How do you know if your ex is bitter? What does that look like and what does it mean? Well, my friends, in this post, we’re going to break it down with the 10 key signs your ex is bitter after the breakup.
What Is a Bitter Person?
So before we look at the signs your ex is bitter, let’s first get clear on what bitter means – or more specifically, what it means if a person is bitter. See essentially…
If someone is bitter, they’re unhappy and angry because they cannot forget the bad things that happened in the past.
The thing is, as Buddha once said, “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You can’t have a sweet life when you’re bitter, which is why you must, must, must learn to let things go.
Why Might Your Ex Be Bitter?
So what causes bitterness after a breakup? Why might your ex be bitter? Well it could be due to:
> A Bad Breakup: Maybe things ended on rocky terms or things were said / done that weren’t right or fair.
> A Toxic Relationship: If the relationship was unhealthy, and this started to take its toll – resentment can build and bitterness towards an ex can come as a result of it.
> Bad Experiences In The Relationship: Bitterness often comes after a breakup if there was wrong-doings during the relationship too. So for example, if someone is cheated on. They’ll then not only be hurt, but have trust issues and will feel like that person has just wasted their time. It’s frustrating, and understandably so.
> Bad Experiences Which Compile Together: There’s only so much a person can take. If your ex had bad relationship experiences with you, on top of bad past experiences in relationships before, it also increases the chances of bitterness to develop as they’ll begin to think, “Why does this always have to happen?!” “How could they do this to me?!” You have to be careful with this one however, as this too, can create a victim mentality (which is not good for anyone – especially the person who has it!)
> Frustration… For Whatever Reason: Frustration as a whole can create bitterness after a breakup. I mean, a person who ended it, could even become bitter if they felt like they had no choice and their partner (i.e. you) didn’t do enough to fight for it or save it. Or, they could be bitter – even if they’re over you – if you then moved on quickly and they haven’t. You see?
Essentially your ex is likely to be bitter after the breakup if they’re holding onto the bad situations / experiences that happened with you, or the things that they don’t like about their new situation now.
What Does It Mean When Your Ex Is Bitter?
So what does it mean when your ex is bitter? Well of course, it means that they’re not happy.
They won’t want to feel this way. It’s not a nice way to feel.
Quite simply, whatever happened between the two of you – it really affected them. And whether they’re over you or not, they’re certainly not over the breakup itself, or the “damage” it has caused.
10 Signs Your Ex Is Bitter After The Breakup
So what do you want to look out for? What are the actual key signs your ex is bitter after the breakup? Well…
1) They’re Rude To You
One of the biggest signs your ex is bitter after the breakup is if they’re rude to you.
This could be by constantly making little “diggy” comments or snide remarks. Or they could be down-right nasty to you, with full-blown insults and a lot of pent-up anger!
In fact, at times it may even feel like your ex hates you!
When you speak, they’re either argumentative – trying to get a reaction out of you, or they’re cold and blunt with you, speaking to you like you mean NOTHING to them now.
The truth is, it can’t be amicable or civil, when there’s still so much bitterness and resentment.
2) They Often Get Upset
The other key element of bitterness – besides anger – is sadness. And so naturally, one of the signs your ex is bitter is if there’s time that they drop their guard and show how upset they still are.
So perhaps you’ve started getting drunken text messages or calls. Or maybe you’ve just heard from friends that they’re not in a great place. Either way, it’s not nice to hear, but – unfortunately – there’s nothing you can do about it!
They’re torn. They’re hurting. They don’t want to feel this way, but right now – they do.
3) They Keep Talking About The Two Of You
Do you find that your ex keeps bringing up your relationship? Going over the same things, time and time again?
Maybe it started with the potential “solutions” or ways you could get back together. However, if your ex has now become bitter and they know there’s no going back, the conversation is likely to take a turn for the worst…
They’ll bring up the things that have happened, what you did wrong and how much you hurt them. They’ll take these things all out on you, and get frustrated.
If you’re at this point, and haven’t done so already, you really need to think about going no-contact however, as allowing this isn’t helping either of you…
4) They Make Things Difficult For You
What else have we got? Well, if your ex is bitter after the breakup, they’re going to make things difficult for you.
Why? Because they don’t like certain things that happened between the two of you, so part of them gets a little satisfaction by inflicting – even just a little inconvenience or “pain.”
The most common things your ex will do if they’re bitter, is make it hard for you to collect your things, or not return them at all! (This happens a lot!)
To a more extreme degree, they may cause problems with new people that you date / get into a relationship with, or try to spread rumours about you. (Not good, not good at all!)
