Breakups are hard. And dealing with it after is often even harder. You may be wondering, “Is he over me already?” You see things on socials, you interpret texts in different ways, or maybe you get radio silence. Either way, you’re confused. You think you need clarity for closure. So in this post, we’re going to run through the key signs your ex is over you, and how to deal with it all.
Does It Matter If Your Ex Is Over You?
So before we look at the signs your ex is over you, I want you to ask yourself, does it really matter? And I know – right now, your immediate thought is most likely YES! You’re hurting. Obsessing perhaps even.
And that’s not because you’re crazy, or have lost the plot. It’s perfectly understandable, perfectly reasonable in many ways. So we’re going to run through this… We’re going to look at the signs your ex is over you to make things a little clearer in your mind, to make it easier for you to get your head around it.
But that’s the only reason. Is he over me already? What can I do about it? How can I get him back? How can I make him want me again? All these questions – they’re not healthy or constructive. So we don’t want it to escalate any further.
This really isn’t the direction you want your train of thoughts to flow. Instead it should be more like…
Whether he’s over me or not, it does not matter anymore. We weren’t right. Some things about the relationship were fundamentally wrong. That’s why we’re where we are now. We’re no longer together now, and I have to accept that. This is for the best.
Agreed? So once you’ve figured this out a little more in your mind, you have to promise to let it go. You have to direct your focus and attention elsewhere. That’s the deal here, okay? And I want you to promise because I want to genuinely help you… But you have to want to help yourself too!
How You Know Your Ex Is Over You
So, let’s run run through the key signs your ex is over you. Use this to help yourself gain the acceptance you need, and the motivation too – to get over him and move on.
Just remember – it’s not a competition. It doesn’t matter if he’s over you already and you’re not. It doesn’t mean that you meant less to him than he did to you. You’re both different people, on different journeys, dealing with different things in different ways.
So it’s not a big deal, and it’s not worth reading into.
If on the other hand, you read this and think, “Hold up… nope. nope. nope. That does not sound like him! Maybe there’s still hope after all”, then no – there’s still “no hope!” Take a step back and remember why you didn’t work in the first place.
You broke up for a reason. Whether you agree with that reason or not, it’s happened. So even if you were to get straight back together now, it wouldn’t change things or make things better. Not long term anyway.
For this reason, the best thing you can do, is accept that – right now – the two of you aren’t together. In time, things will become easier. Everything will also become a lot clearer… So if you can’t see why this had to happen right now, don’t worry, you soon will.
But for now, it’s about seeing that this is it. If he’s not over you already, he will be, at some point, and you have to feel okay with that.
10 Signs Your Ex Is Over You
So like I said, let’s run through the signs, purely to help to clear your head. You ready? Then let’s get to the bottom of this. This is how you know your ex is over you…
1) He’s Not Speaking To You
One of the biggest signs your ex is over you is when he’s not speaking to you. He hasn’t tried to get into contact, he hasn’t responded to your texts, or if he does – he sends the bare minimum, then that is that.
It hurts, I know. It’s difficult because it’s like suddenly he’s a different person… and you crave for that old him back. The “him” who you loved, the “him” who you were happy with – but that “him” is gone, because you’re no longer together.
And if he’s not trying to reconnect, if he doesn’t want to speak to you, it’s a big sign that he’s over you… Or at least wants to be over you.
In his mind, it’s done. Which is why you need to get to that place in your mind too.
There is no going back. He’s not going to suddenly come running. And so you have to stop wishing it would be another way.
2) If You Do Speak, It’s Not The Same
Like we said above, contact is minimal, if at all. And when he does speak, it will be short, blunt, rude even. And it’s not necessarily that he hates you – so don’t interpret it as that if there’s not especially “bad blood” between the two of you.
But you’re ex’s now. The best you can get is civil… especially in the early days. Friendly would be confusing and complicated. Friendly could give mixed signals.
So at this stage, if he’s over you, he doesn’t want to cross any lines. He’ll speak if he has to, but there’s definitely a level of coldness about it.
3) He Wants His Stuff Back
Another one of the major signs your ex is over you, is when he wants his stuff back – genuinely just because he wants his stuff.
This isn’t a secret ploy to get to see you. In fact, he’ll probably try to arrange to collect it when you’re not there if he can – or ask you to post it over to him if there’s not much.
But he wants his stuff back, because he isn’t planning on seeing you again, he knows there won’t be a “big get-together” and so he wants to get it now, whilst he still can.
4) He’s Getting On With His Life
So he’s not speaking to you, he doesn’t want to see you, he wants to collect his things… At this stage, you may also notice how he seems – so easily – to be getting on with his life.
Maybe he’s doing new things, going different places, he seems happy. And sure, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is, nor that he’s over you. He could just be getting on with things because he knows he has no other option.
But that’s the thing – he’s trying to make the best of it. He’s accepted it. He wants to move forward and he’s not coming back to you, or so it seems anyway.
And as much as it hurts, it is an indicator that you should start to get on with your life now too – to look forward, not back.
