Want to know how to spot the signs of a fake friendship? Wondering if your friend is actually being genuine and true, or just using you? Then you’ve come to the right place! Here’s 17 signs of a fake friend, plus – what to do.
How Do You Know If Your Friends Are Real or Fake?
See, before we get into it, it’s worth noting that – just like when dating – being able to spot fake friends from genuine ones, can take time.
It’s useful to try to not jump to conclusions or have your guard up and expect the worst.
After all, people act differently for different reasons. It’s hard to make friends as an adult, and not everything is always black and white.
Ultimately, the most important thing to consider is:
- How do they make me feel?
- How does the friendship as a whole, make me feel?
- Is this what I want or need in my life?
- What is my gut telling me?
At the end of the day, people usually show their true colours eventually, and you’ll soon start to see if the two of you align.
In the meantime, you can use the signs of a fake friendship to help you better gage the situation and try to determine where you’re at and how you feel.
Should you keep putting the same amount of time and effort in? Is this healthy, real and right? These signs will help you to find out…
17 Signs Of a Fake Friendship
So let’s jump in shall we? In no particular order, here’s 17 signs of a fake friendship…
Remember – one or two of these signs on their own, generally don’t mean a great deal.
It’s more an accumulation of the signs where you’ll start to see a bigger, more accurate picture of where the friendship really stands.
1) The friendship feels one-sided.
It’s always YOU putting in the effort, going out of your way for them, making plans, checking in on them. Similarly…
2) They only ever talk about themselves.
Just like the friendship, the conversation is never equal either. They dominate it, without really seeming to care too much about you.
3) They don’t seem to have much emotion around you.
If your friend seems disconnected or distracted when you’re talking about the things that truly matter to you, if they show little care or compassion about what’s going on in your world and the ups and downs that you will inevitably have – then it’s another of the key signs of a fake friendship.
4) They don’t make you feel good.
Like we mentioned above – one of the clearest signs of a fake friendship is if – when you’re around them – they don’t make you feel good. It’s a major red flag and something you shouldn’t ignore!
This may be because of specific things they do, or small things you can’t quite put your finger on, but it’s your alarm bells ringing that something’s not quite right.
Remember – true friends you will naturally feel relaxed and comfortable around. Try to break this one down deeper to better understand what it is…
5) Their smile doesn’t seem to reach their eyes.
Now, let’s say good things are happening in your life. Do they seem reluctant to ask about it? Do they smile and say all the right things, but it doesn’t seem genuine or true?
Then it’s another of the signs of a fake friendship. Notice the body language. Notice the warmth (or lack of!) and don’t overlook it, my friends…
6) They let you down.
Do they miss the important moments in your life? Do they bail or plans, let you down or disappoint you? Then it could be because the friendship is fake.
They’re not showing up how they should, and there’s only so many times you can make excuses for them or justify the way they behave.
The truth is – they’re there when it suits them, they’re there on their terms, for their reasons. But you’re worth far more than that…
7) They only seem to do what they want, when it suits them.
Do you find you’re always working around them and their plans? Filling their free time? Or doing what they want to do?
Then it’s another of the signs of a fake friendship and they could most likely be using you.
After all, everyone’s busy. Everyone’s got a lot going on (in most cases.) But they should also find time for you and care about you if they value them. Not everything should be solely on their terms.
8) They b*ch about others… A lot.
One of the subtle signs of a fake friendship (or potentially fake one, anyway), is if you notice they b*tch about others a lot – particularly others they see a lot, or should supposedly be relatively close to.
It’s like the old saying goes – if they’re doing it to others, they very well could be doing it to you, too.
9) They exclude you from things with mutual friends.
They can have their own life, they can do things without you. It’s not about that, or that you’re being unreasonable.
But if they’re purposely leaving you out of excluding you when you wouldn’t do the same to them – it shows a clear difference in standards and that a potential fake friendship could well be there.
10) Despite your friendship, you still feel alone.
Another of the major signs of a fake friendship is if you’re friends, and yet you still feel alone. Friendships shouldn’t feel like that. Trust me.
