How do you know if your ex is waiting for you to come back? If they don’t believe it’s fully over, and they want the two of you to get back together? And what do you even do if you find yourself in that situation? How should you act / respond? Well my friends, in this post – we’ll break it all down. Here’s the 20 key signs your ex is waiting for you to come back, and: what to think / do!
Why Is Your Ex Waiting For You?
So before we look at the signs your ex is waiting for you, let’s first explore why they may be doing this in the first place.
After all, the two of you ended – whether it was your decision or theirs, you’re not together anymore. Wouldn’t it just be better to accept it and move on?
Well, in most cases – yes. But, as we all know, breakups aren’t usually that easy. Your ex may still be waiting for you to come back because:
- They’re still in denial. (One of the fundamental stages of grief after heartbreak.)
- They think you’re making a mistake, but will soon realise it – so are buying their time until you do. (Perhaps you broke up over something silly, or are self-sabotaging for example?)
- They genuinely believe that you’re “the one”, so aren’t willing to give up on the two of you just yet. (Fighting talk or what!)
- The list could go on and on…
All of the reasons “why” your ex is waiting for you are actually also the signs that this is the case too. Or, at the very least, if you know one of these things are true – you know that it’s going to be more likely that they’re not waiting for you anyway.
Whats more, by knowing WHY your ex is waiting for you, it can help you to better determine what to do too.
I mean – are they waiting for you for the right reasons? Or is this driven by their pain and simply wanting it to go away? It makes a big difference, you see?
20 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting For You
So now you’ve started to consider the “why” part and any key things you know to be true, let’s dig further into the “how you tell part”, running through the clear signs your ex is waiting for you.
What sort of things will you notice? How will they typically behave?
This is that you ex is actually waiting for you to come back – so they’re likely to be a little more proactive about it. (Or at the very least, make sure you know about it to some degree!)
Because sure – they have their pride to think of, and they could be secretly HOPING you will come back, but that’s still different to them WAITING for you to come back. You see?
So have a read of this list and see how many of these signs start to ring true…
1) They Didn’t Want It To End
Now we mentioned it at the start, but I want to highlight it further again. The reasons WHY your ex is waiting for you, often also interlinks as a sign that they are too.
One of the biggest things keeping people stuck after a breakup – is if they didn’t want the relationship to end, or didn’t think that it should.
This is therefore a fundamental element (that has to be there) if your ex is waiting for you to come back.
- So maybe your ex said this at the time of the breakup, or really fought hard for the two of you to try to stay together.
- Maybe they’re still telling you now – that the breakup wasn’t the right thing and it “didn’t have to be like this.”
Essentially if they’re not willing to let go, there’s a good chance they’re still waiting for you to come back – or to be able to win you back.
The question is – do you want to get back with them? Do you think it was the right thing? Or do you know that, deep down, getting back together would be a mistake?
2) They’ve Told You They’re Waiting For You
What next? What next? Well, if your ex has told you they’re waiting for you to come back, then – you should most definitely take their word for it.
After all, it takes a lot to make such a bold statement. They’re allowing themselves to be vulnerable and opening their hurt for more hurt.
And sure, they may also throw it in with something like, “I can’t wait forever!” to try to create a little more urgency or not be quite as “available”.
But, at the end of the day, they’ve put themselves out there and that’s a pretty brave move.
3) They’ve Told You they Still Love You
Likewise, if your ex is waiting for you (but couldn’t say it in those exact words) they may have said something like:
“I still love you”, or “I will always love you. Just remember that…”
They’re not putting on any pressure, or making any demands, but they want you to know that the door is not completely closed and their feelings (or desires) have not changed for you.
CAREFUL: In some cases, they may say they still love you (because they’re struggling with the loss), but know you can’t be together.
So assess your situation and the feasibility of the two of you actually being able to get back with each other, alongside these key signs.
4) They’re Still Hurting After The Breakup
Another common reason (and sign) your ex is still waiting for you, is because they’re still hurting after the breakup.
In fact, before we go any further on this one click here to read the key signs your ex is hurting, or (worse still than that) click here for the signs your ex is MISERABLE!
See, if your ex isn’t in a good place mentally, they’re not always going to make rational or reasonable decisions. For this reason, they might be waiting for you:
- Because they can’t deal with the pain this is causing so they want to still hope that it will come to an end – you will get back together.
- On the flip side, they could just be “waiting for you” because they just don’t have the strength to do anything else, or try to move on.
As you can probably tell, these aren’t particularly good reasons for why your ex may be waiting for you.
This further highlights why it’s so important to properly recognise and understand these signs, because it should certainly influence your decision as to what to then do.
5) They Still Want You In Their Life
What else will you notice if your ex is waiting for you? Well, they’ll insist on having you in their life – even if that’s just as friends. They’ll take whatever they can.
That way – they’re there if you start to miss them, falter on your decision or change your mind. They can also still secretly work on you, to try to encourage you to change your mind too.
How? Well, by being the person you fell in love with and reminding you how great you could be!
