Are things moving fast in your relationship? How do you know when your relationship is moving too fast? Well my friends, in this post, we’re going to unpick it. Here’s 10 signs your relationship is moving too fast, and – most importantly – what to do so that it still moves forward, but just at a healthier pace.
Are Things Moving Too Fast?
Find yourself wondering if your relationship is moving too fast? Or perhaps you feel like it’s not, but society is telling you, it is. It’s tricky, I get it. Because sometimes, fast can still feel so right.
To you, there may not be an issue. But remember – it’s not just you. Your pace may not be the right pace for your new partner. And your pace may to actually be the best pace for the two of you.
Why Relationships That Move Fast Fail
See as good as things may feel, relationships that move too fast are actually more likely to crash and burn. Yes you may FEEL happy, but more often than not, you’re not actually as happy as you could be.
I mean, are you becoming too dependent on this person? Are you getting the balance right? If not, why? Are you looking for this person to fill a void? Are you moving things along too fast to try to “secure” them?
Relationships that move too fast often fail because, on top of all of these things, when things move too fast:
- You don’t have enough time to truly get to know this person.
- You can therefore jump in too fast and end up with the wrong person, thinking they’re someone they’re not because you get carried away with it all.
- You’re unable to think as clearly, as logically, because you’re too close to the situation.
- When relationships move too fast, you don’t have the time to build a healthy level of trust. Trust takes time, you see. And you don’t have the time to build the strong foundations you need.
- The relationship also become too intense – smothering almost.
- You end up missing out stages of the relationship, without fully appreciating them.
- It creates an unhealthy dynamic – taken over by this person, without giving the relationship time and space to breathe and grow.
How Fast Is Too Fast in a Relationship?
But how fast is too fast in a relationship? I mean, what is considered moving too fast in a relationship?
Well, the thing to remember here is that every couple is different. So this entirely depends on the type of people you are, and the stage of your life that you’re at – what you’re looking for.
There’s not one set time frame that every single person needs to follow. “This” by one month, “this” by six, “this” when it reaches one year, two years, and so on, and so forth.
Instead, you’re better looking at the signs your relationship is moving too fast – to better gage if there’s any cause for concern.
10 Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
So what are the key signs your relationship is moving too fast? How do you know when things are moving too quickly? Well, here’s what you want to look out for –
1) You’re Spending A LOT Of Time Together
It’s exciting when you find someone you click with. You want to be with each other all the time… But you still need that space and time apart – even if you feel like you can’t get enough of the person!
If you’ve already slipped into a routine of seeing each other every night or every other night, it could be one of the signs your relationship is moving too fast. However, it’s not just about spending a lot of time together.
- Do you find you’ve gotten comfortable? You spend a lot of time together, but time just “chilling” or doing the same sort of things?
- Do you feel like you need to constantly be in contact? You feel sort of lost without them and are constantly checking your messages when you’re not together – as well as pretty much being glued at the hip?
- Do you find that you’re doing less and less separately? You don’t have that mix of also still doing things with other people, away from the two of you?
Because these are more of the warning signs. This new love in your life has taken over. As a result of this…
2) You’ve Lost Your Own Life a Little
Another sign that your relationship has become too much, too soon (and will only continue in an unhealthy way) is when you’ve lost your own life.
- You do less things with friends and family.
- You cancel on friends and family for the new man / woman in your life.
- When you do do things apart, you feel the pressure to check it’s okay with your new partner.
- Or, you don’t fully enjoy time with others anymore, as you can’t stop thinking about your loved one!
Why this is a sign your relationship is moving too fast? Because again, the trust isn’t fully there. Nor is the balance. Your new partner has become your world and you’re scared of losing that.
3) You Feel Anxious When You’re Apart
So you’re spending all this time together. When you’re apart, you should still feel the same way – happy and excited about your new relationship. If you’re not and you become anxious, needy or demanding, it’s actually one of the signs your relationship is moving too fast.
