Want to get over your ex? Trying to go “no contact”? Find yourself wondering, “should I block my ex?” Well, let’s make the decision easier and clearer, by weighing up all the “what ifs” of blocking your ex after a breakup and – if it’s the right thing to do – exactly how to do it.
Should I Block My Ex?
So first off, how do you know you should block your ex? Well, let’s start with the signs you should block your ex. The key little indicators that it’s probably time…
- You find yourself constantly looking at their social media profile, or checking your phone for texts.
- You’re verging on “stalking” level, obsessing over what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re interacting with or if there’s anyone else on the scene.
- You drunk text or call them. Or vice versa, perhaps they do the same to you.
- Or, you just can’t stop speaking to them – even though you know it’s doing no good.
- Perhaps you don’t speak often but your ex sometimes reaches out, and this sets you back.
- Or maybe you’re just occasionally checking in on them / checking up on their profile – it’s not constant, but every time you do this, it kind of brings you down.
- If you’re still in love with your ex and are trying to get over them (even though it’s hard!) – that’s another sign you should block them.
I mean, let’s explore all of this further. If you’re wondering, “should I block my ex?”, it’s likely that some of the above points sound familiar. But what are the benefits of blocking an ex? What would it achieve?
Why Should I Block My Ex?
So, why should you block your ex after a breakup? Well, the two fundamental reasons are:
1) For Your Mental Wellbeing
The actual act of blocking your ex, may be difficult to do. And sure – maybe you’ll still have moments afterwards where you want to reach back out, you want to unblock them. But overall, it’s very freeing.
After a breakup, it’s easy to feel torn, to go back and forth. When you miss your ex, you’ll also want to speak to them, you’ll often find reasons to try to speak to them. You’ll go over the same things, keep trying, not be able to fully let go. It makes it more difficult.
Even if you’re not speaking – just having them there – it’s a reminder. And yes, just blocking your ex won’t automatically block them from your mind. But it takes the OPTION away.
You can’t keep tabs on them. You can’t speak to them. And so gradually, you start to accept and readjust – instead of caving, doing the things you know don’t really help, and putting yourself through added turmoil.
It makes it far easier on you mentally. You just have to get through that first initial stage of taking the action to block them.
2) It Helps With Acceptance
When you block your ex – you’re making a statement. To yourself and to them. You’re closing the door, closing the chapter. It adds more finality to the breakup, which therefore also helps with acceptance.
And I know what you may be thinking… hold up, hold up, I’m not ready for that! But maybe that’s all the more reason to do it – maybe it’s just what you need, to MAKE yourself come to terms with it.
By blocking them, you stop yourself – or them – from going back on the decision. It’s over, it’s done. And it makes you both better stick to it.
Is It Immature to Block Someone After a Breakup?
A big deliberation when weighing up, “should I block my ex”, is whether it’s immature – whether it’s the right thing. The truth is, blocking your ex is not a behaviour as such, it’s an action, as a result of the situation.
What do you do when you have dirty laundry? You put it in the wash. What do you when you have some of your ex’s stuff? You return it. So similarly, what do you do when you’ve broken up with someone? You block them. Not EVERYONE does it (and that’s why the question arises) but it’s common enough to be a natural response.
See it’s what makes breakups that little bit easier. It’s “standard practice”, and works hand in hand with no-contact. You wouldn’t do it if you didn’t need to. You’re only doing it because your ex is now out of your life and you’re no longer together.
You need to get over them, and constant reminders of them don’t help with that. So – no, blocking someone after a breakup is not immature. Not at all. It’s just part of the process, for many people anyway.
Won’t It Look Bad?
Bad how? Like you’re not over your ex? Like they’re getting to you more than you want them to know? You’re finding it more difficult than them? Well, no, not really. Blocking your ex is a pretty common thing and so there doesn’t have to be any assumptions to that alone, about what it means.
Also, who cares what your ex or anyone else thinks? You have to do whats best for you, what makes this the easiest to get through. That’s the most important thing. How you look is actually irrelevant.
At the end of the day, the two of you are no longer together. So forget about your pride or ego and do whatever you need to do to get you through. This is going to work in your favour. It’s the smart thing to do.
Worried about upsetting your ex? About how they’ll take it? Well, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Breakups are tough, on both sides. But blocking your ex not only helps you, but also them – whether they want it to happen or realise it right now, or not.
When Shouldn’t You Block Your Ex?
Are there any situations when you SHOULDN’T block your ex? Well:
- If you’re actively trying to get back with them. It’s a no brainer, huh? However if you’re currently in this place right now, I highly recommend reading this article: “Should I Get Back With My Ex?” as it will help you to determine if it’s actually the right thing.
- If there’s no hard feelings or real need. If the breakup was civil, there’s less need to block your ex. That doesn’t mean you still need to be speaking to them. It’s also usually a good idea to at least unfriend them on social media (this avoids any complications when one of you starts to move on.) But as for full-on blocking them, you probably don’t need to go that far.
