It’s Hard Being Strong All The Time. If You’re Struggling, Read This…

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It’s hard being strong all the time. Having to keep picking yourself up, putting on a brave face, pushing through the knock-backs. It can become exhausting.

Sometimes you wonder how much longer you can even keep it up. But you can get through this, and you will. How do I know? Because you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

Think of all the times you’ve been through something you wish you hadn’t. You might have thought you were struggling, barely even surviving. But you still survived.

I’m not going to give you all the ‘top tips’ lists or ‘things to do’ to feel happy again.

You know there’s things you can do to try to get through this, but right now – it’s okay to just take a moment to simply feel. To cry, to shout, to scream, to let it all out!

Take This Time Now…

Feel your emotions. Process whatever you’re going through.

Walk and walk and walk, talk and talk and talk. Do whatever you need to do, with whatever outlet that works for you, until, eventually, you feel like your mind is a little lighter.

Do whatever you need to do, to get through the hour, get through the day. And take it day by day.

You might feel like you’re falling apart, but really, you’re just piecing yourself back together.

Everything that happens is happening to teach us something new. It’s shaping us – even when we don’t want to be shaped.

We have to. Because we’re destined for more than this – for better than this. And the process can be painful. Growth is painful. 

Sometimes things happen that you don’t want to, and it doesn’t become clear straight away.

Or even if it is clear, even if you understand that this is probably for the best long term – it doesn’t take away from the fact that this isn’t what you want.

But the biggest reason you don’t want it, is because of how this is not making you feel in this moment. It SUCKS, I get it!

You don't have to be strong all the time

Right Now You’re Hurting…

And I wish there was something I could do to take the pain away, but there’s not. And sometimes there’s nothing you can do either. Sometimes you simply have to ride it out.

Just know that you’re not weak. You don’t have to be strong all the time, and when you feel like you’re not “being strong” – know that that doesn’t take away from who you are as a person.

Stop beating yourself up and being so hard on yourself. Stop setting your own standards so high when you wouldn’t be like this to anyone else.

If anything, it only makes you a stronger person when you face up to how you feel and RECOGNISE that you’re not okay.

Just remember – your emotions are fully justified here, even if someone tries to tell you otherwise. And – believe it or not – but you’re probably doing far better than you even realise, or give yourself credit for.

Also know that it’s okay to not always be okay – as cliched or over-used as that statement may be, it’s true.

You don’t always have to have everything together, you don’t always have to feel happy. You can’t constantly keep moving forward. I mean, you’re not a MACHINE!

What to do if you're struggling

We All Get These Knock Backs…

Sometimes you will have knock backs which set you back and put your progress on pause. But you need that pause.

Because when you’re not pausing, you’re not reflecting or learning. And it’s the learning part that’s going to give you the strength to feel like you again.

Don’t rush the process. It’s not about time, but about processing. About facing up to the things that you don’t really want to and being able to shift your perspective, being able to say…

“Okay, this sucks. This sucks so bad. But why did this have to happen? What is this teaching me? How will this benefit me? How will this support me moving forward? How am I going to turn it into a good thing?”

When you can move your sadness into frustration and determination, it then fuels your growth. And when you’ve reached this point, you know that you’re ready to bounce back

Until then, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Whatever you’re going through, someone else has been through exactly the same thing, or worse – and got through it.

And that doesn’t take away from how much this hurts right now, but I hope it does give you the strength & hope to know that you will do the same too.

It’s Hard Being Strong All The Time

It’s Hard Being Strong All The Time…

There’s no denying – it’s hard being strong all the time. So allow yourself to let your guard down, sit with it, feel it and accept it. Then when you’re ready, you will re-build yourself again…

But you’ve got to be ready. There is “no rush” as such, as you can’t FORCE yourself. When you try to force yourself to be okay or brush things off sooner than you’re ready – it doesn’t work. So take your time.

Just know that you are loved. So unbelievably loved. You have so much about you and you will not let this beat you…

This is just one of the many hiccups we will all inevitably face on the journey that is called life, but each one we face, feel and properly overcome – only builds us up more.

I genuinely care about you. And I want you to care about yourself enough to allow yourself this time you need to heal, from whatever it is that you’re facing.

Also know that you’re probably going to jump back and forth between fighting back and feeling the way you feel at this moment in time. And that’s okay too.

It’s a process, and it’s not linear. So don’t ever feel like you’re slipping back, because you’re not.

Sending you so much love and support. Take care of my friends.

Lots of love,

It’s Hard Being Strong All The Time

Photo of author
Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, with over 3 million annual readers, globally. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.

2 thoughts on “It’s Hard Being Strong All The Time. If You’re Struggling, Read This…”

  1. Thanks for writing this article. I’m tired, I’m always the one my family and loved ones turn to when they need something. I’m strong, very strong. Resiliency could be my middle name! I don’t have a problem being the rock for my people but I get tired. Sometimes I just want someone to take care of me for once. I’m happy with a hug! That’s it! But all in all, it was a breath of fresh air to read this article. It inspired me to be okay with feeling like this. After all, I’m only one person and I’m only human. Regardless, if I don’t do the things I do, they won’t get done. I’m happy when I can be there for them and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just sometimes I want to sleep in or have a couple days to myself. I take a day off but there’s always something to do. I stay busy but sometimes I get overwhelmed and reading this article has refreshed me so I give you much gratitude. You helped me keep pushing forward so my family and loved ones can have a better life amidst the struggles we experience.

  2. You have no idea how much I needed to read this. For so long I am the one in my family who it seems like that has so much put on my shoulders like im the one who has to be the strong one all the time. Most days I hide how I feel because I don’t want to be weak.


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