You don’t have the balance. You’ve become dependent on them. You also haven’t had enough time to develop the trust in them, and the trust in your relationship. This is probably because it went too fast so it feels too good to be true in a way.
But it’s not, not always. And it doesn’t have to crash and burn. But you do need to take a step back and realise that things are moving too fast, to then nurture the relationship instead of unintentionally suffocating and destroying it.
4) You Feel Uneasy – Or They Do
Your mind and instincts are actually amazing things. See, “If it’s right, it feels right.” And you’ll never actually fully comprehend this until you meet “the one” – your special person. Because when it happens, everything falls so easily into place.
Feeling uneasy? That’s a sign that somethings a little off… and it’s not necessarily the person, it’s not necessarily that they’re NOT the one (they could still very well be!) but the relationship how it is – isn’t quite 100% if you can’t quite relax or they can’t.
And why is it like this? Well, often because the relationship has moved too fast – like we said when we mentioned feeling anxious when you’re apart. However with this one, you may also feel it when you’re together.
- Maybe you feel like somethings going to go wrong. This could be due to genuine warning signs or relationship anxiety. Click here to establish the difference between the two.
- Maybe you find yourself reading into the things they do or questioning what they say.
- Perhaps you’re unsure if you can trust them.
- Maybe their behaviour isn’t always consistent. Things don’t quite add up.
- It could also be that you’re often doubting or are confused about how you feel!
This is because things are moving faster than you’re either ready for or are comfortable for. So you’ll get niggling feelings and everything becomes that little more complicated. This leads me onto my next point…
5) You Know Things Have Moved Fast
It sounds so simple, but sometimes we can be in denial – we tell ourselves the things we want to hear and push back the things we don’t. We try to find “reasons” or “excuses”. But you can’t always hide the truth.
See one of the biggest signs your relationship is moving too fast, is when you – and everyone around you – recognises that things have moved pretty quickly… only you can’t seem to slow down the pace.
One minute you’d just met, next you’re together – moved in, woah, woah, woah!
And sure, you may have got swept away, it may have felt right… and maybe it is right. But if it is, and this person is really the one, then what’s the rush to speed things along from here?
And I know, I get it. It feels good. Being with this person feels good. It feels difficult to slow it down – you don’t want to slow it down, so you may convince yourself there’s no problem here.
But what does your gut say? Is this the kind of pace an outsider would look on and would say is healthy?
On the flip side, maybe you rushed into a relationship because there were issues or warning signs, things that you swept under the carpet and you thought the security of a relationship would fix.
So ask yourself – if you’ve been googling the signs your relationship is moving too fast – what brought you here? Are you being totally honest with yourself? Did you get together in the right way, for the right reasons, at the right time?
6) There’s Been No Hiccups
If you’ve made it through dating, to relationships, and are still in the honeymoon phase with 0 hiccups at all, then it could too, be a key sign your relationship is moving too quickly.
Why? Because every relationship has challenges. We’re not saying they have to be great big, blowups, but as time goes on – things are going to crop up.
So if nothing has yet cropped up, and you’re still smooth sailing miles ahead, it’s an indicator that you rushed on over there.
When this happens, you don’t need to go back. You just need to recognise the fact that there will be some “rocky tides” ahead. Be realistic, as opposed to swept away in this ideal that you’re in.
It’s great that you’re going strong, but it takes time to get to know someone and without certain things happening – it’s impossible to know someone completely, and all aspects of their personality.
7) You’re Running Before You Can Walk
Another big sign your relationship is moving too fast is if you’re running before you can walk – you’re moving things along, rushing things over to the next stage, and recreating this “ideal picture” you had in your head.
Maybe you’ve been single for – what feels like a lifetime – and you finally find someone you click with, so are getting super comfortable, super fast.
Or perhaps you got into a new relationship not long after the end of you last one, and have found yourself treating your new partner in the same way you did your ex…
You want the same (or a certain level) of connection and commitment. You want to feel a certain way, you want to act like a proper couple, and so you create that or – in some cases – force that, before the relationship is fully really.
