So, you broke up. It ended. Whether you wanted it to or not. But how do you know if your ex is still thinking about you? How do you know if your ex is becoming interested again, and there’s chance of the two of you exploring getting back together? Well, in this post – we’ll break it all down with the 20 key signs your ex is becoming interested again – plus, what to think and do about it.
Is Your Ex Becoming Interested Again?
Before we look at the signs your ex is becoming interested again, I want you to ask yourself why you’re weighing this up.
- Do you miss your ex? Did you never truly get over them?
- Are you still struggling to get over them as you’re still in love with your ex?
- Would you like to get back with your ex? Have you been weighing up this possibility?
- Or perhaps you’re just confused and are trying to better understand the situation and their actions, behaviour and intentions?
Whatever it is, it’s important to get clear on WHY you want to know if your ex is becoming interested again, so that you can then stay clear-headed about what to do about it.
- How long have you been broken up?
- Would getting back together even be the right thing?
- Have you taken the time to properly heal and feel better after the breakup?
- How damaging / confusing is it to start to explore this possibility again?
- Is it better to stop this in its tracks now?
Be careful. Really think things through, okay? As you read through the signs your ex is becoming interested again – make sure you keep all of this in mind… and don’t rush into anything, okay? Alright then…
20 Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again
So now we’re all “prepped”, let’s move into the key signs your ex is becoming interested again: what to look out for and how to better read his / her behaviour.
1) They Start Talking To You More
So if you kept in contact with your ex after your breakup, or were at least on fairly friendly terms, you may start to see that now – they’re reaching out more.
They’re creating conversation, they’re sending more messages, maybe even giving you the odd call. And with all of this – they’re pretty friendly and it’s becoming more consistent.
It’s not just the odd message – it’s a clear effort to get that connection back with you (even just to some degree.) So there’s certainly some sort of intention behind it…
This could be because they miss you, or want to clear the air… Or because they’re trying to assess the situation… It’s too early to say.
But what is clear is that there’s a change, and this change could certain indicate some new interest. So it’s certainly one to recognise with the other signs.
2) Or Find Reasons To Reconnect
Another similar sign is if the two of you stopped speaking, and they’re now getting back in touch and breaking that silence – finding reasons to speak and reconnect.
This is even more so a sign that your ex is becoming interested again, because it’s quite a significant move. I mean:
- What have they got to gain from it?
- If they were 100% happy, or had fully moved on with their life, without you, why would they feel the need to reach out and start things back up with you? (Even just on a friendship level.)
And yes, you could then argue – well maybe they are trying to just be friends? Maybe so.
Recommended Read: Can You Really Be Friends With Your Ex?
But you then want to look at:
- Are they speaking to you in the same way as before?
- Are they strictly just speaking in a friendly way, or could there be some romantic intentions there?
- What did they say was their reasons for reaching out again? And are you buying that’s true?
Like I said, keep on reading – as the more of these signs that ring true, the easier it is to determine what their real intentions are.
3) They Check Out Your Socials More
Have you noticed that your ex is now one of the first people to view your story? Or one of the first to like your new post?
Have they started responding to the content you’ve been sharing – using it as an excuse to “slide into your DM’s” and reach out? They seem to be orbiting you.
If so – then this is another sign that your ex could be becoming interested again, and (actually!), aren’t afraid to show it!
Now there’s always a degree of curiosity after a breakup which can cause ex’s to check out their ex’s pages (or the pages of a new partner even!) This in itself, doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
But what does mean more – is when it’s constant, and it’s acted on…
4) They Respond Positively To You
Now not everything has to come from your ex. Maybe you’re looking for the signs your ex is becoming interested again, because you are actively trying to “pursue” them.
If this is the case, maybe you’re the one who’s reaching out first (and that’s fine.) But if the two of you are on the same page, you’ll notice that:
- They’re happy and friendly in their response.
- They respond fast and are enthusiastic…
- … Or keep you waiting (just a little!) to try to “play it cool.”
- You’ll notice that the conversation doesn’t stop with just your message – they’ll then continue to make conversation and ensure it carries on.