Is It Better To Block or Delete Your Ex?
So what’s the difference between blocking or deleting your ex? Well, let’s look at both sides…
If You Delete Your Ex’s Number (Instead of Blocking)
If you delete your ex’s number, yes – you may not be able to contact them, but you’ll know that they could still contact you. When you know this, you can still check to see if they’ve reached out.
You’ll think about them. You’ll wonder why they haven’t messaged, and it can hurt a little.
You’re also giving them the opportunity to still get back in touch, and if they do that – it defeats all of the benefits of blocking them.
So on that note, if you don’t want to hear from them or wonder if you’re going to hear from them – it’s better to block their number rather than just delete it.
The only time you’d really delete it instead of blocking it, is if there was no bad blood and you knew that neither of you would really be reaching out again… or if you did for any reason, it wouldn’t affect how you feel or what you do. You’re still getting on with your life happily!
If You Delete Your Ex On Social Media (Instead of Blocking)
If you delete your ex on social media instead of blocking, again, not only can they contact you – but you can still contact them. This is therefore NOT a good idea if you’re trying to get over them, and you really need that extra barrier if you’re struggling with no contact.
If you simply unfriend your ex on social media – well – it depends on their privacy settings. If they have a private account on Instagram – you won’t be able to see anything but their profile picture and bio. This isn’t too harmful. However, if they have a public account and you simply unfollow, you’ll still be able to see EVERYTHING which means stalkers galore!
Remember: if you view someones story on Instagram, they can see that you’ve viewed it (just as a heads up!) I get so many not-so-subtle stalker ex’s and I feel like saying, come on… at least up your game!
With platforms like Facebook then, unfriending your ex on there will reduce what you can see (unless again, they share all their posts publicly), however you’ll still be able to see key information changes, and you’re still likely to have the temptation to view their profile… just in case there’s anything new on there that you can see.
This is why, in summary – blocking is always best over deleting. It’s simpler, makes it easier for you, and fully wipes away the temptation. Yes, you could still unblock. But you’re less likely to as you then can’t block again for 48 hours and it’s more effort to go to.
Should I Tell My Ex I’m Going To Block Them?
So by now, I’m hoping you’re starting to see that, “YES! I SHOULD block my ex!” Then comes the question perhaps of, “should I tell my ex I’m going to block them?”
Well, if you’re still currently speaking, it doesn’t do any harm to tell them. Otherwise you’re essentially ghosting them which is a little mean. Just explain that you think you need to stop speaking now, and so you’re blocking them to make it easier for the both of you.
If you’re NOT speaking, or haven’t spoken for a while, then you don’t need to pop back up again to give them an explanation. That would be like you’re trying to get them to try to stop you.
Instead, simply know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it… and do it. No looking back. They may notice at some point, they may not. But like we said, as blocking an ex is a common thing – they won’t think too much of it, other than realising that yep, it really is over, and you’ve come to terms with that now too.
Should I Block My Ex On Everything?
Wondering how far you should go? If you should block your ex on everything? All socials, AND their number? Well, the answer here is pretty simple… Yes. Why not?
You know why you’re blocking your ex. You may as well do the full job, and do it all in one go.
If stalking is an issue – but there’s no temptation to reach out, then blocking your ex on social media may be sufficient. But if you’re not speaking to them anyway, there’s really no harm in going all out and blocking their number too. And likewise the other way around.
Essentially, if you’ve reached the point where you need to block your ex, you may as well block them on everything.
When Should I Block My Ex?
When should you block your ex? Right away, right away. The sooner the better. It’s in the early days where you’re the most vulnerable, and where things are the most difficult. So don’t struggle and THEN do it.
Blocking your ex is predominantly to get you over them. As time goes on, there’s less need to block them. You won’t feel anything, you won’t do anything and so there’s less need to have them blocked. It’s nearer the start, or when everything is more raw, that you most likely need to do it.
Of course, if it’s been weeks, months or even years, and you’re still checking in or letting them play on your mind, it is A-O-kay to do it then too. There’s no rules or such. Just if you notice the signs you need to block them, like we spoke about above – do it. And don’t delay!
How Long Should I Block My Ex?
Last but not least then, how long should you block you ex? Well, there’s no set time-frame. Keep them blocked as long as you need, and as long as you stop caring.
As time goes on, you’re likely to forget that they’re blocked anyway – they’ll barely cross your mind.
Just don’t rush to unblock them. Don’t wait to unblock them. And don’t unblock them too soon. You don’t need to kid yourself – then waiting for an excuse to reach back out.
Instead, you need to allow yourself to fully heal. Having them blocked? It’s not a big deal. Keep it that way for the rest of your life if you like. So don’t worry about the “when” part now. Just do what you need to do.
Should I Block My Ex?
So there we have it. Hopefully that helps to answer, “should I block my ex”, plus the when, why and how part. Struggling to do it? Something holding you back? Talk it through with me. Don’t be a stranger.
I’m here for you. I’ll help to get you through this. And I genuinely care.