Those three little words, they can be harder to say than one may think, right? Wondering how to tell your boyfriend you love him? When the right time is to say you love him? How often to say you love him? And how you can make sure that he actually knows you mean it? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. In this post we’re going to break it all down.
When Is The Right Time To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him?
So let’s start with the “when” part. When should you tell your boyfriend you love him? When is the right time? Because I get it, there’s likely to be all these questions running through your head.
- How soon is too soon?
- Should you ever wait?
- If so, how long should you wait?
- What happens if he’s not yet said it?
- And when do most people say it?
Well hold up, hold up, we’ve answered all of these questions and more in this post:
I’ve set it to open in a new tab so that you can bob across to that post, but not lose your place in here. It will get rid of all of those “what ifs”. But essentially:
“You should tell your boyfriend you love him when you know, hand on heart, you feel it. And if you’ve reached this point, the chances are – you’ll know he feels it too.
So don’t worry to much about this part. Don’t rush to get to that level, don’t force your boyfriend to open up more than he’s comfortable with. Let it progress naturally. Relax and enjoy the process.
Because when you know you love your boyfriend, you feel it, and it’s a healthy love, a reciprocated love, you’ll then know it’s the right time.
How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him
So when you know you feel it, you know it’s true – how do you tell your boyfriend you love him? Well, let’s break it down, looking at the different types of situations.
How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him For The First Time
First up, let’s start with how to tell your boyfriend you love him if you’ve never said it before. A few pointers for this one, to help you along the way…
1) Ease Into It
You don’t have to be completely guarded to pouring your absolute heart out to him. I mean, that’s enough to make anyone feel a bit nervous! So instead, take baby steps.
- Tell him how happy he’s making you. Tell him how else he makes you feel.
- Continue to build the openness, trust and intimacy.
- Let him know your feelings are developing (when of course they are), as you’ll often find that helps to make him open up a little more too.
- Also remember – you two are in a relationship now. You’re official. That gives you a little more security. Don’t forget that. Use it to help you feel more comfortable to share how you feel.
2) Don’t Overthink It
I know it can seem scary. Falling in love in itself can feel a little scary. It’s like you’re putting your feelings in someone else’s hands. But love is also such a beautiful thing – so allow yourself to enjoy it.
Don’t let the question of how to tell your boyfriend you love him, take away from the joy that loving him is bringing! Just sit with those feelings for a little while, appreciate them.
You don’t need to tell him the very moment you first feel it. Make sure you’re sure before you do. There’s no rush. Then when you do tell him, tell him when it flows naturally. It doesn’t have to be a massive thing.
3) Remember It Doesn’t Need To Be Perfect
Telling him when you’re drunk and he’ll think you don’t need it? Maybe not the best way to tell your boyfriend you love him for the first time.
But other than that – don’t think that there has to be this massive, picture-perfect moment. If you plan it like this, and build it up to try to make it this – you’re more likely to put pressure on it.
Just let it happen naturally, and focus on the way you FEEL as opposed to what you “want” in terms of how you think this moment should happen.
4) Avoid Having Expectations
Another thing to avoid? Having any expectations. Expectations can sometimes taint the moments that could be perfect – just by them naturally unfolding themselves.
So like I said – try not to think about how it “should” be, or how you picture it being. In fact, try not to think too much about it at all.
Also don’t build up how you want your boyfriend to respond – or feel sad, disappointed or angry if he doesn’t respond the way you want him to.
Yes, you would feel a sting of rejection if he didn’t say I love you back. You may also worry about feeling stronger for him than he does for you.
But worrying about it won’t change it. If you want to tell your boyfriend you love him, if you want to share that love with him – do it! But do it to SHARE, not to necessarily expect anything in return.
I mean, in most cases, he will say it back. He probably feels exactly the same way as you! But if you avoid any expectations and set no “standards”, you’ll avoid any disappointments and instead, most likely, be surprised with joy!
5) Express Your Love In Different Ways
So if you want to know how to tell your boyfriend you love him, but it feels like a big deal – like we started with, ease into it. But also know that you don’t have to rely solely on those three what-can-sometimes-seem scary words.
Focus on how you can SHOW him you love him. Tell him how much you appreciate and adore him. Express your love without directly saying “I love you” if that makes it easier. Then when you’re ready – just take the plunge!
Honestly, the first time you do it, it may seem like a big deal. Initially, it may also not always come naturally. But the more you say it, the more it does. And the most important thing is that you both feel it. Because when you feel it, the “expressing it” part becomes so much easier.
Just don’t be afraid to drop that guard down a little. Remember:
How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him After an Argument
What else do we have now then? Well I guess “I love you” can be pretty hard to say in the heat of an argument.
How do you tell your boyfriend you love him, and show him you mean it, so that the two of you can let go of whatever’s happened and move on?
Well this one is quite simple. See the hard part is not usually knowing what to say, but being able to push any ego or stubbornness aside to say those three important words.
When you do, just make sure:
- You’re sincere.
- You say it like you mean it.
- You say it with the right tone.
Use your words to soften the situation. Touch his hand. Look into his eyes. Tell your boyfriend you’re sorry, you don’t want to fight and you love him. Bring both of you back to the present, the here and now, and use it to put things into perspective again.
How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him Day To Day
Day to day then, it’s good to tell your boyfriend you love him. Don’t be shy about this. Just slip it in. Say “I love you” whenever one of you leaves the door, whenever you end the call, and of course at night before bed. Get into the habit of it. Little and often. Little and often. Until it becomes natural.
It continues to build that bond and that intimacy. Here, you may also like to have a read of this:
This is really useful as there’s far more ways than just one, and when you express it in different ways:
- Not only can you better get across the depths of your feelings.
- You can also say it in ways appropriate to the situation.
For example, maybe you don’t always want a deep, heartfelt declaration. Maybe sometimes you just want to say something nice which shows you love him, without saying the same words.
Sometimes you can say “I love you” in different ways, that actually mean even more. So it’s well worth checking out.
Find it hard to express your feelings? Then consider writing them out! Not necessarily in a massive love letter, but through cute little notes. Here:
How often do most people say I love you in a relationship? Well a survey was done and it was discovered that:
“Nearly 50 percent of respondents who have been in a relationship for between two and five years reported telling their partner “I love you” daily. For couples together longer than five years, that number dropped to just 33 percent, and for those in relationships longer than 50 years, it was just 10 percent (c’mon, grandparents— you can do better!).”
Up your game. Make telling your boyfriend you love him, a simple, easy and regular thing!
Actions Speak Just As Loud As Words
To finish off now then, I just want to highlight how actions speak just as loud as words.
What can you do to show your boyfriend you love him? What can you do to make him feel good? How can you make him feel valued and appreciated?
Always do your best to be the best version of yourself that you can. Because THAT my friends, is what will strengthen your relationship and make this a love that, actually, doesn’t have to end.
That’s all for this one then! Good luck. Take care.