See, if you entered into this new relationship not long after the end of your last relationship, it can be tempting to treat it and your new partner in the same way you did you past relationship and ex.
You’ve reached the same “couple level” as your recent past relationship. It’s easy to do, but it’s not healthy to do. Which is why you have to recognise it!
Another similar trap with this, is getting carried away, thinking about and talking about the future and how it’s going to look.
It’s good to know what you want and is important to find someone who wants the same things, but you shouldn’t be mapping out your entire future (house, kids, wedding!) when only knowing someone a matter of months.
Are you getting ahead of yourself? Are you fantasising? Trying to make this what you’ve always wanted in your head? Think about it…
8) You Haven’t Actually “Qualified” Them
Another similar sign that your relationship is moving too quickly, is if you’re already together, but there’s still so much about them that you don’t know.
I mean, did you really qualify them properly? Did you get swept away by how they made you feel, that you didn’t stop to think about all the other things that matter?
Do their values match yours? Do they want the same things? How much do you actually know about them? How deeply do you know them? If there’s still a lot of unanswered questions, there’s a good chance your relationship has moved too quickly.
On the flip side, you may feel like you know EVERYTHING about them, because you had “heart to hearts” and opened up to them, before fully knowing if they are worth of your trust.
When this happens, you’re likely to feel so connected to them, you forget how long it’s actually been and whether you really know them enough to know what they’re actually like… or whether you can take everything they say as the truth.
At the end of the day, it does take a long time to get to know someone properly. And if you hadn’t realised this, or have just reminded yourself of it now – you just need to take a step back to put things into perspective again.
It’s not a bad thing, and getting to know them further will be exciting. But just keep in mind where you’re really at, instead of potentially getting carried away with yourself. Like we said – it goes back to running before you can walk.
9) You’re Hitting Milestones Too Fast
So what else can you look out for? How do you know if your relationship is moving too fast? Well, look at where it’s at and what you’ve reached in what length of time.
- How long did you wait before getting into a relationship?
- Did you become exclusive straight away?
- Had you met each other’s friends, family, colleagues, “Bob down the street” after a matter of weeks?
- What about moving in together? Did that happen fast?
- Did you say you loved each other crazily soon?
- Do you feel like he’s about to get down on one knee already? No, no, no, no, no!
If you take a step back and consider your timescale… and it feels rushed along at the pace of weeks and months as opposed to months and years, then you have to recognise the pace you’re traveling at and if it’s too much, too soon.
10) You Fallen Fast and Hard
Last but not least, one of the biggest reasons your relationship may be moving too fast, is because you yourself, fell very fast and hard. When this happens, it’s easy to get swept away.
See, it’s good to have these feelings – it’s good to feel so strongly for a person… amazing actually, right? But only when it’s healthy, only when it’s real, only when it’s with the right person.
How do you feel about the relationship? Are there any doubts? And where are they coming from? Because that will also come into things when determining whether things are moving too fast for you, or too fast for what would be best for the two of you.
Are Things Moving Too Fast?
So there’s 10 of the key signs your relationship is moving too fast. What’s the verdict? Are things moving too fast? Ultimately, that’s only for you to decide.
Every person, every relationship, is different, like we said. The only thing that makes it easier, is these key signs – they will remain the same. When a relationship is moving too quickly, you’ll be able to tell by these signs – by these key indicators or feelings.
So be honest with yourself, talk openly to your partner about it – and be willing to listen to their answer, without influencing it or getting upset if they don’t say what you want to hear.
Either way, this is for you. This is to make sure you give your relationship the best chance of flourishing into everything that it can be. And sometimes, that means doing things you don’t necessarily want to.
For how to slow down your relationship, if that’s what you know you need to do – click here. We’ll guide you through in a way that is – actually – surprisingly not as difficult as you’d think!
Take care. Hope this helps!