glances. He wants to look at you, he wants to connect with you, but he’s struggling a little.

Alongside this, a confident guy who’s flirting will also give you regular little glances as a sign of flirting – only this will be in a different type of situation.

So let’s say you’re in a group environment – you’ll find you still keep getting eye contact, or he looks at you when people say certain things, with a particular expression on, designed to make you laugh or smile.

Maybe there’s inside jokes there, or he’s creating them. Do you know what I mean?

Funny story – this is actually how mine and my partners “love story” began. We were both out at a bar and kept catching each others eye.

He’d look at me, I’d look away, and if I looked back again, he’d catch my eye once more. This carried on until we both started laughing and he came over to speak to me!

So if there’s eye catching, even with just glances, this can show a connection amongst both those who already know each other, and also strangers!

3) He Checks You Out

Another of the more obvious signs a guy is flirting with you, is if he’s checking you out – either subtly or not.

And this doesn’t mean it has to be done in a “creepy” way. It’s not all about him staring at your chest too much. Instead, he could simply be admiring you. Or you notice him really looking at you – taking you all in.

Signs he's flirting with you

4) Or Adjusts Himself

If he fancies you, he’ll also want to make sure that he’s looking good too. This is a key way to tell if a guy is flirting with you. (Just like a common sign of flirting in women, is us playing with our hair!)

So you may notice him straightening his shirt, squaring up his shoulders, trying to stand up a little taller, or running his hands through his hair, all in the hope of looking a bit more presentable to you. This is known as “Peacocking.”

Going one step further than this, he may also start “Preening.” So he may try to draw attention to himself and show himself in the best light – flexing his muscles a little as he opens the door. Things like that.

It’s usually pretty subtle, but noticeable still and a big indicator when it comes to how to tell if a guy is flirting with you.

5) He May Be Fidgety

So guys flirt when they’re attracted to you, and are interested in you. But for some, flirting can be a little daunting or intimidating. (It can take a little bravery if it doesn’t come naturally to you, right?)

As a result, you may notice he’s a little fidgety. Not necessarily just with nerves, but perhaps with a degree of “adrenaline” too. He’ll try to hide it, try to play it cool.

But do you notice him playing with his drinks bottle? Shifting a little in his feet? Tapping his knee up and down? They’re all subtle little signs a guy is flirting with you – or building up to it anyway!

6) He Closes The Distance Between You Two

Do you feel him getting closer to you? Are you starting to feel the heat?! You will do if there’s chemistry between the two of you. And that’s why he’s doing it.

See, not only do people naturally move in closer when they’re fully engaged in a conversation, but if he’s flirting, he’s also doing it to get those sparks flying a little more.

So he’ll lean in or choose the chair closer to yours. You’ll also find he has more open body language or mirrors your behaviour. There’s actually quite a few cues like these that indicate attraction and flirtation!

7) And Touches You When He Can

Building on from our last sign of flirting then, we now have physical touch. By this, I don’t mean anything inappropriate. It’s most likely gentle taps on the shoulder, the brushing of shoulders, a hand pat or rub.

And it’s usually done subtly. So maybe when he’s asking you if you’d like another drink, or you share something with him and he’s trying to show care and compassion.

If he’s feeling bolder, there may be a brush of the leg, playing with your feet if you’re sat opposite each other, perhaps initiating hand holding or giving lingering hugs! It depends on his character and where your relationship is currently at.

But these are the kind of things you want to look out for when it comes to how to tell if a guy is flirting with you. Would he be this way with a male friend? Probably not. And there’s your giveaway!

Signs a guy is flirting with you

8) He Tries To Make You Laugh

Ah, humour… Isn’t it the way to our hearts? Most women talk about the appeal of a guy who can make them laugh. So it’s a no brainer that humour is often used when flirting.

In fact, click here if you’d like to read more about the psychology of why being funny when flirting is vital.

Essentially, if he’s trying hard to make you laugh, he’s probably also trying to flirt with you. Even if he’s not a comedian (imagine if he was!), there will be funny stories to lighten the mood or funny jokes to try to get a giggle.

When he does get a reaction – he’ll feed off that, using it to gage your sense of humour and then “cracking out” similar things to build on it more.

If you want to joke back, here’s some of the best flirty jokes for guys (go on… be bold, be brave!) Talking of which…

9) And Laughs At What You Say

Laughter is another sign a guy is flirting with you, so if he’s flirting – he’ll always go along with what you say. Even if you crack a joke that wasn’t particularly funny, he’ll humour you or laugh out of politeness.

He wants to build that connection, show you’re on the same page. He’s also more likely to find you entertaining – so there’s also that. When you click, you click, as they say!

10) He May Say Slightly Inappropriate Stuff

Okay so we’re going to throw a spanner in the works now. But one of the ways to tell if a guy is flirting with you, is if he comes out with some, “questionable” things, shall we say.

