17+ Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex (Like… Ever!)

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Wondering what is and isn’t okay after a breakup? Want to know if there’s any things you should never say to your ex? Well, you’re right – there most definitely is. And we’re about to reveal it now!

See, it’s natural and normal to feel hurt after a breakup. It’s going to take time to feel better after a breakup.

But there’s certain things you shouldn’t say and lines that shouldn’t be crossed, no matter what…

What Should You not Say To Your Ex?

So, what exactly is it that you shouldn’t say to your ex?

Well, as a guideline you want to avoid anything that’s going to make the situation more difficult for the both of you, or anything that you will look back on and feel bad about.

After all, you want to leave this relationship with your head held as high as you can – not because you care how you look necessarily, but because you don’t want to have as many regrets or ruminations. 

Saying the wrong things after a breakup is only going to put YOUR recovery journey back, if you then keep going over it. So this is about helping YOU out, more than anything.


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You Shouldn’t Be Speaking To Your Ex Now Anyway…

Also remember, it’s over, done. Any contact at this stage should only be absolutely necessary. (And no, that doesn’t even include the actually-helpful questions to ask your ex!)

There’s a reason why you should block your ex and go no contact… A very valid reason at that. So most things at this point are things that you shouldn’t say to your ex.

Wondering if you should or shouldn’t say something to your ex? 

The simple answer is – NO, don’t say it or send it!

You don’t need to. You don’t really want to. (Because let’s be fair, the response you’re likely to get won’t be what you’ll really want either.) You don’t have to say it. (It will add no value now.) So don’t!

Things You Shouldn't Say After a Breakup

17+ Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

To give you a clearer guideline, we’ve pulled up 17 things you should never say to your ex – the absolute no-go’s. This includes saying things like…

1) “I hate you.”

You may feel like you hate them. Gee, maybe you’ve spotted all the signs your ex hates you too. But saying so it is not necessary and actually – it just comes across as childish. On the flip side…

2) “I still love you.”

Again, this is another thing you should never say to your ex, because – right now – they don’t need to know.

You’ve broken up for a reason and if you’re meant to get back together, that time is not yet now. Work needs to be done. Changes need to be made.

So saying you still love them, no matter what the situation, will not help things right now. It will only make things more painful or more complicated, so leave it out.

3) “Please don’t do this.”

I know, I know, I’ve been there. Breakups hurt, and there may be a point where you feel like you’d do ANYTHING to stop it from happening.

But take a deep breath, distract yourself if you can, and clear your head before you try to beg.

Don’t lower yourself to that, beautiful. You don’t need to and it’s totally not you. Remember…

“If it’s the right decision for them, it’s the right decision for you. The right person is out there. The right person will love you, value you, and never let you go. So although it hurts, this is a blessing in disguise. You don’t need your ex back. The things that are meant for you, are coming. Remember that.

Things You Shouldn't Say To Your Ex

Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

What other no-go’s do we have, when it comes to things you should never say to your ex? Well…

4) “Just give me one more chance.”

Again, it goes back to the desperation, and hey – we’re not judging but we are here to try to help.

The truth is, if your ex wanted you and thought you was “the one” then they would.

And sure, maybe you’ve made mistakes – but the chances are, it’s not all on you. And if it is, it’s all about learning from it now.

Don’t worry, you’ll get through this, but you’ll be far more thankful if you don’t say the things you’ll look back on and kick yourself for saying. You’re not speaking like your true self right now!

5) “I can’t do this.”

You can, and you will. But if you say this, it’s almost like you’re trying to guilt your ex into coming back. That’s not right or fair, so this is most certainly another one of the things you should never say to your ex. Similarly…

6) “I’m miserable without you.”

This may be true. Maybe your ex is miserable too. But your ex doesn’t need to know, nor will it change the situation now. You’ve had to go separate ways.

As harsh as it sounds, you’re not their concern now. You need to focus on yourself and they need to focus on themselves.

So although the separation is painfully hard, you have to be brave and turn to others for support and guidance. It can’t be on your ex anymore.

Put your energy into improving yourself and the way you feel!

7) “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Don’t make promises like this. It’s not fair on them and it keeps you stuck.

You may notice the signs your ex is waiting for you, but you don’t want to be that ex, nor should you want them to be.

Breakups are hard but life moves on and you need to, too.

Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

Why It’s Easy To Say Hurtful Things After a Breakup

Getting over your ex, especially if you still love them, is a process.

You’ll move through the stages of sadness onto anger, and this can – in some ways – be one of the most dangerous times.

Be sure to not run the risk of saying hurtful or nasty things that you’ll only then regret. As easy as it could be to do in the moment, when you’re feeling but not thinking…

Just try to remember – it won’t make you feel better. If anything, it’ll only make you feel worse, because you don’t really want to inflict pain like this, and this isn’t really you.


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Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

Things you should never say to your ex out of anger include common phrases like…

8) “Well, this is your loss, not mine.” / “I’m better off without you.”

9) “You’re going to regret losing me.”

10) “You’ll never find anyone as good as me.”

11) “I never really loved you anyway.” / “I was just using you.”

12) “I hope you’re miserable without me.”

13) “You never deserved me.” / “You don’t deserve anyone.”

14) “This was all your fault.”

15) “I’ve moved on and found someone better anyway.” / “I’ll find someone better than you. You’re nothing. You’re no-one.”

16) “I’m glad it’s over. You’re [insult here.]”

17) “I wish you would [something nasty / brutal here.]”

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Leave it out 🖤

Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex

That’s All For This One

See at the end of it all, you know what’s right and wrong. Right now, it’s just a little difficult to think clearly, amongst all the waves of emotions that breakups bring.

But be proud of yourself for how well you’re coping. You’re doing far better than you think!

The very fact that you care about saying the wrong things, says a lot about you. So show yourself the self compassion you deserve. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this.

Sending all my support.

Love,
Ell_xx

Things You Should Never Say To Your Ex
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Author
Ella Stearn
Ell is a Breakup, Dating & Relationship Specialist & Coach, gaining over 7.5 million global readers to date. As the Creator of Forgetting Fairytales, her mission is to help you learn to love yourself, find the right person to give your love to, then make it a love that truly lasts.

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