And so it should be one of the biggest signs that you need to start taking action to form genuine friendships – whether that’s deepening your bond with them, or recognising it’s just a fake, toxic friendship and putting your time and energy elsewhere.
11) They betray you.
Ever noticed someone break your trust? Share something with others that you shared in confidence to them? Or behave in a way that’s disloyal and which you wouldn’t think a true friend would?
Then my friends, it’s absolutely one of the signs of a fake friendship and you certainly shouldn’t tolerate it.
12) They make fun of you in front of others.
See, there’s banter and there’s just downright being mean. But if your friend is regularly making you the butt of the joke in front of others, it could well reveal not only their true colours, but how they feel towards you.
Just remember – jealousy SO often comes into play, and you have to consider why they feel the need to do it… (Just remember – it’s not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them.)
13) Everything seems like a competition.
If you’ve done something, they’ve supposedly done something better. If you have something, they either make a point of saying they wouldn’t want it, or they get overly competitive to try to get it too.
You know the feeling? Then it could be one of the signs of a fake friendship. After all, real friends are really happy for you. There is no competition or no comparison even, because there doesn’t need to be. You should all be on the same team!
14) They bring drama into your life.
Fake friends seem to take drama with them anywhere you go, so one of the more subtle signs of a fake friendship is if you find that there’s always something happening – and they’re usually the ones either causing it or in the centre of it!
Just remember – you don’t need that kind of negativity around you!
15) They’re a bad influence on you.
Find that they bring out the worst in you rather than the best? Find that they encourage you to make mistakes, rather than wanting you to do what’s best for you?
Then it’s another of the signs of a fake friendship, as real friends would have your back far more than that – even if it’s telling you the tough stuff to try to help you when you need it!
16) You don’t feel like you can trust them.
For whatever reason it is – if you don’t feel like you can confide in your friend, or that you can fully open up, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why, as it could be one of the signs of a fake friendship and as a result of you feeling unsafe in the relationship.
What has happened to make you feel this way? Is it how they’ve previously reacted? Is it how they seem to be so fast to judge? Or because of a lack of compassion and care?
See, you’ll start to see how all the signs of a fake friendship start to align and that – actually – it’s really not a healthy friendship to be in…
17) Your friendship feels fragile.
Feel like you have to watch what you say? That if you say the wrong thing, speak your truth or offend them, then they’re going to walk away?
Then this is one of the BIGGEST signs of a fake friendship and – as we’ll discuss in a moment – they’re not worth holding onto anyway.
Why Fake Friendships Can Sometimes Be Harder To Spot
Now it’s worth noting that – even if many of these signs do ring true – it’s not always that clear or simple to spot the signs of a fake friendship.
After all, just like toxic relationships, fake friendships aren’t ALL bad, or ALWAYS bad.
The chances are – you’ve probably had lots of great, fun times together too. That’s why you’re still here.
But these friendship red flags and fundamental signs of a fake friendship still ultimately, cannot be ignored. Especially now you’ve gained more clarity and properly recognised them…
What To Do If You Recognise The Signs Of a Fake Friendship
So if you read through the signs of a fake friendship and found yourself saying, “that’s true, that’s true, that’s true,” have a read through these quotes about friendship for the important reminders you most probably now need.
Then – have the confidence and courage to speak things through with your friends. Tell them how you feel.
After all, if they take it the wrong way, it proves your concerns are true and if they don’t – it gives you both something to work through.
Remember – fake or toxic friendships can be just as damaging as relationships, so it’s important to know your worth and really value yourself. Don’t be afraid to walk away from what’s not right for you.
See, science reveals, only half of your friends actually like you. Mind-blowing, huh? But that works across everyone, so you’re NOT alone and it’s NOT personal.
It is, however, important to be able to spot the signs of a fake friendship and do a toxic detox to remove the people who don’t really deserve to be in your life. Trust me, by the end of it you’ll feel so much better!
Sending all my love and best wishes.
Love,
Ell_xx