Stop texting your ex! Feel like you want to? Then resist the urge my friends, resist the urge! In fact, drop your phone right now (unless of course you’re reading this on it) and push it to the other side of the room. It’s a bad idea. It’s not going to achieve any good. And you can’t lose your self-respect! See, when you’re experiencing withdrawal symptoms, the temptation to call or text can be difficult to ignore. Except doing things like this will only respite you from your grief momentarily and as a result, knock you back in the healing process. If you’re still struggling and unsure how else to cope, here’s 10 things to do instead of texting your ex…
1) Text It Out On Your Notes Instead
I’ve put this first because this is my go-to solution to feeling better, almost instantly. More often than not, you want to text because you have things to say, things to get off your chest. Keeping them in can feel like it’s starting to suffocate you, so go onto the ‘notes’ section on your phone and instead text it all out on there. Write it as if you were going to send it… but of course you won’t. If you’ve not tried this before, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much it helps. Also remember – even if you were to send it, you probably wouldn’t get the response you wanted anyway (if you even got one at all!) so this way, you get the benefit of it, without the rejection.
NOTE: Your ex’s number should definitely be blocked. Don’t believe me? Well next week I’ll be publishing a post on the No-Contact Rule and why it’s an essential step in getting over your ex… So sign up for my newsletter to be notified of it. If they’re blocked and deleted, it also eases the temptation to text because you know it wouldn’t be easy to do anyway, so you kind of push it out of your mind.
2) Hit The Gym or Have a Workout
Did you know that exercise is actually nature’s painkiller? When you put your body to the test, your brain’s hypothalamus and pituitary gland produces neurochemicals called endorphins. These bring about feelings of euphoria and well-being as well as highlight the “reward” circuit of your brain. Ultimately, exercising makes you feel good, which is why a workout is one of the best things you can do if you want to stop texting your ex. It’s a healthy habit rather than a destructive one, that’s going to benefit both your mind and your body. So next time you’re feeling sh*tty, drop your phone and instead pick up a dumbbell! Burn off the frustration and temptation instead!
3) Call or Text A Friend or Family Member
Who do you turn to when times get tough? Your Mum? Maybe your sister? Perhaps your bestie? Whoever it is – they love you and they are there for you. So instead of pouring your heart out to someone who doesn’t care, speak to someone who does. Discuss the situation, get that mini therapy session in with them, but then change the topic to something else. Find out what’s going on in their world, make some plans, see what they have coming up – but shift the focus. If you’re feeling down about your ex or crush, then you’re giving them too much power over your life. Think about the other things that are going on – because there are far better things than them!
4) Get Reading, Learning or Researching
The very fact that you’re on this article right now, shows that actually – this is kind of what you’re already doing. Instead of naturally reacting to how you feel, you’re seeking out alternatives. You want to stop texting your ex, and that’s the first step. So good for you! Honestly, it’s things like this which will help to re-build you and start to make you feel better.
Once you’re done reading this, look at other things that you can learn about. Get distracted with something that will help you develop. It might be on understanding your mind and emotions, learning how to building your self-esteem, figuring out how to feel that inner self-love, or it can be totally unrelated, like swatting up on a history topic, watching a random TedTalk. The options are endless! But shift your focus onto something that will expand your mind or help you grow.
5) Head Outdoors
Similar to exercising, this is less about the activity (although stretching your legs and striding out will certainly help for the same reasons we previously mentioned too) but the fresh air and the greenery in itself will really help. In fact, nature is another natural mood booster. Have a read of this article to see the impact and benefits. Sometimes, getting out in the great outdoors is JUST what you need. The key with this one? Leave your phone at home or put it on flight mode, so you can just completely switch off with no distractions.
6) Start a New Project
If you’re in a little turmoil and thinking about texting your ex, this is a big sign that already this person has already taken up far too much of your life. It’s time to put a stop to it and help you find your spark again! Right now you might not be in the best headspace, but something to help to get you working towards that way, would be to put down your phone and start a new project.
It could be anything – big, small, short-term, long-term, something you’ve always wanted to do, something you’ve never thought about before. Maybe a DIY project in your bedroom or home, make a collage of your bucket list, make a vision board or dream board, build something, draw something, write something. There’s heaps of ideas here for things you can do at home if you’re unsure where to start.
The more creative it is, the better, because it will really pull you out of your head then and the sense of accomplishment when it’s complete makes you feel pretty damn good! Have a think, see what you can come up with… and then get to work!
7) Have a Little Pampering
Depending on how low you feel, right now, even showering could be an effort (and achievement!) This isn’t you girls. So instead of texting your ex, take some time for yourself. Have a bath, put some relaxing music on, wash your face, exfoliate, go through the whole beauty routine – especially if it’s an evening or night. Is it in the day? Then that’s even better. Book yourself in for a little spa day, have a facial, get a manicure, get those brows tidied up. This will help you even more, because it also gets you out the house and amongst company – even if you don’t particularly feel like talking at the moment.
The worst thing you can do is exclude yourself. The more alone time you have, the more you’re able to dwell on things and that’s when the temptation to text your ex really peaks. The truth is, you don’t need him. So let him go and instead surround yourself with positive people!
8) Start a New Book or TV Series
Escape out of your world for a little while and get lost in another one! The important factor with this one however is to steer clear of anything romance-related. Instead go for a thriller, a drama, an inspiring true-story. Personal development books are also pretty good. Let me know if you’d like any recommendations!
9) Jump Onto a Dating App
Now this is a controversial one potentially, but it’s important to understand – we’re not doing this because we NEED someone else, nor are we actually looking for a relationship right now. However, chatting to other people and seeing there is a big wide world out there full of exciting new potentials is a good distraction to say the least.
One of the hardest things after heartbreak is the sense of loss you feel. Something was missing, there’s an empty space and now you have to replace it. Right now you’re not looking to replace your ex with anyone else – instead you replace him or her with your hobbies, personal development, goals. But at this moment, when all you want is a quick escape, I really don’t see the harm in chatting to some other people instead of texting your ex. Give it a try! You have nothing to lose.
10) Write or Refer Back to Your “Remember List”
The last one to round up this list now and I’m ending it with one of my favourites… the ‘Remember List’. See, so often, we look back through rose-tinted glasses, remembering the best bits of a relationship and pushing out our mind the times that were actually pretty crap. To put things into perspective and pull the wool from over our eyes, I want you to create – if you haven’t already – a ‘Remember List’ of all the reasons why this person just wasn’t right for you, all those times that hurt and – if you want to go one step further – the things you need to remember when you feel in this low state.
Things like “you deserve better than this”, “staying with the wrong person was only keeping you from the right one.” Then every time you feel like texting your ex – instead, have this list on your phone and read back through it until you’ve convinced yourself that yes, texting would be the worst idea in the world and actually, you’ve totally saved yourself by not.
Phew… that was a close call, hey?! If you’ve now resisted the urge to text your ex – I want you to know how incredibly proud of you I am. Or, if that wasn’t on your radar right now, save this list so that you know what to do in the event of an ‘ex-emergency!’ You’re doing far better than you give yourself credit for, trust me. So hold your head up high, carry on with your day and stop texting your ex… at all costs!
In time this will all get easier, I promise you. Take care! Subscribe below for more support, encouragement and advice. You don’t have to go through this on your own, okay?