So Halloween is just around the corner, but it’s – unfortunately – not the only ghosts on the block. Ghosting still remains all too common when dating, which brings the question of why. I mean, why would a guy suddenly ghost you? What’s actually going on? Well in this post – we break down the 10 real reasons he’s ghosted you to give you the closure you need to let it go and move on.
Why Would a Guy Suddenly Ghost You?
Now before we get into it, I want to get straight to the point that, ghosting actually happens for all kinds of reasons. It’s impossible to know 100% for sure – like all things in life.
However, thankfully, why he’s ghosted you, usually boils down to some fundamental factors, which helps you to better narrow it down.
See, we can make up all of the stories and theories in our head for what’s going on, but ultimately, what it tends to be because of, is really quite simple…
Once you can recognise this and feel at peace with this, you free yourself from the pain and better deal with being ghosted – no matter how many times it may happen.
So what’s the root cause? Why would a guy suddenly ghost you? Well…
3 (Surprisingly Simple) Reasons He’s Ghosted You
When it comes to why he’s ghosted you, it’s going to be because of one (or multiple) of the following reasons:
1) He’s lost interest.
So first up, it’s the reason you probably don’t want to hear, but which is undoubtably – to whatever degree or for whatever reason – is true.
See, at the end of it all, as horrible as it sounds – he did lose interest in you, or give up on trying to pursue things with you.
He stopped speaking to you, he disappeared, he gave up, changed his mind, is gone.
Does it mean you’re not good enough? Absolutely not. Does that mean you’ve done something wrong? In most cases – no way!
Remember, people can lose interest for endless reasons. He could be doubting himself, he could be battling his own demons, he could have things holding him back and making him push you away.
He could just not want the same things as you, or have not gotten what he wanted from you. (In which case – praise the lord!)
Or, of course, it could also be that he’s just recognised things that aren’t right for him, in you.
But remember – if you’re not right for him, then he’s not right for you, it’s as simple as that. So although it’s hard without knowing the answers for sure, the only answer you really need – is he’s not your man. (And that’s okay!)
What To Remember From This:
It’s natural and normal for people to lose interest when dating. I’m sure you have plenty of times too. It’s not even rejection necessarily… Although rejection when dating is perfectly natural and normal too.
The sooner you accept that and stop fearing it, the sooner you’re able to let go of what you “hate” about dating and simply accept it for everything that it is, whilst appreciating – it’s just part of the process.
2) He just doesn’t share the same moral compass as you.
Everyone has different standards and expectations, both when it comes to dating and life. Ultimately, if a guy has ghosted you – he thinks that’s okay.
Does he necessarily think it’s right or fair? Maybe not.
But he’s comfortable enough to do it. It’s most likely not the first time he’s done it and it most likely won’t be the last.
What To Remember From This:
If you wouldn’t treat a person in this way, then it’s just shone a light on the fact that your morals don’t align and he’s therefore not the man for you anyway.
Recognising this, right now, is ultimately a blessing in disguise and a serious time-saver, so it’s not a loss, it’s your gain.
Just also remember – it’s no reflection on you and nothing to take personally.
He still didn’t need to do it. He could have dealt with it in a better way. But like I said – that’s a reflection on him, not you. (So don’t you forget it! Stop beating yourself up!)
3) He’s kind of weak..
Or at the very least, lacking the mental capacity for it right now.
To cut straight to the point, anyone who ghosts someone as opposed to being honest, open and respectful, is ultimately – weak.
Does that make him a bad person? No, not really. But he did take what was the easier way out for him, for whatever reason that may be.
This could be because he’s not ready or not emotionally mature enough. Maybe fear got in the way for him too. Or maybe he just needs to learn (and most people usually end up learning the hard way!) how to treat a woman right.
Whatever it is – it doesn’t matter. Just know that that weakness is ultimately on him.
What To Remember From This:
We all get things wrong from time to time, we don’t always make the right decisions. Dating is difficult and hey – maybe he IS taking the easy way out, but we don’t know why.
All we can hope is that he learns and grows.
There’s no point hating him for it, becoming resentful or wanting to make him regret ghosting you, as that only then negatively impacts YOU.
So see his actions for what they are – weak, and a little bit selfish – but give him the benefit of the doubt if you can and try to let it go.
BONUS: He Doesn’t See It That Way
I also want to throw in one of the final reasons he’s ghosted you, which is actually the simplest of them all.
See, just to throw it out there – it could be that actually doesn’t see it as ghosting! Everyone has different definitions, right? To him, he may have just thought:
- There wasn’t anything else left for him to reply.
- You hadn’t messaged any specific question.
- The two of you just both drifted apart and stopped speaking.
We see this happen far too often. You send a message and don’t get a reply and think he’s ghosted you. Or maybe you sent two (which hit even harder) but he was just busy at the time, and then forgot to follow up…
It’s all too common that people see things in different ways, so the final take-away from this is to try not to put a label on everything and simply focus your attention where you want to and where you’re noticing it is naturally and easily being reciprocated.
Final Thoughts To Leave You With
At the end of the day, you could waste hours searching for answers that – quite simply – you will never know for sure anyway.
So the key to gaining closure after being ghosted is to create your own peace.
I know it’s hard, I know it can feel exhausting and just down-right draining, but it won’t last forever.
Although every bad experience doesn’t necessarily take you closer to finding the man that you want and deserve – you choose how much power you will give each negative experience and whether you will allow it to taint you or your view.
You are strong, you are beautiful, you are resilient, and ghosting is never a reflection on you.
So hold your head up high, girl. Use these 3 surprisingly simple reasons he’s ghosted you to give you what you need to let it go, and keep pushing toward my friend.
Sending all my encouragement and support!
Love,
Ell_xx