So maybe it’s a joke that’s gone wrong, or a funny story that wasn’t actually funny. It could also be an attempt at flirting that comes out as creepy or too forward. Too personal sometimes even.

People make mistakes right? And it’s always hard when you’re meeting someone new and don’t 100% know what they’re like.

He may be saying things to try to gage your reaction – get to know you better. See where he can and can’t push his limits.

He may also have simply “lost his cool.” He’s not really sure what he’s saying, things are coming out the wrong way and he will definitely cringe about it after!

But that’s just the effect you’re having on him! He’s getting flustered! So try not to be too hard on him – especially if it’s only the first date.

11) Or Uses Innuendo

Another similar sign a guy is flirting with you, is when he uses innuendo, or tries to make things sexual. 

Now this has to be done properly, and isn’t going to be suitable for everyone. (Not all girls like this kind of chat!) But that’s one of the mistakes guys often make – they think they have to flirt in a sexual way, for it to be flirting. (Actually, that’s not the case!)

Sometimes doing so can come across in the wrong way – like they’re only after one thing.

But if he’s using innuendo, it’s usually because he doesn’t want you to see him as “just a friend.” He doesn’t want to get put in that friend-zone. He’s therefore making his intentions clearer. He’s more openly flirting with you. And it’s usually “what he knows.”

Why doesn’t every guy do this? Well because they know there’s better tactics out there! But also, in many cases – because it means putting yourself out there. He could be shy, scared of rejection, or like you but try to hide it (for one reason or another.) 

So although innuendo is a common sign of flirting, and one of the most recognised signs, just remember that:

  1. It’s definitely not the only way to tell if a guy is flirting with you.  
  2. Not everyone flirts in this way.
  3. And actually, the guys who do still use this flirting technique, probably have a bit of a naturally flirty character. (I.E. They’ll be like this with multiple people, not just you!)
Signs a guy is flirting with you

How To Tell If a Guy Is Flirting With You…

12) He Teases You

We’re flying through these signs a guy is flirting with you now, so what else have we got? Well, teasing of course! This goes straight back to being at school, right? Where boy likes girl and so is a little mean to her!

It’s a good flirting technique though. In this post, we explore why and how to do it properly. But in a nutshell, if he’s teasing you, being a little cheeky, and grinning about it – it’s usually always a good sign!

13) He Asks You Lots Of Questions

Next up, we’ve got inquisition… when a guy asks you lots of questions. Now this may not be typically seen as flirting, but it’s 1) how he asks, and 2) what he asks.

Is he asking flirty questions? Is he asking deeper questions than you’d typically ask a colleague, acquaintance or friend? Which way is he taking the conversation and why?

See, remember, the only reasons he’s asking more questions than most, is because he’s taking a genuine interest in you. He wants to get to know you. He also wants to keep the conversation flowing so that he can build a stronger bond.

As part of this, if he’s flirting – you’ll also find he’ll try to relate to what you say. You like something? No way! So does he! He’ll try to show you you’re on the same page. And tie things into stories that he thinks may impress you – or show himself in a good light.

You see? So the kind of questions he asks and the way he responds can actually be pretty revealing!

14) He Allows Things To Go Deeper

Okay, so here’s another one you perhaps didn’t expect. And that’s the thing when it comes to knowing how to tell if a guy is flirting with you – there’s not a “one size fits all!” 

See for some, flirting can come in the form of conversation… but not necessarily having all the cheeky chat! For some, flirting comes from building a connection – like we started to touch on above.

It comes from having conversations you wouldn’t have with everyone and sharing more intimate things that build a deeper bond.

  • Is he relating to you? (As mentioned above!)
  • Is he opening up a little about himself? 
  • Has he been sustaining eye contact whilst doing so? (Again, as mentioned above – all these things tie in, you see!)
  • Is he purposely asking you more interesting questions? Not just doing small talk?
  • Does he genuinely seem to be making an effort with conversation?
  • And really listening to what you’re saying too? Being fully present and fully engaging back with you?

Then this is one of the more subtle signs of flirting. Or something that works hand-in-hand with flirting. But if you think about it, it makes sense. See in most cases:

Effort means interest.

So if he’s really putting the effort in, more than what you’d expect on just a friendship level, then there’s probably also a degree of flirting going on there too.

How to tell if a guy is flirting with you

15) He Tries To Make You Smile

When he’s around you, he wants you to be happy, to be having fun. This is different from using humour. Instead, it’s about HAPPINESS.

So he’ll make conversations, interactions and activities fun. Whether that’s by messing around, telling jokes, saying sweet things or just being full of energy to make things more enjoyable. The goal is your satisfaction and to get you smiling.

Similarly with this one, he could also flirt by being a gentleman. Uh huh, any guys reading this – take note, as like we said previously – excessive innuendo isn’t the only way to show your interest romantically.

