How do you know if your boyfriend is loyal? Can you test your boyfriends loyalty, and do so in a way that doesn’t come across as totally insane?! Well, actually – yes, you can. See, there are questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, and these can be the perfect route to go down.
After all, then you’re simply having a conversation about it… But what questions can you ask to test a man’s loyalty? And what sort of responses are you looking for?
Well, here’s 20 questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, plus – what different answers mean and how to go about it all in the best way.
Sounds good? Awesome. Then, let’s start from the top, shall we?
Why Do You Want To Test Your Boyfriends Loyalty?
So first off, before we get stuck into these questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, I think it’s important we establish why you want to test your boyfriends loyalty and if you’re doing this for the right reason.
Did you recognise the signs he has a crush on another woman, and so are making sure he won’t act on these feelings? Or perhaps you’ve always struggled to feel secure in a relationship and so it’s more for peace of mind?
See, ultimately, you should be “testing” your boyfriends loyalty because you want to strengthen your relationship, re-confirm what you already believe and make sure you’re both on the same page about what loyalty means and looks like to the two of you.
You’re not doing it because of a lack of trust, or because you’re doubting your partner as such. Your partner also shouldn’t have anything to “prove”. It’s more of a “test” for the both of you, to show how aligned you are.
You see? It’s really important you see it that way, otherwise you’re going to go into these questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, all wrong.
How To Ask Your Boyfriend Questions That Test His Loyalty
See, just like you probably will have when asking these questions to test your boyfriends love, when it comes to how to ask your boyfriend questions that test his loyalty, you want to:
1) Pick Your Timing
If you’re going to ask your boyfriend these kind of questions, you DON’T want to ask them post-argument, or when he’s tired or busy.
You won’t get the time, attention, focus or “seriousness” that the conversation deserves.
Instead, ask them when the two of you are good, and getting on. Ask them when you’re at home, chilling, or having a “heart to heart” conversation.
Or, ask them when you’re already having a serious conversation, asking other deep questions as these will then flow on nicely from there.
2) Don’t Ask Them All In One Go
To avoid an “integration” feel, try not to get this list out, reading it down, one by one. No, no, no!
In fact, if you can hide the fact you’ve been researching questions you can ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, really try to. After all, it could be misinterpreted in the wrong way.
Instead, ask some of the questions as more of a casual discussion.
This doesn’t mean that it can’t get deep, but you’re going about it from a, “this will be interesting to see” stand-point as opposed to, “okay, I need to know this and this and this and this…”
Remember, you may not be able to ask all of the questions in one go – but that’s okay. Pick the ones that are most important to you and tie in the closest together and start with those…
Then see how far the conversation goes and bring up the other questions on another occasion if you need.
You can push it further and longer by sharing your answers to the questions too, and this is an important note actually.
You want to answer your own questions as much as your boyfriend does. It should be a two-way thing… A discussion, remember?
After all, that’s how it then turns from simply “questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty”… to “a conversation about loyalty to ensure you’re both on the same page.”
That’s how you then get the most out of it!
3) Listen To The Answers
If you’re looking for questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty – automatically – that doesn’t always put you in the best frame of mind.
It’s the whole “test” idea that creates this. After all, if you see it as a “test”, you’re most likely to have a “right” or “wrong” answer in your mind. But this is the biggest mistake you can make.
Don’t make judgements. Don’t have expectations. And try not to be disappointed if your boyfriend doesn’t say the EXACT THING you wanted him to, or the exact thing that you would say.
Everyone’s different, remember? So instead, ask these questions, be open-minded, really hear what he’s saying and try to understand it. Try to understand him.
See, you may have slightly different views when it comes to loyalty, but the most important thing is why the two of you have these views and whether – fundamentally – your morals still align. For example…
Understanding Your Boyfriend’s Answers
So, let’s work off the basis that being loyal to someone in a faithful relationship requires avoiding cheating and being loyal in the way you speak about your partner to others…
Let’s say your boyfriend was talking about an action that he didn’t think was disloyal, but which you did…
Maybe he thinks it’s okay for men to “moan” about their partners to their friends, but to you – that’s disrespectful and disloyal. It hurts.
The thing is – is he saying that he would only ever complain about the bad, and not ever state the good? Is he saying that he wouldn’t ever admit when he, himself, is in the wrong too?
And isn’t it important that he can get things off his chest, and confide in his close circle in order to better process situations and work through them?
Would it necessarily mean that he was being disrespectful? Could you possibly be jumping to the “worst-case” scenario? And is there a deeper reason why this doesn’t sit right with you?
See, whenever you don’t agree with something – ask more questions to better understand WHERE this view is coming from, and if you can then start to see it more from this viewpoint.
You also want to understand your own viewpoints and whether they are 100% valid, where they’re coming from, and if there’s any leeway for movement on them.
