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Dear Diary, My Not-So-Secret Diary

Dear Diary, My Not-So-Secret Diary

My Not So Secret Diary

Dear Diary, so I guess I better introduce this new serious, incase you’re thinking, “Umm, she does realise this is published here, right?!” Well yes, yes I do. See I’ve wanted to launch a Dear Diary section for a while now. Writing has got me through some of the hardest times in my life, but why not use it to also track some of the best? After all, as the LEGEND, Mr Tony Robbins has always said,

“A life worth living, is worth recording.”

The thing is. I have two problems with that:

  1. I’m not very good at diary writing. I can’t seem to ever stick to it. I get distracted, forget, then days pass, weeks pass and I’m like, where was I at again?!

    I then saw a solution…

    I know, I’ll turn it into a series on Forgetting Fairytales. That will be fun! It will keep me on track. Remind me to do it. Then came the second problem:
  2. I kept waiting for my life to be perfect. To be EXACTLY where I want to be, in every area of my life.

The thing is, no-one wants to read that! No-one wants to read about your PERFECT life, and this PERFECT place you’re in, with everything going perfectly frickin’ perfect. I mean, isn’t that what social media has become? Screeeeew that. It’s not real. It’s not relatable. And you know what, it’s just not me.

So all hell to perfection, and instead, here we have, my new not-so-secret diary.

What to expect?

Ramblings. Updates. Learnings. Thoughts. Feelings. That kinda stuff.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure if this is more for my benefit or yours. I mean, maybe I’ll get a regular readership for this section, maybe it will end up just being me and my Mum. (Dad, I know you love me, but let’s be fair – you never read my stuff!)

Anyhow… who gives a damn? The way I see it, this will be pretty cool to look back on – to see how far I’ve come. AND, if I happen to touch anyone, in any way, in the process… well that’s just an added bonus, right?

Where Am I Currently At?

Well, all considering – I’m in a pretty great place. I guess this would be a good time to share my instagram post actually. See, I was originally planning on pulling together a load of photos from the year… because despite it being a covid year, I’d still built up quite the collection. The thing is, as New Year’s Eve got closer and closer, it began to feel like a CHORE.

I felt like I was doing it for show. Like… look at me… look at how much fun I’ve had. Well, no. I have nothing to prove and I don’t like stuff like that. I will go through my photos at some point, and maybe I’ll share them. Again, it’s nice to look back on right? But I’m certainly not going to do it because I feel like I have to, or because I want to look a certain way. So that’s on hold for a little while. Instead, I shared a simple selfie. And this was the caption:

Well, 2020, what a year that was. And where do I even start?!

I went into it partying like I was a Uni student, unsure of what I really wanted to do or who I actually was, yet came out of it a strong, hella confident, better version of myself.

I bought my first property, closed my last company (after running it for over 5 years!), I launched a blog (which has now grown to 50K monthly readers, becoming my first passive income stream) and took a risk setting up a new company Chapter One Dating which – so far – is seriously paying off. (Thank God for that!)

I’m now genuinely spending my life doing the things that I LOVE. As cliched as it may sound, work doesn’t even feel like work anymore because I’m just so incredibly passionate what I do. I can now confidently say that I earn a living, helping others to not only learn to love themselves, but also then find the love they really want and deserve… which is something I would have once only DREAMED of!

And yes – there’s been some REAL rough times through all of this. Emotionally. Mentally. And of course, financially. At one point I was earning just 25% of what I was before, with no savings after the recent investment and no government support (uh huh, if you’ve had such a thing as furlough – seriously think yourself lucky because I didn’t fall into a single category for that!) So it has been hard. But all of the challenges this year, they’ve only strengthened me and inspired positive change in the right direction.

See Also
Lockdown Virtual Dating

Through all of this, the biggest breakthrough I’ve had this year however, has certainly been in myself. Despite COVID, despite everything that’s been thrown at me, I feel like I’ve reached the point where I truly know what happiness feels like… happiness not because of moments or circumstances or even necessarily people… but instead, happiness in myself. And that’s the biggest thing that I will take away.

Normal-life may not be returning immediately. There’s no quick-fix and maybe today isn’t the fresh start we may have hoped for. But it is the first blank page in a brand new 365 page book. We can’t control the things that happen around us, we can’t get COVID to magically disappear and let us start living the way we want to again, but we can control how we choose to use this time, how we respond and what we focus on.

You can still make 2021 everything that it can be. You are not powerless.

So start today off the right way. Ask yourself, what do I want to do differently this year? What do I want to change? What do I want to work on? Where do I want to be by this time next year? Then do ONE THING today to make that first small step. Happy New Year guys! 🤍 🥂 

So that’s me. That’s where I’m at.

I’m not too sure how to sign this. Do I still sign it as myself, or, what?

Oh, never mind… until next time My Readers / My Future Self.

Love,
Ell_xx

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