Just remember: you broke up for a reason, so unless there’s real, significant or lasting change, your ex being on their “best behaviour” now, still doesn’t mean it would work if you got straight back together. (Stay level headed. Think with both your heart AND your head!)
6) They Won’t Date Anyone Else
Is your ex still in touch with you? Are they still speaking to you and showing some level of interest? Well, there’s also a good chance they’re waiting for you to come back to them if:
- They have no interest in dating anyone else.
- They haven’t started to date anyone else yet.
- Or they tried dating others, but their heart just wasn’t in it, so they’ve now stopped.
This is actually a pretty big sign your ex is waiting for you, but – only if the two of you are on speaking terms.
(Otherwise you wouldn’t know either way and that defeats the object! If they’re not dating, but you’re not talking, it’s probably just because they’re not ready to do so yet.)
However, if you are speaking, consider it from their side:
- If they don’t date anyone else, that’s making a pretty bold statement. They could move on, they could “do what they want”, but they don’t want to do anything else with anyone else.
- If they don’t date anyone else, it also “sets the standards” and makes you less likely to date other people. (Which is what they want. They don’t want you seeing other people!)
- There’s also no chance of causing any upset or additional issues that could then stand in your way of getting back together.
- And ultimately – their focus is on you. That again goes back to the difference between your ex secretly WANTING you to come back to them, and them WAITING for you to come back… Or actually even proactively trying to get you back! You see?
This leads me onto one of our next signs your ex is waiting for you…
7) They Keep Pursuing You
Would you wait for a bus, sat at home, or without knowing if the bus was even coming?
Of course not! Just like your ex won’t wait for you to come back, without doing anything about it, or knowing that there’s a SLIGHT chance it could happen.
For this reason, if your ex is waiting for you to come back, they’ll also be putting the work in to try to make it happen… and happen faster.
Yes, everyone has different approaches (some will go softer, some will go harder) but there will definitely be effort there if they think the two of you can and will get back together.
8) They Say There’s Something Between You
… And (You Must Admit), You Feel It Too
Remember, your ex won’t be waiting for you to come back, for no reason.
So another key sign that they are, is if there’s something between the two of you still (chemistry, love, connection, passion, and a little bit of fight!) and if this is the case you’re going to feel it too!
In fact, maybe you’re struggling to move on from your ex because you’re still in love with them too. Likewise…
9) You Still Speak Like You Used To
Now why do you think the no-contact rule is such a popular thing after a breakup? Because it’s too easy to carry on speaking which makes it harder to let go.
After all, how do you adjust from speaking how you usually would, to then speaking like “just a friend”? It’s difficult right? Especially if you’d been together a long time.
So if you didn’t do that and you’ve never stopped speaking after the breakup, then the chances are – you will still speak like you used to.
Maybe you even tell him you still love him. It’s all very confusing and potentially misleading…
The two of you aren’t fully acting like you’re separating, you haven’t fully let go, and so understandably so – your ex could indeed be waiting for you to come back.
10) They Check In On You
On the flip side, if the two of you stopped speaking, or aren’t on the same speaking terms that you once were – but your ex is secretly waiting for you – they’ll keep trying to get that back.
They’ll check in with you, find reasons to message, or “slide into your DM’s” at every opportunity (especially when you post new things… BAMN, they’re back there!)
This is because they know they need to get that back, in order to stand a chance of getting you back.
And deep down, they’re waiting for you because – like we said – they think there’s still something there, but it won’t always come easily.
Signs Your Ex Is Waiting For You
We’re half way through the key signs your ex is waiting for you. How’s it looking? What else have we got? Well, let’s continue, my friends…
11) They Ask You Lots of Questions
If your ex is waiting for you to come back to them, you’ll find that they ask a lot of questions (subtly or not) to try to understand where your head is at.
So maybe they’ll see: how you feel in general, how you feel about them, if there’s anything new going on in your life (or hint to try to see if there’s anyone new!)
It shouldn’t really be any of their concern anymore, but that’s why it’s one of the key signs your ex is waiting for you to come back to them – or hoping they will.
On a similar note, you may also find – if they’re not asking you – they’ll ask others things about you, to try to find out more elsewhere.
Again, this is to assess their chances, and to try to decide if they’re actually doing the right thing by waiting!
12) Or Reconnect With You (If Contact Was Lost)
Now the signs your ex is waiting for you varies, depending on what your breakup story has been so far.
But if they’ve waited for things to settle down, and have now started to reconnect again, that could certainly be a sign in itself. Here, have a read of this, as it all ties in together…
13) You’re Trying To Work Through Your Issues Together
Okay, next up – let’s swap it up. So far, we have a lot of signs your ex is waiting for you, based on them grafting for you.
However, it’s worth noting that if you’re trying to work through your issues together, that automatically means they’re waiting for you and are sticking it out in the hope that you can both work it all out!
If this is your case, this is just a friendly reminder that your ex probably won’t wait forever…
So make sure you don’t take this chance, and opportunity, for granted. Do what you need to do (providing, as we keep saying – that trying to get back together is actually the right thing!)