See, when it comes to loyalty – you don’t want to compromise on what you want and deserve in a relationship. But you also want to make sure you’re being both rational and reasonable.
Do You Feel Like You Want To Ask or Need To Ask?
See there’s a question between wanting to test your boyfriend’s loyalty and feeling like you need to. If you feel like you need to – take a step back, reflect and see if this is the best way to go about it.
Make sure you know whether it will actually enhance your relationship to ask these questions at this moment in time, or if they’re being driven by something deeper – that you, yourself, should work through first.
20+ Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Test His Loyalty
So if you’re happy with all of that, let’s move onto these key questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, shall we?
Read it. Digest it. And start to memorise your favourite ones. You’re also likely to get idea for your own questions you want to ask from this. (And that’s a great sign!)
So in no particular order, here’s 20+ questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty…
Questions To Test Your Boyfriends Loyalty
1) How would you define loyalty? Both generally speaking, and the definition when it comes to loyalty in a relationship.
2) What does loyalty look like to you, in a relationship? How would you explain / describe it?
3) How important is loyalty to you, in a relationship? In what ways do you think it supports / strengthens relationships? And how much value do you put on it?
4) How important is it to you, that you remain loyal, as a person? (So this is aside how loyal your partner may act towards you; how important is it that you act loyal towards them, regardless?)
5) What would you class as being loyal in a relationship? (Discuss some examples.)
These can be both big things you’d do / expect in testing situations, plus little things that demonstrate loyalty in a relationship, every day.
Let’s Keep Them Coming…
6) What things do you think cross the boundaries of remaining loyal in a relationship?
7) How loyal do you think people are, as a whole, in relationships? And what do you think makes some people more loyal than others? Their values? Their upbringing? What factors come in?
(This is an especially good question to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, as once you know what he thinks influences it, you can then tie it back to what you know about him.)
8) What boundaries do you think are often crossed, by other people, in terms of being loyal in a relationship? And how could they see this as still remaining loyal vs. not being loyal?
(As everyone has different views as to what is and isn’t okay. Everyone has different relationship standards.)
9) What do you think is the most disloyal thing you’ve ever done? Both in a relationship and out of one. And how why did you do it? How did it make you feel?
(Make it clear there will be no judgements here. You also can’t hold these personal things against him when he starts to open up.)
10) Has anyone ever broken your trust by being disloyal? (Both in, and out of a relationship.) And how did that make your feel, or go on to affect you and your future relationships?
This is quite a deep question to ask your boyfriend but it brings you closer, builds trust and connects you further, as there will be far more relatability – or at the very least, understanding – from it.
Questions To Test Your Boyfriends Loyalty
When it comes to questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty, you may also like to ask things like:
11) What do you think is the core foundation of loyalty?
EG By definition, loyalty in a relationship is typically seen as having faithfulness, dedication, honesty, trust, and support.
But how would you personally see it? What do you think makes it up? And how “big” is each element? Plus, why?
12) From each of the key components of loyalty, what would you rate our levels of this in our relationship?
EG. How much trust do you think we have in our relationship? How much support do you think we give one another? And how honest do you think we are with each other? Etc.
Break each part down and discuss each one in more detail.
13) In which times / moments / stages of our relationship, do you think our loyalty has been tested the most?
14) How hard or easy, do you think it is to know how loyal a partner is in a relationship?
15) Have you ever doubted or questioned my loyalty towards you? Why? / Why not?
This can be a pretty tough relationship question, especially if you know the answer and know you may not like to hear it…
But tough relationship questions are important and it will help to air any final unresolved issues surrounding it.
Onto The Last Ones…
16) Would you find it difficult to tell me, if you broke my trust or loyalty? Or would you try to avoid telling me / not want me to find out?
If so – why? (Answering as honest as you can now, of course!)
17) In what ways do you think you can build trust and the trust that loyalty is there, in a relationship?
18) How can a person show their loyalty in a relationship?
19) Are there any ways in which you think a partner could act, to break that loyalty, which would be unforgivable? Just impossible to come back from?
20) Where do you think loyalty stands in our relationship? How do you think we’re standing with that?! Any things we’ve overcome? Or any things we still need to work on?
That’s All For This One
So there we have it – 20+ questions to ask your boyfriend to test his loyalty.
Has this started to get you thinking about the kind of conversations you can be having to build your trust in the loyalty that the two of you share? I hope so.
Remember – communication is key here, so if you’re really concerned, don’t be afraid to have a more open conversation about it.
(After all, there shouldn’t be anything for your boyfriend to get defensive about anyway!)
Looking for shorter, snappier questions? Then try these 100 (Serious!) Yes or No Questions For Couples. There’s some tricky but important ones in there too!
You’re doing the right thing, by continuing to work on your relationship… So keep at it, and be proud of it.
Hope this all helps. Good luck!