So whether he pulls out your chair, offers to buy you a drink, opens the door, or goes out of his way to make sure you get home safely – he is showing that he’s actually a pretty decent guy. A decent guy who will make you feel like a true Princess (or Queen!)

He’s trying to impress you and making you feel special… It’s another way to show you he sees you as more than just a friend.

16) He Compliments You

Complements are a classic flirting technique, especially from guys. He wants to make you feel good about yourself, whilst showing his intent… He finds you attractive!

In most cases – if he’s being genuine (click here for how to tell) – he also means the things he’s saying too! So it’s sweet of him to share them with you.

This may not just be direct complements about you, but flirty complements like, “any guy would be lucky to have you!” They hint at how he feels about you, and how he sees you as a person.

So make a note of what he’s saying and don’t let them slip under your radar if you’re trying to determine if a guy is flirting with you!

17) He May Throw In The Odd Pick Up Line

So here’s another one – a classic sign of flirting, which is the use of a pick up line. It may be smooth, it may be cheesy, but you may also think, is he just joking around, or does he actually fancy me?!

Well regardless of whether he’s joking or not, he is still flirting. He’s purposely “over-the-top-flirting” so that it can be shaken off as a joke if his efforts aren’t reciprocated with your interest.

This protects him from rejection, you see. But he’s still giving you the lines to test your reaction and get the banter going! So it’s 100% another thing to look out for. Similarly…

18, Or a Wink / Eyebrow Raise

Do people still wink? Well yes, yes some do. They may also take an exaggerated breath out when they see you like, “phoar, look at you!”, or do a suggestive eyebrow raise when you’re talking.

Another common flirting technique is an eyebrow flash. This is a quick up-and-down of the eyebrows, combined with a smile. It’s an attraction cue and good way of flirting.

Things like this? They’re definite giveaways for how to tell if a guy is flirting with you. So take note. Become aware! There’s plenty to look out for.

19) He May Lick His Lips or Look At Your Lips

We’re really stepping up the heat now, as we draw towards the end of the list for how to tell if a guy is flirting with you. So my friends, it’s time for the animal instincts to come out!

Does he lick his lips? As if you were a delicious meal?! See, we lick our lips when we see something we desire. When you’re attracted to someone, your mouth actually produces extra saliva, so it’s a natural not-even-thought-about reaction in many cases.

Licking your lips can also be done seductively, to make them softer and more moisturised – puckering up for a kiss, kind of thing. So this is certainly a sign of flirting!

Likewise, if his gaze keeps slipping down to your lips while he’s talking to you, it could be a sign that he’s admiring you, fantasising about you, wants to kiss you even.

Either that or you have a little lipstick on your teeth and it’s distracting! But let’s hope for the former as opposed to the later, hey?!

20) You Just Feel It

Last but not least then, on top of all of these little signs, you may also just get a “gut feeling.” You’ve tied all the signs in together, along with your own signs or knowledge of this person and can just FEEL those flirty vibes. You feel something between the two of you. Something that excites you!

How to tell if a guy is flirting with you

How To Tell if a Guy Is Flirting With You

So we’ve covered the key signs a guy is flirting with you, which should (as a whole) help you to understand how to tell if a guy is flirting with you.

How many did you find rang true as you read through?

  • If absolutely none of these sounded familiar for the guy you had in mind, then the chances are – he’s not feeling it. He only see’s you as a friend.
  • If there’s a few of the signs, then there’s something to work with. 

Also take into consideration his character. Is he a naturally flirty, or more reserved person? How well do you know him and how would you expect him to act if he had feelings for someone?

Can you start to make sense of it a little easier, and better understand his behaviour now?

What To Do If a Guy Is Flirting With You

If you have a strong incline that a guy is flirting with you, then you decide how you respond based on whether the attraction is there in return.

Be mindful not to lead anyone on. But don’t be afraid to explore things romantically if there’s “potential” there, or things that you won’t know until you explore. 

Up your flirting game, see how things develop. 

If you’re still unsure if he’s flirting with you, flirt with him and see how HE responds. See if that encourages him to flirt back with you too. Flip it around a little! 

And if you’re still not sure, but are interested in a person, then – at the end of it all – don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Ask HIM out. It doesn’t have to be a one-way thing!

Be Bold, Be Brave…

Remember, flirting is just the start of a relationship. A relationship that may or may not go somewhere.

Right now, it’s still early days, which is why you shouldn’t be afraid to up your flirting game, or be open to flirting back with others too.

I hope this has helped to make things a little clearer for you when it comes to how to tell if a guy is flirting with you, anyhow.

If you’re still unsure, or in a difficult situation, simply drop me a line and we’ll figure it out together. Sound good? Okay good!

That’s all for this one then. Take care!

Love,
Ell_xx

How to tell if a guy is flirting with you

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