Is he losing interest? Does he still feel the same way? Or is it just your fears and insecurities playing tricks on you? Whether you’re dating, “seeing” someone, or in a relationship, here’s the key signs he’s losing interest – for real – and, how to address it.
10 Signs He’s Losing Interest
So when it comes to if he’s losing interest, the most important thing to look at is a change in behaviour.
- Is he acting differently to how he used to?
- Does he seem different towards you?
- And in what ways?
See, all relationships change and evolve as they grow. People become comfortable. The things someone does at the start, they may not always keep up to the same intensity as things start to settle in.
Of course if you’re in a relationship, you have a little more security. If you’re dating – interest shouldn’t really be lost so early on.
But as a whole, if you want to know if he’s losing interest – look for that change.
To help you pin point that a little easier, here’s 10 key signs he’s losing interest. Have a read and see how many ring true for you…
1) He’s Not as Responsive
First up, if he’s losing interest you’ll find he’s not as responsive. He makes less effort to speak to you, and when speaking to you.
If you’re texting, you’ll probably find that he replies slower, sends shorter answers, seems “off”, leaves you on read perhaps. You’ll also find that it’s always you texting him first – the relationship is becoming one-sided, with you carrying it far more than him.
If you’re together in person, you may find that he seems distracted, would happily sit there in silence, – again – gives you pretty short replies, and doesn’t make much conversation at all.
Perhaps he’s moody or snappy. (Here’s what to do if that’s the case.)
Overall however, you just feel that speaking to him seems like hard work – strained almost. It’s like he’s become a shell of who he was, and you can’t seem to get through.
NOTE: Getting frustrated won’t help. Stay calm. Don’t lash out or have a go at him. Demanding more won’t make you get it. If anything, it will only push him further away.
2) He Lets You Down
Another key sign he’s losing interest is if he starts letting you down more.
Where he’d once make plans, show up when he said he would and seem to actually want to spend time with you – now, it’s a completely different story.
He’s likely to bail on dates, cancel plans last minute – and often, doesn’t even care to rearrange. There’s always excuses instead of apologies and a real lack of care.
Or maybe you’re in a relationship, and you’re noticing you’re spending far less time together.
He’s become flakey or inconsistent… And you reach the point where you feel like you can’t even get excited for anything anymore, because you just don’t trust that he will be there.
3) He Stops Planning
So we said he stops making plans with you – anything you do, now seems to come from you. He doesn’t seem to plan anything anymore, he doesn’t make the effort, but what you’ll also find – is he stops talking about the future too.
A friends wedding he has coming up? There’s no mention of the two of you going. That once-in-a-lifetime-trip you spoke about doing? He’ll make excuses or delay looking at it.
This is because, in many cases, he’s unsure if you’ll still be together then (as much as that hurts to hear!)
4) He’s Not as Affectionate
If he’s losing interest, he’s also likely to be less affectionate. I mean, who wants to cuddle up to someone they’re not “feeling it” for anymore?
His feelings are changing and so consequently, the way he acts around you is too. He can’t force it, and you can tell.
On the flip side, it could be that he is still physically intimate with you – but that’s it, there’s nothing else there. There seems to be a lack of feeling, a lack of emotion.
Even when you’re physically close, you don’t feel that closeness anymore.
5) He’s Argumentative
We’re half way through now, so it’s time for a big one! See, if he’s losing interest, you’ll start to notice he’s more argumentative. He picks fights, can be snappy, or rude perhaps even.
Maybe it’s little digs you notice. He’s testing you, pushing you. He almost WANTS you to retaliate and for things to blow up, because – actually – whether he fully realises it or not, he’s not quite feeling the same way.
It could also be that the way he sees you has started to change – not for any fault of your own necessary. And so he starts to treat you differently, speak to you differently, disrespects you a little in some ways.
Either way, the dynamics have changed, and if you don’t stand your ground – there’s going to be an unhealthy power dynamic developing… One that won’t work, no matter what stage you’re in.
6) He Doesn’t Care How You Feel
Another of the key signs he’s losing interest, is if he’s not only argumentative – but he doesn’t care how you feel. Or if he does, he doesn’t care enough to show it.
He knows he’s not treating you right, or is behaving unreasonably and unfairly, but he can’t seem to stop it. Maybe be apologises, maybe he doesn’t. But the worst part is the lack of change. It keeps on happening, until the relationship just becomes toxic.
This can happen in the dating stage too. See the truth is, he’s frustrated. He’s unsure what to do. He’s not ready to let go, but he doesn’t quite feel the same way.
