So you’re on a date – you’re feeling it. You think there’s a spark there. But how do you know if there is chemistry with someone? What does chemistry with someone feel like? And how can you tell if they feel it too? (Without having to ask.) Well, my friends, let’s dig right in with the key signs there’s chemistry – so that you can better recognise it when it’s there, and realise when it’s not. Uh huh, dating life is about to get far more simpler!
What Is Chemistry When Dating?
So before we look at the signs there’s chemistry, let’s get clear on what chemistry actually is. See, essentially, chemistry is a simple “emotion.” It’s this feeling of connection, of “clicking” with a person. And it’s FELT – within you.
You can’t think up chemistry. You have to feel it.
It’s important to understand however, there are actually different types of chemistry in relationships. You’ve got:
- Physical Chemistry: This closely relates to sexual chemistry. It’s the desire to be physically intimate with someone. This can actually be built / grow in time. (Click here to read how.)
- Emotional Chemistry: This is when you connect with someone based on spirituality, emotional capacity, attitude, beliefs, or shared experiences. It may also involve two people being able to sense each others’ emotional states. You’re on the same wavelength essentially, or have the emotional intelligence to understand the other person.
These are the two main ones. But this can branch out further. There’s other types of chemistry that are less known or recognised. Like Social Chemistry for instance – the desire to engage with someone because of their social aptitude; humour, confidence, and likability.
Or intellectual chemistry. Does that sound a little more familiar?
This is is the desire to engage with someone because of their intellect or interests; being able to openly discuss ideas, challenge each others’ beliefs, encourage learning by your partner, or share what you have learned.
See, you can feel different types of chemistry with a person, multiple types of chemistry with them even. And some types of chemistry are more or less important to different people.
Does Chemistry Happen Instantly When Dating?
Chemistry is usually an instant thing. It can grow, it can intensify. But there has to be something there to begin with – even if it’s not the “something” you’re the most familiar with.
Chemistry can also grow in different areas once it has some sort of base. For instance…
Let’s say you dated a guy and you felt a connection. Maybe it was intellectual chemistry, mixed in with a little emotional chemistry. You didn’t really recognise these (so often we think chemistry is just a physical thing, but it’s not!)
As a result of this, you knew something was there – but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
Because you didn’t have that physical chemistry straight away, you wondered if “something was missing” or if it was really right. This may have made you question whether you should have a second date or not… But you did.
The more you saw the person, the more the chemistry grew. You started to find them more and more attractive as you got to know them on a deeper level.
The initial intellectual chemistry didn’t change, that always stayed the same, but the other areas – like physical chemistry – did start to develop, as that initial connection grew stronger. And finally, you felt like everything was there.
Is Chemistry Important When Dating?
Chemistry isn’t everything – especially when it’s one-dimensional. But by understanding that chemistry doesn’t just come in one form, you realise that chemistry is actually very important when dating. After all, it’s all about connection.
The person you decide to get into a relationship with, to spend your life with even – you should certainly have a special connection with. It shows you’re compatible (and not just physically – like we said, it’s not just down to attraction.)
10 Signs There’s Chemistry
So what are the signs there’s chemistry? How do you know when there’s chemistry there?
1) Body Language
Body language can tell you a lot about a person, yourself, and how the two of you are feeling.
Typically, the body language when there’s chemistry is very open. So you may find that you’re sat very close to each other. Or you might find you mirror each other’s movements… Or their body is aligned with yours.
Some other positive body language indicators include:
- Blushing cheeks
- Face touching
- Rapid blinking
- Gazing downward as a sign of shyness
- Head or hair tossing (this is usually one for us ladies!)
2) Sustained Eye Contact
Another key sign there’s chemistry there (so key, it deserves a bullet point all to itself!) is intense or sustained eye contact.
Eye contact that makes you FEEL things deep inside (this happens especially when there’s physical chemistry!)
Your eyes are just naturally drawn to each other, you don’t even have to think about it, they’re just there.
