You Know There’s Such A Thing As Single By Choice?

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Another match, another message. And there’s always the ones like, “Wow, what’s a girl like you doing being single?” SINGLE – like it’s a goddam curse! Or “How on earth are you still single? I’d have thought someone would have snapped you up by now!” Oh really? So you’re saying that the reason they haven’t is some sort of reflection on me, and that I can’t just choose how ‘snap-up-able’ I am?! They’re only trying to be kind, complementary even. But sometimes it makes me wonder, do people realise there’s such a thing as being single by choice?!

Does society still see being single as this transition period – where you have to be actively dating until you can find “the one”? You can’t just be content, embracing this period of your life as a section in its own right?

If you’re single by choice, share this post on social media or send this to the guy / girl who asked. We need to show that there is such a thing as being happily single and single by choice. So let’s smash a few preconceptions here…

I’m Single By Choice, It’s Not Really That Hard To Understand

When you’re single, there’s the misconception that you’re either heartbroken, have “issues” to deal with, are “just waiting” for the right person to come along or are actively dating to try to find them. It’s as though you can’t just be single, without either SEARCHING, or there being SOMETHING seriously wrong with you.

Pffffft. Yeah right. Being single isn’t a transition period. You don’t have to spend your adult life going from one relationship to another. Being single can be a stage in your life, in it’s own right. And actually, it can be some of the best years of your life.

It’s a time of self-discovery, self-acceptance and major growth. It’s a time where you can choose each and every path you take, without being selfish. You’re living on your terms, for you, and it’s incredibly empowering.

Single By Choice

When You’re Single By Choice, You Do Things Differently

Being single by choice makes you a little bit different. It means that…

  1. You know your worth. You’re not looking for someone to complete you, and you don’t need anyone else for validation. You’re happy in yourself, truly happy. Or are certainly well on your way to being that way. This is because…
  2. You’ve taken the time to work on yourself. Being single by choice isn’t always inspired by heartbreak or loss of hope in the opposite sex. Sometimes we’re single by choice because we decide that we want this time, to ourselves, for ourselves. We know it’s the best way to skyrocket our growth.
  3. You’re not about to settle. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are. You know yourself better than ever before and you also know what you want. This makes you pickier, but it’s a good thing. It means that you’re only willing to get into a relationship with the RIGHT person, and won’t be with anyone unless you’re a good, strong, 99% sure!
  4. You’re happy by yourself. Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you’re lonely. You still have heaps of great people in your life, strong relationships with others. You’re actually very rarely alone, but when you are – you’re comfortable in your own company. And being happily single is most certainly a possible, attainable thing!
  5. You’re embracing all of life’s opportunities. Being single is a freakin’ good thing and you sure as hell know it. You’re living life to the full, saying yes to everything and doing things on your terms. Click here for some of the best advantages – you know these better than anyone because you’re living proof of them.

Now, More Than Ever, People Are Choosing To Stay Single

You can be single by choice, without any pressure or expectations. It shouldn’t be like “Oh well, one year’s up, better start looking for a life-long partner now!” But why? If you’re happy where you are, if there’s no void in your life, no set timeline for the things that you want, then what’s the rush, really?

More people are staying single. Not just for longer, but for life.

“Single life continues to be stigmatized, with single people routinely stereotyped as less secure and more self-centered than married people. They’re said to die sooner, alone and sad. 

Yet studies of people who live alone typically find that most are doing just fine; they don’t feel isolated, nor are they sad and lonely. Reports of the early death of single people have also been greatly exaggerated, as have claims that marriage transforms miserable, sickly single people into happy and healthy spouses.

In some significant ways, it’s the single people who are actually doing better. Studies have shown that people who stay single develop more confidence in their own opinions and undergo more personal growth and development. They may also have more opportunities to enjoy the solitude that many of them savor.

Click here to read the full study. It’s not something that I would personally choose to do, nor does it have to be something that’s encouraged – but it doesn’t need to be judged either. There’s no right or wrong.

Single By Choice

The Rise In Singles Is Happening For A Reason…

There are valid reasons for staying single, yet the societal expectation is that people should be in relationships by a certain age. You know what I think? FORGET THAT!

The more pressure you have on finding your life partner, the more chance you’ll end up rushing things and falling into something that isn’t quite right.

Relationships take time and work. It’s okay if you want to put this into other things. It’s nothing to be judged and it shouldn’t be something that has to be justified. Stand on your own two feet, be your own person.

Don’t rush into a relationship or force yourself to prioritise another person in your life, before you’re fully ready. Times are changing. Dating and relationships are no longer what they used to be, which calls for a major shift in societies views and expectations too.

Are you single by choice and absolutely smashing it? Then hats off to you my friends. You’re leading the way for others to follow. 👌

Here’s to confidence, freedom, and independence!


Single By Choice

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Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, with over 3 million annual readers, globally. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.

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