And so he’s taking it out on you – but is still stuck in his own head and not really thinking of you. It’s turning him into a pretty rotten person – not the person you first started falling for that’s for sure.
You’ll also notice that if you raise things with him, if you tell him how you feel – he won’t really listen. Maybe he’ll snap, get defensive, say he “can’t deal with this.”
He’ll shut you down instead of taking your points on board and doing something about it.
Everything’s about him right now and he doesn’t care about the consequences of his behaviour. That’s when you know – deep down – he’s losing interest and no longer feels the same way.
7) He Goes Behind Your Back
Now here’s a real hitter, but if he’s losing interest, it could also be that he starts doing things he shouldn’t be.
So let’s say you’re dating, you moved things through to exclusivity, but he’s feeling unsure so he starts going back on dating apps.
Or maybe you’re in a relationship, he’s having doubts, he’s losing interest and so he starts speaking to other people behind your back.
You won’t know for sure, in many of these cases, of course. But you may start to notice he’s on his phone more, he’s checking out other people when you’re out and about, maybe he’s openly flirting with others, and it’s all starting to add up.
8) He’s Vague & Indecisive
He’s also likely to keep his life more to himself (whether he’s doing something “wrong” or not.)
For instance – if you ask him what he’s going to be doing later in the day, he’s unsure. If you ask him whether he wants to go out, he’s not sure he’ll have time. Whereas this wasn’t the kind of response you’d get before!
He’s become far more indecisive – largely because he just doesn’t know how he feels. This is also why you’ll find him changing his mind, backing out of plans, letting you down.
He no longer takes you into consideration – in many different ways. It’s all about him now. You’re not as much of a priority.
You might also notice that he rarely ever shares his plans with you anymore either. He’s no longer open, excitable. When you ask him something, his responses are vague and maybe it feels like you’re pulling teeth every time you try to get an answer out of him.
You’re not checking up on him, you’re just making conversation, but even that starts to become more difficult if he’s losing interest pretty rapidly.
9) He’s Become Distant
Overall, if he’s losing interest in you, you’ll notice he becomes more distant. That’s one of the biggest signs he’s losing interest.
You don’t spend as much time together, or when you do – you’re together but not really together. He’s disengaged, there but not really there: not fully present.
He’s not asking you many questions, he’s not taking as much interest in you.
When you’re apart, you also don’t speak as much. You feel like you’re literally growing apart. He’s pulling back from you, and you can feel it.
The relationship (no matter what stage) is starting to stagnate or move backwards, and as much as you try to bring it back – it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
10) You Just Feel It In Your Gut
Some of these signs are pretty strong – pretty intense. They’re also very specific.
It could be however, that you feel like he’s losing interest, because lots of little things are adding up. You can’t pinpoint it with one major sign. And that goes back to gut feeling.
Where does this gut feeling come from? Usually lots of little changes in behaviour. Things feel “off”, things are just different. And that’s why you start to have your concerns.
Is He Losing Interest?
So there’s some of the key signs he’s losing interest – the warning signs to look out for. But what does it mean? Is he losing interest? Is that definitely it? Or could other things come into it?
Well actually – yes. Many of these signs could also be down to stress, or something else on his mind. (Bar the going behind your back or shifty behaviour! – Although that could also be you seeing things that aren’t there.)
Just remember, men and women are naturally wired differently. The way men deal with things is different to women. Click here to understand that more.
So although you may be taking all of this carefully – try not to jump to conclusions straight away. Yes, he could be losing interest. But it could also be something completely unrelated.
So see how long it lasts and see what other indications there are, before making a judgement.
What To Do If He’s Losing Interest
If you feel like he’s losing interest, the solution is simple -talk to him. Don’t whine or moan. Don’t carry on at him or make it about you. Just speak to him calmly, say it straight…
“Babe, are you okay? Are we okay? It’s just I’ve noticed you’ve not quite been yourself recently. You can talk to me, you know? About anything…”
Communication is everything. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to say this at ANY LITTLE THING! But monitor it. Make a note of any behaviour change and how long it persists, and then raise the issue if and when needed.
In the meantime, try not to smother him and certainly don’t chase. Keep being yourself, keep being the best partner (or date) that you can be – but take a step back if you need. Focus on yourself more, to try not to take his change in behaviour personally.
Only time will tell if he’s losing interest, why he’s losing interest and what will happen from here. There’s always going to be things out of your control. But remember:
The right person will love you for you, and will always stay.
So stay calm, trust the process and give things a little time to see how things pan out.
That’s all for this one. Hope it helps. Good luck!