Do you know your own worth, as much as you perhaps may think? In this post, we’ll reveal the 10 subtle signs you don’t know your worth. WARNING: Some of these things may surprise you.
See, the obvious signs you don’t know your worth are pretty easily recognisable.
For instance, if you struggle with low self-esteem, feel insecure, are always overly-critical of yourself, often put yourself down (either in front of people and / or, in your head) and battle negative self-talk on the daily, then you can probably confidently say that you don’t know your own worth. (😅)
But what are the subtle signs you don’t know your own worth?
After all, the subtle signs you don’t know your worth are just as important to identify, because – it could well be – you’re holding yourself back more than you know, and don’t truly feel the way you want and deserve to in yourself.
Now, given that it is estimated that roughly 85% of people worldwide struggle with low self-esteem, there’s a good chance that the subtle signs you don’t know your worth are likely to be coming into play in your life, more than you currently know.
And THAT, my friends, is what we want to shed the light on today…
10 Subtle Signs You Don’t Know Your Worth
In no particular order, here’s the top 10 subtle signs you don’t know your worth, to help to get you thinking.
If any of these sound familiar, it’s helpful to recognise it and start to map it into your personal development plan, so that they no longer hold the power over your life.
So, what kind of things should you be looking for? How do you know if your sense of self worth is not quite where it needs to be? Well…
1) You have a lack of boundaries.
Having a lack of boundaries is one of the biggest signs you don’t know your worth.
You struggle to say no, you take on too much, you feel guilty or responsible for others and end up feeling drained. You struggle to express your feelings and tolerate the things you shouldn’t.
In fact, when you have a lack of boundaries, you’ll often be mistreated or “walked all over.”
You always get told you’re “so nice.” But is “nice” even a compliment anymore?
See, the fact of the matter is – you don’t value yourself enough to have the confidence to set the boundaries you want and need, and this then continues to eat away at the way you feel.
2) You’re always people pleasing.
On a similar note, if you’re always people pleasing and putting others above yourself, it shows you think they’re better than you, more worthy, and you don’t value yourself enough.
See, it’s one thing being kind, it’s another not valuing yourself enough and not thinking you’re worthy. Recognise the difference.
If you know that you’re a people pleaser, ask yourself – WHY am I doing this? Truly? What is the reason behind this?
Dig deeper as it will really help you to uncover if it’s one of the subtle signs you don’t know your worth…
3) You don’t put yourself out there.
Now this is an interesting one and typically tends to be one of the most surprising signs you don’t know your own worth.
See, I always like to say: You get what you’ll settle for, and yet, usually – you settle for what you think you deserve.
If you’re not putting yourself out there, it’s usually one of the subtle signs you don’t know your own worth, because ultimately it comes down to not feeling like you DESERVE to have more.
This could mean that you don’t put yourself out there in the sense of:
- Making new friends. You settle for fake friends or no friends, because you think “no-one would like you anyway” or there’s “something wrong with you.”
- Approaching a guy. You won’t do it. You don’t think you could do it. And sure – we’re wired to fear rejection and let our fear of rejection stand in the way when dating. But how much of it also comes down to not believing that you’re not desirable enough or confident enough to be able to do it? It’s food for thought, right? Similarly…
- Going for a promotion or starting a new side hustle / business venture. There may be things you want to do, but do you do them? No!
See you can be a “confident” person, but if you’re still holding back in areas of your life – it’s likely to be one of the subtle signs you don’t know your own worth… Not fully, anyway.
You hold back, you don’t fully push yourself, you say “no” more than you say “yes”, you’re not doing all the things you truly want to do and you’re not pushing yourself to your full potential, because – deep down – you don’t feel worthy of it all. You don’t feel like that could be “you” or that could be “your life.”
4) You’re a worrier and / or over-thinker.
So if you recognised you don’t put yourself out there enough, you may also find you’re also a worrier or over-thinker and usually then end up putting yourself off!
This is another one of the subtle signs you don’t know your worth.
Find yourself saying, “But what if this happened, or what if that happened?”
Then again – it’s because you don’t fully back yourself, you don’t fully trust yourself and ultimately, you don’t know your own worth.
And sure, anxiety can make you worry or overthink, but sometimes you use this as an excuse. And actually, often, anxiety and a lack of self worth are also linked.
Whatever it is, it’s not looking good, right? And it’s another reason to look within and ask yourself – if I valued myself more highly, if I knew I was good enough or could do this (for sure), would I worry or overthink the situation as much?
If the answer is no, then it’s identified that this is in fact one of the subtle signs you don’t know your own worth enough!
5) You keep comparing yourself to others.
Many of us have a habit of comparing ourselves to others, but this is actually another of the subtle signs you don’t know your worth.
After all, you’re using others as the measurement when you should know that YOU are the scale.