This leads me onto my next point…
Signs Your Ex Is Bitter After The Breakup
5) They Speak Badly About You
Another key sign your ex is bitter is if they badmouth you to others. Like we said – they’re hurt and frustrated. Things are also playing on their mind. So it makes them feel better to get it out…
It feels like (in a way) it’s giving them a little justice if people “know what you’re like” or “what you’ve done.” Although the thing with this is, remember, there’s always two sides to a story…
6) They Post Emotive Breakup Quotes On Social Media
Ah, we’re half way through the signs your ex is bitter, so it’s time for a big one… Social media posting after a breakup!
See, if your ex is bitter, you’ll notice angry or emotional posts going on their social media channels – particularly by using breakup quotes (these are always popular!)
It’s a way of getting out their emotions and making themselves feel better. Although it’s better than publicly sharing the details of your breakup and how you mistreated them. (That happens too!) On a similar note actually…
7) Or Try To Prove How Happy They Now Are
Another possible sign your ex is bitter, is if they’re going O.T.T posting statuses about “how happy they are now”, or “how letting go was the best possible thing…”
Now this may actually be the case, but if they were that happy, would they really feel the need to share it with the world… excessively? It’s like they have something to prove.
If your ex is bitter, they may also post things to try to make you jealous, or again, try to get a reaction. Just take what they post with a pinch of salt if this is the case!
… Or better yet – don’t look at all!
8) They Stalk / Obsess Over You
Next up, there’s the “stalking”. Now we’re not talking about your ex following you everywhere with binoculars (yikes!) We’re in the 21st century, so this kind of stalking is more about on social media. This means, you may notice:
- Your ex is always one of the first to view your story.
- And on top of this – your ex seems to be online far more than usual.
- They always seem to be on top of what you’re doing / what’s going on in your life.
- And perhaps they’ll pick up on things and make comments.
See, you’re on their radar far more than they should be… not necessarily because they still have feelings for you. [Read This: Is My Ex Over Me?]
The bitterness, resentment and anger is still just lingering… and they don’t know what to do about it or how to get it to go away!
They’re clinging onto the things that they don’t think are right, and are looking for things that would make them feel better.
Secretly, they hope you’re miserable. (Ouch!) But this will pass in time… Or it should do anyway. And really – they’re only hurting themselves by feeling this way!
9) Or Want Absolutely Nothing To Do With You
On the flip side, one of the signs your ex is bitter is if they want absolutely nothing to do with you. It can’t be amicable. They can’t even speak to you, let alone would they be okay about seeing you.
They recognise the toxic emotions that are there towards you, and so they try to distance themselves from it.
As a result, they cut you out completely. They unfollow you, block you, block all of your friends. Now this could be a coping mechanism after the breakup, but combined with other signs – it can certainly suggest a little resentment could be there.
Just Note: Breakups are tough, and very confusing. Your ex could be both obsessing over you, and want nothing to do with you. It’s tricky to make sense of both sides!
10) They Make Poor Choices
Last but not least then, one of the major signs your ex is bitter, is if they’re making poor choices in their life too. So, you may hear of them going off the rails a little.
This is because the bitterness is driven by negative emotions. All of this anger.. it’s unhealthy and consuming! They can act irrationally in the heat of it. For this reason – they need to process it and let it go to move on.. for their own sake more than anyone else’s!
The sad thing is – they’re losing themselves by behaving this way. But a reality check should come and time can, indeed, heal.
Signs Your Ex Is Bitter
As time goes on, you can better tell if your ex is bitter – or whether it was just the initial hurt that was driving their behaviour.
For example: did things calm down? Is everything more amicable now? Or years on, is there still bad feeling and tension? Are they still not wishing the best for you?
If so, and everything has remained the same between the two of you, it could mean that they really are bitter after your breakup and that bitterness is deeply embedded!
Does It Matter?
So, you’ve recognised the fact your ex is bitter, you – kind of – understand why. Now what?
Well, you have to let it go my friends, let it go. Understand that your ex doesn’t want to feel this way, and even if their behaviour towards you can be testing – you cannot retaliate or react.
“Whatever you focus on, you feel.” So if you’re focusing on the fact that your ex is bitter, it’s only going to bring negativity into your life.
You have your answer now. You have clarity over how they’re feeling. But decide now – to let go of any hard feelings you have towards your ex, and stop focusing on your ex.
Focus on you. Focus on moving forward. Free yourself! Release any of this frustration or tension! Because that’s the best thing you can take away from all of this…
You can’t control how anyone else acts or feels, which means you can’t change the fact that your ex is bitter after the breakup. But you can control your own thoughts and behaviour.
So use this as motivation to make sure that you’re not letting bitterness taint you and the way you go on to live your life now.
Agreed? Agreed! Then that’s all for this one. Take care!
All the best.