5) He’s Dating Other People
Again, I’m not really big on this one as one of the signs your ex is over you, because actually – it doesn’t mean anything on it’s own. Often people date when they’re not over their ex’s because they want to be – but it doesn’t work. They’re kidding themselves.
Having said that, if all of the above is ringing true, then on top of that you hear of him dating other people, or you see someone else on his socials, then I’m sorry, but there is a good chance that he’s starting to move on.
6) He’s In A Relationship
Going one step further than this, he may even be in a relationship… now this could be a rebound one, it depends on the length of time… and his character.
Some people simply have to move on from one person to the next because they can’t cope on their own. They’re not happy on their own. They seek validation from others. Which is a whole other topic in itself!
But if he’s in a new relationship whilst you’re still hung up on him, it is a big indicator that he’s moved on a lot faster than you – because you, no doubt, could not even muster up the enthusiasm to get feelings for anyone else, let alone commit to someone.
7) He Tells You He Doesn’t Want To Get Back With You
Perhaps you’ve managed to get in contact again. You’ve poured your heart out, told him how you feel, told him you want to give it another shot.
If at this point he tells you he doesn’t feel the same way, he doesn’t want to be with you, or even that he’s “not sure” then he’s either already over you (at least enough to risk losing this opportunity to get back together) or is on his way to getting over you.
When you like someone, and you’re apart from them, if you really want to get back with them – you will.
It’s like when you go on “a break” but it never lasts long and doesn’t escalate into a full breakup, because you miss each other and you can’t stand the thought of having to let go… or having the other person move on to someone else.
So if you’ve tried to reach out once more, you want to give it another go, but he doesn’t – or he’s not sure, you must accept it. You must see that that’s not going to change.
8) He Doesn’t Care What You Do
Another big indicator that your ex is over you, is when he really doesn’t seem to care what you do. Maybe you post things on social media and it doesn’t get a reaction (which by the way, is a terrible idea, in fact, whilst we’re on the topic – I recommend a social media detox after a breakup if anything!)
Or maybe he specifically tells you to move on, encourages you to. That one can be a real kicker! You wonder if he actually means it, or would actually be okay with it, but regardless of this, he’s still trying to get you to move on which is a big sign that he already has too.
Not quite at this level? Then, it could just be the fact that he hasn’t checked in on you, you haven’t heard a peak. If he is wondering how you’re getting on, you wouldn’t know at all – and so you can assume that he doesn’t care… or doesn’t care in the romantic sense anyway.
And I know it hurts, but that’s how it should be. It also makes it easier. I mean, think about it – if he was still on the scene, you’d feel torn. Now at least you’re being left to what you want to do… and what you should do is embrace that!
9) He Tells You To Leave Him Alone
He tells you he doesn’t want to speak to you, he tells you to let go and move on. Oh it’s hurtful. And unfortunately, it’s usually not reverse psychology or him just playing games…
He’s pushing you away and you have to be willing to hear these little things that he’s saying – to notice them, to let them sink in, instead of trying to avoid reality.
Often the signs aren’t this obvious. Often this isn’t the case. But it is, you don’t really need to be reading this article – deep down (or not so deep actually!) you know he’s done, you know it’s true. And you have to just face that.
*** Sending big hugs and lots of love ***
10) He Doesn’t Have Anything To Prove
One of the final signs your ex is over you, that I want to leave this article on, is the fact that he doesn’t have anything to prove.
He doesn’t tell you what he’s doing, he doesn’t tell you how happy you are if you do end up speaking… he’s genuinely happy, and he doesn’t care whether you know that or not, because he’s not focused on you anymore.
He’s not trying to make you jealous, he’s not showing off or bragging, he doesn’t want nor need a reaction from you. He’s living his life, not trying to flaunt it. And that’s one of the most subtle – but major – signs your ex is over you.
Is He Over Me Already?
It can hurt when your ex is over you. Sometimes it’s clearer, sometimes it’s not. And when it’s a little blurred – it can be difficult.
I mean, you could actually read these signs your ex is over you and try to piece it altogether, but the fact of the matter is – you’ll never really know for sure.
People can be pretty good at SEEMING to be a certain way, but it’s not necessarily always the case… And that’s exactly why you shouldn’t keep going around and around in circles trying to figure it out.
Like I said before, it doesn’t matter if your ex is over you or not. Not really. Yes it hurts. Yes it’s hard to readjust. But it won’t feel like this forever. In fact, this won’t make a single bit of difference to you soon…
It could be days, it could be weeks and even if it’s months – you will get over him. You will feel okay. And you will go on to be even happier than you once were. I promise you.
So from here, it’s all about onwards and upwards! Click here for some supporting posts that are really going to help you:
- How To Accept Your Relationship Is Over
- How To Deal With Your Ex Moving On
- What To Do When You Feel Like Texting Your Ex
- What To Do When You Miss Your Ex
- BONUS: How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex
That’s right, I’ve got you covered. Plenty to “work through” there! And if you are still struggling, give me a shout. I’m here to help. Take care!