There could be anything going on around you and you probably wouldn’t even notice. It’s a pretty great feeling!
3) Butterflies
Why do you get butterflies when you like someone? Well it all comes down to a rush of dopamine that the brain releases on first falling in love.
Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked to physiological arousal as a whole. It all starts with things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so on.
The butterflies are ultimately then just the product of chemicals released from your brain. They do however, then become one of the easier ways to spot the signs of chemistry!
4) Subtle Flirting
Maybe it’s your hands brushing for longer than they should, or cheeky comments to gage reactions. Flirting however, is usually always prominent when there’s chemistry there – because it goes back to FEELING something for this person.
The great thing about chemistry as well, because it’s FELT, you don’t need the cheesy chat up lines or the little winks, you can flirt far more subtly. Even the smallest of gestures will make an impression.
There’s a romantic connection, even if that’s not quite been fully explored. And that’s the difference between going on a date and seeing them as a friend, and going on a date and instantly feeling something more.
5) Lots of Smiling
When you feel chemistry with a person, you’ll naturally find yourself smiling a lot.
Smiling or laughing – you’re on the same page, you’re getting off, bouncing off each other, the things they say are funny or endearing. It’s an automatic response to what they do and say.
You’ll also smile more because you like them, and they’re making you happy – this feeling is making you happy. So smiling is definitely one of the key signs there’s chemistry there.
6) Losing Track of Time
When you have chemistry with a person, you’ll find time goes especially fast. What is the phrase? “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Well it couldn’t be more true.
You’re enjoying each other’s company. You naturally connect on a deeper level. There’s no end of things to talk about, or even if you weren’t talking at all – just being around them feels good. It doesn’t feel awkward.
The minutes can pass into hours. You just want to find out more about them, feel closer to them, spend more time around them. It’s a beautiful thing.
7) Naturally Open & Comfortable
When there’s chemistry with a person, you feel like you’ve known them for far longer than you actually have!
They’re easy to talk to, you feel like you can be yourself around them, you feel comfortable and so naturally, it’s usually a little easier to open up to them.
This doesn’t mean that you have to pour your heartfelt life story out to them! It just means that the conversations that you do have, aren’t just surface level.
8) Passion & Excitement
When it does come to the point where you have your first kiss, it’s PASSIONATE!
Again, it makes you feel things. It’s like you’re kissing the love of your life (although you know that’s not what they are, not just yet anyway!)
The kissing comes naturally. It doesn’t feel forced. And it leaves you wanting more.
9) It Feels Real
When you have chemistry with the person, when you’re there with them, in that moment, everything seems simple, uncomplicated. It feels real, genuine, because it comes from within.
There’s no games, no questioning – well, not from your side anyway. Because even if it’s early days, you know that there’s something there between you, you know that there’s potential…
10) A Sense of Anticipation
When there’s real chemistry there, you feel genuine excitement and anticipation – about the person and what could happen.
In some cases, chemistry may actually make you feel nervous (uh huh, it’s not all rainbows and happy feelings!) You want to make sure they feel the same way (gee, maybe that’s what’s led you to this article to find out the signs there’s chemistry right now!)
You have the desire to make it something more. Because you feel like what you have could be something potentially very special.
Chemistry Isn’t Everything…
So there we have it – how you know there’s chemistry between the two of you, and the key signs there’s chemistry.
Just remember, as good as it feels to have chemistry with a person, it’s important to know that chemistry isn’t everything. You can have chemistry with a really crappy person, or someone who doesn’t actually share the same values as you.
For this reason, you still have to “qualify” the people you’re dating. You can’t just act from feelings. There will be someone out there who you have chemistry with, AND everything else that’s important to you.
So although chemistry is essential – it’s really just the starting base.
If you’ve found it, if you feel it – amazing. Get excited! See where it goes. Just make sure you still stay level-headed and don’t get too swept away… not straight away anyway!
Hope this has helped. Good luck and happy dating!
Love,
Ell_xx
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