The problem with comparing yourself to others, as well, is you’ll always know yourself better than anyone else so you can find almost any shortcoming, imperfection or perceived flaw, whereas you’re not able to necessarily notice it on other people.
You’re basically in a lose, lose, battle…
Now, thankfully, there is a process for how to stop comparing yourself to others. It’s basically a habit, created by a lack of self-worth, but a habit that you can still break.
The first step, of course, however, is recognising that it’s an issue and noticing where it’s coming from. (Get to the root of the problem! 🫶)
Subtle Signs You Don’t Know Your Worth
Are some of these starting to sound familiar? For some, it may be surprising to see that you don’t know your own worth enough. But it’s not a bad thing, and it’s actually pretty common.
So what else should you be looking out for? Well…
6) You’re needy or overly reliant on others.
Whether it’s with friends, family or in a relationship – one of the subtle signs you don’t know your own is when you’re overly reliant or needy on others.
You cling onto them… Why? Well to a degree, because of a lack of confidence, but also because they define your worth which means you don’t want to lose them.
Without them, you think you’ll have nothing, you think you’ll BE nothing.
This can create controlling behaviour as a result, but it’s behaviour that is so often misinterpreted and misunderstood as others don’t understand where it’s coming from.
It can also make you put on others, not because you’re lazy but because you don’t have the confidence to do things yourself; you don’t think you CAN do it.
The problem with this, is that only makes you feel worse and strengthens your negative belief that you’re not good enough or are not worthy.
7) You neglect your own needs.
On the flip side, although you can put on others at times, you’re often – where you can – then also putting them first.
You don’t think you’re worthy, you think others are above you and – then it also goes back to the fact that – you don’t want to lose them, so you go above and beyond.
You try to keep others happy. (See how many of these subtle signs you don’t know your worth start to link? This in turn goes back to people-pleasing too!)
As a result, you often end up neglecting your own needs, not prioritising your own mental, emotional or sometimes even physical, wellbeing.
By doing this, this further erodes your self-respect. It also stops you from being able to do all the things you want and need to fulfil your potential and go after your own dreams.
8) You take things personally and / or, blame yourself.
When you struggle to know for worth, you’re always on high alert…
You’re hyper aware of rejection from others, and constantly on the look out for signs that others don’t love or value you as it then confirms your deeply-embedded beliefs.
As a result however, actions can be misinterpreted.
If you’re rejected when dating – it’s got to be something personal against you. Or, if you fail to get the job, it’s got to be because you’re not good enough, right? Or, let’s say tour boyfriend snaps at you – well, you should stop being so annoying then, hey?
Does any of this sound familiar? Then please, PLEASE take this as the reality check you need! It’s NOT you, it’s just a result of a lack of self worth and low self-esteem. 🫶
Psst, don’t miss our FREE Self Love Email Coaching Programme. That’s right, we’re here to build you up! Step by step, we’ll get your self-worth where it needs to be, and help you feel the way you TRULY deserve to about yourself. Click the text link above to SIGN UP! ☝️❤️
9) You often don’t feel like yourself.
Whether you’ve taken the time to try to get to know yourself better or not, you’re still confused about who you are. Things don’t feel right. The way you act often doesn’t feel true to you…
And that’s because you’re NOT living authentically as who you really are, as a result of your low self-esteem and not knowing your worth.
Do you often find you hold back? Don’t speak up? Go into your shell?
Do you feel like you’re desperate to start being who you really are? You’re just not quite sure what that actually looks like and how to actually do it?!
Then yes, it can be confusing. This is one of the subtlest signs you don’t know your own worth!
But once you recognise it – it’s a good thing, as it can start off the most incredible journey of self-discovery… One that builds the self worth you truly deserve!
10) You’re willing to settle.
So, what’s the final subtle sign you don’t know your own worth? Well, when you’re willing to settle… You’re willing to settle for things like:
- NOT finding your soulmate. You think you can’t or you won’t and start to talk about if you don’t find someone, when that shouldn’t even be an option.
- NOT pursuing your passion or dreams. Again, you think you can’t or wouldn’t. You don’t even allow yourself to picture yourself doing it or try taking the first steps.
- NOT having the relationship you deserve. You settle for toxic or abusive relationships, because YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR WORTH and you therefore don’t have the confidence, courage or self-respect to walk away.
Sorry for the shouty capitals here, but it’s something we really have to acknowledge and drill in, because this is one of the most dangerous signs you don’t know your worth and so you have to recognise it in order to do something about it.
The thing is – it’s time to change. Don’t give up. Let this be the reality check you need...
That’s All For This One
We’re going to round things up and leave it there. That concludes our top 10 subtle signs you don’t know your worth.
I hope you’ve found this valuable and – where needed – a little eye opening too. 🫶
Remember, identifying a lack of self-worth is the first step to re-building it, so this is actually a good thing – it’s a positive step forward.
The next step is to focus on acting on it.
Sending all my encouragement and support.
Love,
Ell_xx