14) They’re Trying To Work On Themselves
Another key sign your ex is waiting for you, is if (regardless of whether you’re working on things or not) they know that there were mistakes they made in your relationship and things they could improve on…
So they are working on them. (For you, just as much as themselves.)
They’re not about to give up, and if this is the case- your ex will be both trying to tell you of the progress they’re making, and show you the difference too! This leads me onto my next point…
15) The Door Was Never Completely Closed
Was the breakup a difficult one? Did you both never really want it to happen? Perhaps it all started by asking your boyfriend to go “on a break”?
Whatever it is – you had your issues, and so perhaps – more than anything – you needed time and space to think, or work through things.
If this is the case, your ex – will of course – be waiting for you, to some degree.
So consider how things ended, consider what things were done and said. Did you say you “can’t do this right now”, or “you just need time apart”?
Then you could have left your ex waiting, without even realising it. So it’s good to make sure you’re both on the same page…
16) They Make a Move On You
Next up, next up, another sign your ex is waiting for you, is if they make a move on you, physically.
And you may think, “oh, that was just a mistake” or “it was just one last time”, and yes – it very well could be that…
But if you recognise the other signs your ex is waiting for you, on top of this, then there’s a good chance there was more to it and your ex is purposely trying to get the two of you back to where you once were.
And by the way… it doesn’t have to just be kissing (or more!) Your ex could be making small moves with physical touch, to ease into it. It’s usually that familiarity to reconnect again.
For this reason, how your ex acts around you, physically, can actually be a big indicator to how they feel! (Even if they themselves, struggle to put this into words!)
17) You’re Still Meeting Up (As “Friends”)
So it’s one thing having to see your ex occasionally after a breakup, if you’re in the same friendship circle or workplace.
But if the two of you are still meeting up, even though you’re no longer together, and are kidding yourself that you’re “just friends” and it’s “all good”, this can be potentially risky territory with one of you not quite on the same page…
I mean, can you actually be friends with your ex? [Click Here To Find Out!]
See, even if you see your ex as just a friend now, they may still see you as more, and want more (not to mention think you will get back together one day!)
So always stay honest and open – to avoid any hurt or confusion.
18) They Stay Close With Your Friends / Family
We’re flying through these signs now! So what other key giveaways have we got? Well, if your ex is always keeping in touch with your friends and family (and actively so), that’s a sure-fire sign.
I mean, yes – they may have got on with them, and yes, that’s hard to walk away from. But it’s also a sign that they’re not fully ready to walk away from you…
They should want a fresh start, they shouldn’t want to know what’s going on in your life and they certainly shouldn’t want any reminders.
Staying friendly with an ex’s friends / family is generally the norm, but trying to stay on their “good side” and just as connected as before, that’s not so much.
So the chances are, there’s a deeper reason behind it…
19) They Get Jealous or Overprotective
Now understandably so, if your ex is waiting for you, they’re going to get jealous, moody or overprotective at the thought or prospect of you moving on.
After all, they’re not over you, they’ve always had in your mind that you’ll get back together, and this is making it less likely to happen.
As a result, they may lash out and say unfair things if they hear of you dating anyone else.
They may also make digs if they simply have an incline you are or see something they don’t like. And don’t even get me started on if they think you’re now in a rebound relationship!
The thing is, their behaviour can be pretty understandable…
They don’t mean to react, but it hurts to think you’re moving on and is confusing for them if they didn’t think it would come to this.
To try to make things easier, they’ll always take a particular interest in your love life so that they can better see where they’re at with everything.
20) You Just Feel It
Last but not least then, you can look for the signs your ex is waiting for you (absolutely), and if it rally is the case – many of these will ring true. But on top of this, you’ll probably just feel it.
At the end of the day, you’re likely to know your ex better than anyone. You can read them in many ways that other people can’t.
So you’ll notice your own little giveaways (even if you can’t quite place them!) – and you’ll just know deep down, this isn’t completely done for them.
Now it could be wishful thinking, so don’t go from this alone. The question is however: if you’re looking for the signs your ex is waiting for you – have you actually fully let go yet too?
What To Do If Your Ex Is Waiting For You
So there we have it – the 20 key signs your ex is waiting for you. What do you do if this is the case? Well first off, ask yourself…
“How does this make me feel?”
Do you feel happy? Thankful? Guilty? Disinterested? Do you want to get back together? Do you think you will get back together? And would that genuinely be the right thing?
See the best thing you can do if your ex is waiting for you to come back to them, is take a step back and clearly evaluate the situation.
Why did you split up in the first place? Was that a valid and proper reason? Would things be different if you got back together? How? And what would you need to change if you did?
Weigh it all up, whilst being open and honest with your ex about how you feel. Because the worst thing you can do is keep them stringing along.
Be brave. Be true to yourself. And do what you’ve got to do.
Feeling confused? Then get in touch for one-to-one coaching and we’ll work it all out.
If not, I hope this has helped, and wish you the very best of luck, whichever way things take you from here. Take care!