- It’s then both of you making the effort – like neither of you wants it to end.
5) They Stay In Touch With Your Friends & Family
Next up, if your ex is keeping in touch with your friends and family, it could be another sign they’re still interested in you (and probably never fully stopped) as they’ve never wanted to fully close that door.
They’ve always wanted to feel like they’re in your life, even to a small degree.
So this means that not only will they keep your family and friends (or mutual friends) on social media, but they’ll purposely make sure things are still on “good terms” with them, and it’s nice and friendly.
That way, there’s opportunities for them to find out more about you, and there’s more chance that your friends and family will speak positively about them. (It keeps them in your “good books!”)
So they may drop the occasional message, make sure they’re reacting to your friends / families posts and if they’re asking them about you… well it’s certainly a sign there’s still interest and care there! In fact, it’s one of the signs they’re actually waiting for you to come back to them!
6) They Find Excuses To See You In Person
Next up then, if your ex is – not only speaking to you – but wanting to see you, that’s even MORE of an active effort to be in your life… especially when they want to meet up, just the two of you.
I mean, there’s being friendly, and getting a friendship back on track (particularly in / for group situations), and there’s wanting one-on-one alone time.
(Like you would have had, many times before.) This is therefore a pretty big indicator…
They want to see you, spend time with you, and better gage what it’s like – how the two of you are and if there’s anything still there. Just bear in mind however, this isn’t always the best idea!
7) They Talk About The Past
Another major sign your ex is becoming interested again, is if – when you speak – they often bring up the past and the two of you.
And we’re not taking about the odd comment! This is when they’re essentially trying to get you think of the good times, and reminisce with them…
They’ve not fully moved on, and they don’t want you to have either. You’re still very much on their mind.
They want to remind you of how good you were together, how happy you were at times, and make you miss it. (Miss them!)
I mean, think about it – if they wanted to move things into a friendship, they wouldn’t be doing that. They’d keep things friendly and more surface-level, so it’s a surefire sign!
8) Or Directly Ask You How You Feel
Now if your ex is more of a bold, straight-forward person, who isn’t worried about how they’re coming across… they may just outright ask you how you feel and if you miss them.
They won’t necessarily throw their feelings out there, but they may just simply ask you so that they have more clarity on the situation.
They could also be that your ex is testing you – testing to see if you’re willing to put yourself out there again, so that they can decide if they are too.
After all, they may still have feelings for you but be afraid of rejection.
This can put you in a tricky situation yourself though, especially if you’ve been debating whether or not to tell your ex you still love him.
9) They’re Not Dating Other People
What else have we got? Well, let’s talk about DATING, because another big sign your ex is becoming interested in you again is if:
- They’re not dating anyone else.
- Most importantly: they want you to know this!
They make it clear that there’s no-one else on the scene. If there was before, when you first broke up, but now there’s not – that’s actually even more of an indicator.
They tried to date other people, but their heart is just not in it.
That may be why they’re now coming back to (potentially) try again with you – because they’ve realised how much you mean to them and they want to try again.
They can’t focus on anyone else, until they know (completely) where they stand with you, and if there is scope to try again.
10) Or They Try To Make You Jealous
Everyone has different approaches and different rationale, so another possible sign your ex is interested again – is if they’re actually actively try to make you jealous.
Let’s say you still follow each other on social media – then you might find they share things that hints of them being out and about with another guy / girl. This could be fishing for a reaction… or at least trying to get you asking the question!
Or let’s say you’re on speaking terms and maybe they drop in what they’ve been up to. “Oh, I was out for drinks last night and…” etc, etc.
What you will notice is they won’t give all the specifics. They don’t want to put you off or push you too far. They simply want to spike up a little jealousy: 1) to know you care, and 2) so that they can use that to get a “way in.”
As humans, we are hardwired to feel pain when we get rejected – which is why we try to avoid it.
If your ex can see you getting a little jealous, not only do they have more confidence that you care, but they can also turn it around as an “opener” to discuss what you want. Like:
“Why do you care about this anyway? Do you still have feelings for me? Be honest…”
You see? It makes it easier to approach, right? Instead of randomly throwing the question out there.
Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again
When looking for the signs your ex is becoming interested again – notice their behaviour, any changes and what “vibes” you’re getting from them. You know your ex better than anyone, which means you’re the best person to interpret what their intentions are and how they feel… So have confidence – trust your gut. We’re half way through these signs now, so let’s keep them coming!
11) You Notice Them Getting Jealous
Another key indicator that your ex is still interested, or becoming interested again – is if they’re getting jealous about the things you do or the people you’re out with. (Whether that’s someone you’re dating or not!)
So maybe it’s the other way around and you’re out for drinks, so they joke around with a comment like, “Another date?!”, although they’re not totally joking really…
Or maybe you’re going out with your girls every weekend and really “letting your hair down.” They may then say something like, “You’re always out now aren’t you?! Living your best life?!”
See the truth is – they’re worried… Worried that you’re happier without them, meeting new people and moving on. They’re still very much focused on you, and what you’re up to, and there’s a reason for that… they still want you!
Recommended Read: The Key Signs He Likes You (But Is Hiding It!)
12) They Try To Find Out If You’re Dating Anyone
We touched on this a little above, but I want to highlight the fact further… If your ex is becoming interested again, they’re going to want to know what your romantic situation actually is.
Before they “pursue” things further, they’ll want to know if you’re “available.”
This means they may directly ask if you’re dating anyone, ask others to try to find out from them, or drop little comments to try to encourage you to clarify.
It’s a major sign because think about it – if they didn’t want to potentially get back with you, or only saw you on a friendship level now… why would they care?
It wouldn’t even be on their radar or of interest. So you see? There’s definitely ways to piece it altogether and understand their intentions.
13) They Make Extra Effort With You Again
Think back to when you first started dating your ex. They were on their “best behaviour”, right? Being their best version of themselves?
They wanted to win you over and impress you… And that’s exactly what they’ll do if they’re becoming interested in you again.
And sure – you guys now have history. It won’t be exactly the same second time around. But this can actually be used to their advantage – to build on that connection, further and faster.
- Does your ex go out of their way to do things for you?
- Are they always there for you, even though you’ve split up?
- Are they their happy, funny, jokey self?
- Do they say things that they think will impress you?
- Do they always try to make things fun and positive now, when they’re around you?
- Could they be putting on a SLIGHT act to try to be their most charming self?
Because that’s the thing there, right? You know them, remember? So you know their normal “day to day” self and can differentiate that with the version you may be getting again now!
14) They Flirt Or Give You Lots of Complements
Likewise if they’re putting in extra effort or trying to impress you, you’ll also notice that – if your ex is becoming interested again – they’ll get a little flirty or complementary with you too.
After all, they want to move things back into a romantic level – so this works hand in hand.
They’re also likely to miss being that way around you. If the chemistry is still there between you and you both feel the same way – this all comes pretty naturally too.
So maybe it’s the unfaltering eye contact, or the lingering hand touching. Or perhaps they say things like, “Oh you always were so good at that” or “Wow, you really are beautiful aren’t you?”
Notice the little things, and ask yourself: is this the way my ex would be if they were around a friend? Leading on from this, another key sign your ex is still interested in you, is if…
15) There’s Physical Contact
Does your ex treat you like you’re still together in some ways? Is there physical contact, that just comes so naturally? (Of course because of your history.)
It may feel like the two of you never really changed – you’re still comfortable around each other, still close and affectionate… and this can be without them directly “making a move” to kiss you or anything further than that.
It could just be more about the hand positioning, the familiarity, and the chemistry that is still undeniably there. It turns an innocent hug into something that’s far more intimate.
You feel it, and you know they do too. And that’s when you know – there’s a good chance that they are indeed, still interested in you.
16) And an Emotional Connection
So maybe you broke up, had some time apart and are now back onto speaking terms again.
But what you’ll notice, if your ex is becoming interested again and there’s still something between you – is your conversations don’t slip into polite, small talk.
