So you’re actively dating. You want to find the right person, are ready to settle down. But how do you know when someones on the same page, in the same place as you? What are the key signs he wants something serious? The key signs he wants a relationship? And is actually ready for it? Well my friends, let’s take a look…
10 Signs He Wants Something Serious
Here’s 10 of the key signs he wants something serious. If you notice these with the guy you’re dating, you know there’s some great potential for things to progress (if it’s right of course!)
1) He Tells You
So to kick of the key signs he wants something serious, I figured we should start with the easiest way to know… and that is, if he tells you. In fact…
If he volunteers this information or asks you what you’re looking for – that’s even better.
It shows he’s thinking about it. It shows he cares where you’re at, and therefore better indicates where he is at – genuinely.
After all, it’s easy to say “I’m looking for a relationship, I want to meet the right person”, but don’t many guys know “all the right things to say”?!
This means that just because he says it, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true – that’s why we want to look at the other signs with it…
However, it’s certainly a good starting point, especially if he says it confidently, without any doubt. Remember: if he says he’s not ready for a relationship or is looking for something casual: believe him.
It wouldn’t work in his favour to lie on that one. So if he’s “not sure” what he wants, or says he’s “not ready” just yet, then trust me, there’s no point trying to convince him otherwise!
2) He Acts Like It
Words mean nothing unless backed up by words. So one of the biggest signs he wants something serious, is when he not only tells you, but backs that up by the way he behaves.
This means he’s upfront and honest with you, he doesn’t mess you around, he doesn’t flake out, bail on you or let you down. He’s consistent. He’s reliable. I honestly can’t stress this enough.
He also makes you feel like you can be yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. This is because he wants to get to know you. The real you… Because that’s how you form a deeper bond and connection, and know what is or isn’t there.
He also wants to put the right foundations in right from the start – because he knows where he wants this to go (providing the two of you are the right fit of course!) This leads me onto my next point…
3) He Invests Time In Getting To Know You
You don’t just feel like an option, but a priority. He takes the time to respond to your messages properly, he chats to you on the phone, makes time to see you.
You feel important. You can tell he’s interested. It’s all just so much clearer and easier… and that’s what happens when you meet someone who’s on the same page as you, in the same sort of place.
4) He Makes An Effort With Dates
He doesn’t just take the easy option. He wants to impress you. He wants this to go somewhere. And so he takes his dates pretty seriously!
There will be no “Netflix and chill” – well, not unless it’s after a night of drinks and dancing, and it is to genuinely just chill!
Instead, there’s time, effort and thought put into the dates – especially as he gets to know you more. They’re special, usually a little different.
He wants to take you nice places, do different things, make actual memories with you.
5) He Knows What He Wants
He’s ready to settle down, he’s spent some time thinking about this, and so he knows what he wants. At the same time, he also knows what he doesn’t want…
But this doesn’t mean that at the first time of “trouble” or conflict between the two of you, he runs. No way!
Because that’s the thing – if he genuinely wants something serious, he knows that no person not relationship is perfect, and so he’s willing to work through things.
He’s mature, able to communicate. It makes the world of difference!
6) He’s Been Single A While
If he really wants something serious and is ready for something serious, the chances are, he’ll have been single for a little while.
If he’s just come out of a relationship, yet says he’s ready for a new one – there’s a good chance that he could be wanting it for the wrong reasons… is afraid to be on his own, is looking to fill a void.
And he may not admit that, but the length of time that a person’s been single does – unfortunately – play into it. So this is certainly something that shouldn’t be ignored.
How Do You Know If He’s Ready For Something Serious?
There’s a difference between if he wants something serious and is ready for something serious, and ultimately that comes down to time and maturity.
Like we said above, if a person hasn’t been single for very long – particularly if they came out of a long-term relationship – they need that time on their own to reflect, recharge and rebuild themselves… even if they don’t want to admit it and would rather “just get back out there!”
I also want to raise the point of emotional maturity, because it’s easy to say you’re ready for something serious – but if they’re not able to communicate, to commit, to deal with conflict (as mentioned above), you aren’t actually in the right place for a healthy, happy and long-lasting relationship.
It’s therefore important to figure this out when “qualifying” your dates and matches. [Click here for how to qualify effectively.] What’s their relationship history like? What are their relationship standards? What past experiences have they had? How do they seem to deal with things?
7) He Tells You How He Feels
Another major sign he wants something serious is if he’s not afraid to tell you how he feels. See, he’s done with games.
Yes, falling for someone can make you feel vulnerable. He could well still have these fears. But if he likes you – he likes you, and he will tell you because he knows it’s important.
And again, this comes back to not just wanting something serious, but being ready for it and willing to do the things you have to do to enable it to progress… like opening up, putting yourself “out there” a little bit!
At the same time, timing is important. If it’s too much too soon, it could mean he’s trying to force it, or is not being totally genuine. This leads me onto my next point…
8) There’s No Signs Of Love Bombing
This is something that you really need to be aware of and look out for when dating.
See, you might think that one of the signs he wants something serious is if he acts like it. He tells you, he shows you, there’s effort, some sort of early commitment… but love bombing is when it’s TOO MUCH, TOO SOON.
It’s almost like it’s too good to be true, and usually, it is. Fairytales don’t exist, remember. Not how we picture them anyway and it’s unhealthy to get swept away or start fantasising. It takes you out of reality.
Your love story is more likely to be genuine and long-lasting when it progresses at the right pace. And love-bombing speeds everything up so that it then just crashes and burns.
A love bomber is never actually ready for something serious (even if they tell you that’s what they’re looking for) so this is a massive thing to look out for… and a great sign if it’s not happening to you. Slow and steady wins when it comes to love, every time!
9) He’s Not Afraid To Talk About The Future
And hold up, hold up, this doesn’t mean that he’s mapped out the next 20 years of your life with a house, kids, the lot! No, that would go into love-bombing territory, trying to make you daydream about that!
But one of the signs he wants something serious, is that he can see it going somewhere and he’s not afraid to show it… mostly because he wants to gage how you feel too!
So that may be talking about if you were to meet each others family (not planning it as such, but talking theoretically about if you’d get on!) He may also suggest a trip away for the two of you for somewhere… somewhere you both really want to go.
See, it doesn’t feel scary or “risky” to make plans and have things to look forward to when you reach a certain level with this guy, because you know he is in the right place and he does know what he wants.
10) He’s Not Afraid To Make It Exclusive
Not because it HAS to work out or he’s putting pressure on that – but because he wants to at least give it a proper shot with you.
That’s the best way to see if it does or doesn’t work with a person as you can’t really date a person with intention whilst still dating others heavily…
So once you’ve had a few dates and can see there’s potential, it’s better to date, see, then make up your mind as to whether this person is someone there’s a real future with or not.
If he’s doing that with you, if he wants to see where it goes and he’s not afraid of ditching the apps or forgetting about all the endless options to properly “pursue” things with you, it’s certainly a big sign he wants something serious and hopes it will go that way with you!
Just don’t push for this one… it has to come from him, not you! Or if you broach the topic with him and he’s unsure, you then have your answer. Never try to convince!
Does He Want Something Serious?
So there we have it! Some of the key signs he wants something serious. What’s the verdict? What do you think? If you’re still unsure – go slow, take the time to get to know him better.
Also see if he can “keep up” the effort. If he can remain consistent in the way he acts – because that is key.
Either way, trust that it will always work out the way it’s meant to, and you will soon find the person who’s right for you. I promise!
So good luck. Keep at it. And if you have any dating dilemmas you need a little personal help with, please don’t hesitate to give me a shout.
All the best!