Should You Kiss On The First Date?

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Let’s look at some dating etiquette. Should you kiss on the first date? On what date should you kiss? Is it bad if you kiss on the first date? Is it bad if you don’t kiss on the first date? 

So many questions, I know, I know. So let’s get to the bottom of it. Here’s everything you need to know about kissing on the first date!

Should You Kiss On The First Date?

So when it comes to if you should kiss on the first date, there’s a few things to consider. 

  1. First up – how do you feel? Do you like this person? Do you feel a connection, a desire, something there?
  2. How did the first date go? Did you have a good time? Did it go how you expected it to? What’s the atmosphere like between the two of you now?
  3. Do you want to kiss them? If there were no other considerations involved, would you kiss them right now?
  4. Do you think a kiss would make things clearer? Help you better establish how you feel?
  5. What are you worried about? Is there not “a moment”? Are you concerned with how it might come across?

Is It Bad If You Kiss On The First Date?

Because that’s the thing isn’t it – I know what you’re thinking. Is it bad if you kiss on the first date? How does that come across? What does that say about you? You don’t want to come across as “easy” right?

But girl, the truth is – you’re not. If there’s chemistry there, if it feels natural, if it happens in the moment – this kiss, it can be a good thing!

Recommended Read: Is There Chemistry? [Click To Find Out]

Also remember, we’re in the twenty first century… Kissing on the first date, doesn’t tend to be seen as a big deal anymore. So if you’re feeling it, if you want it – go for it. And don’t worry about how you come across, because for the most part, there will be no frowns at all. Trust me.

But Shouldn’t You Leave Him Wanting More?

Ahhh, this little old chestnut. So yes there’s still the argument of “leaving them wanting more” – if you kiss on the first date, he’ll know what to expect. You haven’t played “hard to get” as such.

But the chances are, if the kiss is good – that will only make him want more! And there’s other ways to play it cool – other ways to suck him in, aside from not giving him that first kiss.

Recommended Read: How To Make Him Want You
Recommended Read: How To Play It Cool (THE RIGHT WAY!)

Should You Kiss On The First Date?

When Shouldn’t You Kiss?

So when shouldn’t you kiss? When is it better to leave it out? Well –

  1. You’re not feeling it. You don’t want to kiss him. (Of course!)
  2. You feel pressured to kiss him. He’s pretty forward!
  3. You’re kissing him for the sake of it. (I mean, you can if you want, but it’s probably not going to be particularly fulfilling and will just give him mixed messages.)

At the end of the day, it’s your decision. Yours and his. (Or hers, of course.) Nothing else matters except what the two of you want to do and whether it’s mutual.

Is Kissing On The First Date Normal?

So if it’s not bad to kiss on the first date, is kissing on the first date normal? Well Match actually did a survey and they found out that the older the generation, the more likely they are to kiss on the first date. For instance:

  • 52% of GenX daters kiss on the first date.
  • 50% of Millenials kiss on the first date.
  • 47% of Baby Boomers kiss on the first date.

So it’s still pretty evenly split, which means, ultimately – there’s no expectations either way.

Recommended Read: 20+ Cute Dating Milestones

Does a Kiss On The First Date Mean Anything?

So does a kiss on the first date mean anything? Well, that depends on the people, how the first kiss goes and the connection that’s there.

See, a kiss on the first date in itself, doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Especially as pretty much half the population are doing it! It’s an indication that the date didn’t go terribly, but it doesn’t necessarily mean much more than that. Not automatically anyway.

However, if you have a spark, if there’s something there, and you feel something on that first kiss – then yes, absolutely, it will only build on what you have further.

Recommended Read: What To Text After a First Date

Should You Kiss On The First Date?

Is It a Good Sign If You Kiss On The First Date?

Is it good if you kiss on the first date? Well, yes, as a whole, we can say it’s a pretty good sign if you kiss on the first date. But only if the kiss is happening for the right reasons.

See, you should kiss on the first date:

  1. If the moment comes naturally. A little awkwardness can be kind of normal, but it shouldn’t feel forced.
  2. The chemistry and desire is there from both sides. You both want to kiss or you feel like kissing will clarify your feelings further. See, kissing not only feels good, but it does good

According to Healthline, “kissing triggers your brain to release a cocktail of chemicals that leave you feeling oh so good by igniting the pleasure centers of the brain. These chemicals include oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which can make you feel euphoric and encourage feelings of affection and bonding.”

So kissing not only feels good (and can be pretty fun!), but it also brings the two of you closer.

The other benefit of kissing, is that you can also see pretty early on, if you’re likely to be compatible sexually. A good kiss says a lot.

Sometimes you may kiss on the first date and may not really “feel it”. Other times, that kiss will only bring you closer. So kissing on the date can also be good for firming up how you feel and how you see that person.

Is there something there? Could you be better off as friends? It will help you find out!

What if he doesn’t kiss you on the first date? Or second date? Or third? Well click here to make sense of that predicament… but in most cases, it’s not what you think!

Should You Kiss On The First Date?

So with everything considered, what’s the verdict? Should you kiss on the first date? Well it’s as simple as – if you want to, yes. If you don’t, then don’t.

I know, I know, it’s nothing groundbreaking really. But it’s good to see that so many people do, there’s nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about if you do. But at the same time, there’s no pressure to kiss on the first date if you’re not feeling it either.

No two people are the same, no dates are the same. So it entirely depends on the two of you and how you feel in the moment. Simple as that!

For more dating tips and guidance, check out our Best Recommended Dating Books. You may also like to read:

Got any specific requests? Then don’t be afraid to write in! I’m more than happy to point you in the right direction, and help you better navigate the dating world.

Take care!


Should You Kiss On a First Date?
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Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, with over 3 million annual readers, globally. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.

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