There’s deep chats, that delve far further than surface level. For this to happen, it shows that there’s still a level of trust there and that emotional connection.
You open up to your ex and your ex opens up to you (plus encourages it.) They want to feel close to you again and have missed feeling close to you. This is something that they may also confess!
You not only speak about deeper things, but send far more messages than friends typically would. There’s a bond there, a bond that (even with time), seems to have been a little unbreakable.
If your ex is actively encouraging and pursuing this, there’s a good chance they’re interested in exploring things further with you again. Otherwise – why would they bother? They’d simply invest their time and emotion into someone else.
17) They Turn To You For Support
Break ups are tough. That’s undeniable. But if you and your ex have had that time apart, and they’ve reached out to you again – sharing that they’re finding it tough, it’s one of the biggest signs they’re interested in getting back with you again.
That’s their olive branch – that’s them putting themselves out their and allowing themselves to be vulnerable with you, in the hope that you feel the same way too.
And maybe they don’t give the full-on spiel about why you should get back together – maybe there’s no mention of that or that they even want to.
But the fact they turned to you for support through this difficult time, it shows they’ve not yet let go of you. They’ve tried to and it’s failing. So they’re now trying with you again – even with the risk of them just getting further hurt.
18) They Talk About How They’ve Changed
Time’s a healer, right? But if your ex has healed and they still come back to you – it’s definitely a big sign your ex is becoming interested again.
When this happens, they’re likely to open up about:
- How they’ve changed.
- What they’ve learned.
- How happy they are now. (Because that’s attractive, right?)
It’s like a subtle sales pitch which is saying to you – look how different I am, look how this could be different and better than before.
Any breakup needs change to happen if two people are going to get back together and it’s going to work, which is why – if they’re interested in getting back with you – they’ll want to really get this across.
They’re also likely to recognise their mistakes, apologise, take responsibility and “be the bigger person” if they have to, because they know what they want, and that is actually you!
19) They Want To Talk About What Happened
So maybe after the breakup, everything was too raw. There were blow-ups, arguments and the two of you weren’t in a great place. Or maybe it was more about numbness and confusion…
Whatever the reaction, if you and your ex have had time apart, and they’ve then come back and want to talk it through – yes, this could be for closure, but it could also be one of the major signs your ex is becoming interested again… it depends on how they go about it.
- Are they, like we said, recognising their own mistakes and trying to get across what they’ve learnt and how they’ve changed?
- Are they genuinely interested (and hopeful) that you too, have learnt and changed? After all, this would then give it a chance of working.
- Is the conversation positive and optimistic and focused on the future as much as it is the past?
- Which angle are they taking the conversation? What does it seem like they want?
Take note of all of these things, because there’s a good chance your ex could be trying to clear the air so that the two of you can move forward together…
20) They Talk About The Possibility Of You Getting Back Together
Last but not least then, one of the most obvious signs your ex is becoming interested again, is if they openly talk about the prospect of the two of you trying again.
Maybe you’ve recognised many of the above signs before and this is the next (but potentially final) step. They’re putting it out there, they want to hear what you think and – the chances are – from their side, they’re willing and open to exploring it too.
If they wasn’t – they wouldn’t even bother mentioning it. Otherwise it’s just playing games, and I think we can all agree, there’s no point in that when it comes to an ex.
So sometimes – it’s that simple. And remember, it’s always something that you could do too…
What To Do If Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again
If your ex is becoming interested again, and is acting on it, you then have to take a step back and consider if this is really for the best. (Just like if it’s for the best if you want it too.)
Could the two of you genuinely get back together? Would it be the right thing to get back together? And if so – how could things be different this time?
In fact, more so than this – how likely is it that they actually WOULD be different too? Because that’s the thing…
It’s easy to be drawn back towards an ex, especially in the early stages of a breakup. Breakups are hard. You want the loss and pain to go away. But just make sure you’d be going back for the right reasons… Otherwise, you’re simply prolonging the pain.
Makes sense? Have a little more clarity around it all? I hope so!
That’s all for this one today then. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Take care! All the best.