Is your intimacy in the bedroom not quite where it needs to be? Feeling stuck and unsure how to improve it? Then you’ve come to the right place! Here’s the 3 biggest things destroying intimacy in the bedroom, plus what you need to do to fix it.
Why Is Intimacy In The Bedroom Important?
Now, intimacy in the bedroom isn’t EVERYTHING. There are many different types of intimacy a relationship needs and physical intimacy is actually, just one of them.
Remember, there are also many different ways to meet your physical intimacy needs. (It’s not all about the bedroom and the bedroom alone, of course!)
But, it’s undeniably still important, right?
Physical intimacy is a fundamental part of relationship satisfaction and – most often – it goes down in the bedroom, so it’s certainly something to focus on.
3 Biggest Things Destroying Intimacy In The Bedroom
So, let’s get stuck into these 3 biggest things destroying intimacy in the bedroom, hey?
Here, we’ll run through the challenges one by one, offering solutions and suggestions to work through them. 🫶
See when it comes to the biggest things destroying intimacy in the bedroom…
1) A Lack of Motivation
The longer you’ve been with your partner, the more comfortable you – and your relationship – is likely to have become.
And this is great in many ways, but in most cases – it can take its toll on your motivation to initiate things in the bedroom. (Which is, of course, not so great!)
After all, as good as making love may be and as much as you might enjoy it – it still takes effort… Effort that, when things are comfortable and secure, you may not always feel the need to make.
See, there’s no set figure of how often a couple should make love or be physically intimate in order to fulfil their needs.
There’s not a “one size fits all”. Everyone has a different drive.
In fact, interesting – studies show it’s not always about the “quantity” but the QUALITY when it comes to relationship satisfaction from making love.
But you still have to make the effort – not only to initiate things in the bedroom but to ensure the experience is fulfilling and not just “doing it for the sake of getting it done” if you know what I mean…
How To Overcome It
So, what’s the fix? Well, when it comes to how to overcome a lack of motivation in the bedroom, you want to:
– Change the way you see it.
Stop seeing it as a “chore” and remind yourself why it ‘s what YOU want, something that you enjoy, something that connects the two of you and strengthens your relationship. Shift yourself out of a negative state or frame of mind.
– Find ways to spice it up.
If you’ve fallen into a routine, that doesn’t help with motivation, as you always know what to expect. So switch it up a bit. Use these simple, saucy surprises for your partner – to not only re-ignite the excitement for them, but for you, too.
Discuss with your partner different ways you can mix it up so that you can make it more exciting again. See what they suggest, how they feel and what they want to do.
It’s tough questions like this that only make you closer and help you reconnect again.
– Have a go at a couples intimacy challenge.
Intimacy challenges are a great way to re-ignite excitement and motivation in your relationship when it comes to couples intimacy issues.
Why? Well because it makes it fun, playful and gives you the much needed accountability to keep you on track!
There’s actually plenty of intimacy challenges around. I mean, working through the different types of kisses is a great challenge in itself and the perfect place to start!
Alternatively – swat up on the different ways to be intimate in a relationship and create your own 7, 14 or 30 day challenge from that!
Psst, Intimacy Issues Can Also Create a Lack Of Motivation
Before we move on from this point, I want to mention that specific intimacy issues can also create a lack of motivation for intimacy in a relationship.
These can be both mental and / or physical.
But that is when you should home in on the issue itself and consider: “what can help me to overcome this?” then really work through it properly.
2) A Lack of Confidence
Low self-esteem is undoubtably another one of the biggest things destroying intimacy in the bedroom, and – the funny thing with this one is – you can actually be and feel pretty confident as a whole, but when it comes to the bedroom – it’s a totally different story!
The thing is, a lack of confidence in the bedroom stops you:
- Doing the things you want to do.
- Being all that you can be!
- Feeling like you.
- Initiating things in the bedroom.
- Enjoying it as much as you could.
- Ultimately – having the same experience.
- Or being as active or open in the bedroom as a whole.
How To Overcome It
So, what’s the fix? Well, when it comes to how to overcome a lack of confidence in the bedroom or a lack of confidence as a whole, you want to genuinely take the time to home in on that low self-esteem.
Work through how to feel confident in the way that you look, take time to build yourself back up. Discuss how you feel with your partner so that they can support you with it too.
It’s a long process and – again – not a “one size fits all”, but recognising that it’s an issue and prioritising it enough to actually work through it, is absolutely the first set.
3) Bad Habits
This leads us onto intimacy-destroyer no.3 – which is bad habits.
See, you may WANT to have an intimate night in the bedroom, you may have the CONFIDENCE to initiate it, but bad habits get you distracted…
We’re talking bad habits like:
- Binge watching TV until it gets too late and you’re both too tired.
- Scrolling through social media instead of connecting with your partner.
- Staying downstairs too long, when your partner’s already come to bed.
- Losing track of time (in whatever way) so that it’s then no longer on the cards.
- And even – settling for a relationship where you let intimacy slip!
These are just a few examples – try to consider which bad habits end up resulting in the two of you no longer connecting that night.
How To Overcome It
The good news is, when it comes to bad habits that are destroying intimacy in the bedroom, you can follow this step-by-step process to work through them. Here, have a read…
That’s right – we’ve mapped out a complete plan of action for you already, as we want to tackle the small stuff BEFORE it becomes the “big stuff” that ends up breaking your relationship down.
Sometimes, it starts simply with a decision, so decide now to break these bad habits, decide now to reignite the flame in your relationship again… To spark it all back up!
That’s All For This One
So there we have it – that covers 3 of the biggest things destroying intimacy in the bedroom, but (more importantly), what you can do about it.
Keep working to keep your relationship healthy, happy, fulfilling and strong. (Trust me, it’s well worth it!)
Wishing you all the best.
Love,
Ell_xx
