So you’ve been on that first date. It went well. A second date is now on the cards! But what does a second date mean to a guy? Is a second date serious? Why is the second date so important? And what should you think about it? How should you go into it? So many questions, I know, I know! So, let’s start from the top, shall we?
How Do You Know What It Means?
First off, is it possible to know what a second date means to a guy? After all, isn’t everyone different?
Well, yes. Absolutely! You’re not a mind-reader, so it’s impossible to know 1000% for sure.
However, there are some generalities about second dates and what they mean – so we can go off these.
We can also gage what a second date means to a guy based on his behaviour towards you, and break it down that way to get a little clearer on where his head is at.
Does It Matter?
Now, the second date is still very-much early days. It’s great that you’ve gotten to the second date as 60% of dates stop at the first! But, you’ve still got a long way to go.
You’re only just getting to know each other, really. And there’s a lot yet to learn about one another!
It can be valuable to know what a second date means to a guy, as it makes you understand his intentions when it comes to dating, a little clearer.
You can also make sure you have the same dating standards and it clears up any confusion.
Knowing what a second date means to a guy shouldn’t necessarily be the primary intention however.
Instead, you want to gage, as a whole – what dating means to him and where he’s at in comparison to you. (Which is one of the key things you need to know by the third date anyway! So it’s good to gain clarity over this now!)
Why Is The Second Date So Important?
Despite the second date not being the “be all and end all”, the second date is still important.
I mean the second date is certainly more important than the first date in many ways. After all, it means you have a small foundation on which to build something… It’s not just about first impressions anymore. You can now start to dig a little deeper.
It also means the first date was a success, so you’re probably going to want to keep that going!
The second date is still not necessarily a HUGE deal however.
It’s a good thing, a positive step forward and something to celebrate about if you usually get stuck at the first date (for sure!) But it’s not something to feel too overwhelmed or pressured about. See…
Is The Second Date Serious?
Because the second date is still such early days, it’s impossible for it to be TOO serious. I mean, it’s not like the guy is about to get down on one knee. (Eek! Yes, there is such a thing as too soon to propose!)
However, studies show “people who are serious about finding a committed partner are more than 70% more likely to go on a second date.”
This means it’s already more likely to be potentially more serious later in the line. It also means – if you value your time – you want to start to use it as an opportunity to better qualify your date.
- How do they feel about dating?
- What are they looking for?
- Where are they at?
- What are they all about? I mean, who really are they as a person and how well does this gel with you?
You don’t have to have all the answers on the second date alone, but if this is the second time you’re not both investing your time in one another – it does make it slightly more important to make sure that it’s time well spent. (Unless of course, you’re simply happy and enjoying their company, in which case – there may not be such a rush!)
What Does a Second Date Mean To a Guy?
So, what does a second date mean to a guy, and how can you establish what it means to the guy you’re dating to get some interesting / potentially important insights?
Well, let’s start with what second dates tend to mean, generally.
See if you reach that second date stage, it typically means:
1) He Enjoyed The First Date!
Let’s start with the FACTS. And the fact is – if a guy wants a second date – there’s a good chance he enjoyed the first. This is a good start – whichever way you look at it.
This actually leads me onto the next key fact however…
2) He Wants To Get To Know You More
Whether he knows how he feels about you yet, or what he thinks is between you, there’s no denying – if a guy wants a second date, he wants to get to know you more. The interest is (to whichever level) there, which again, is definitely a positive!
3) There’s At Least Some Attraction There
Now we don’t want to make any assumptions, but a fairly confident assumption we CAN make, is if a guy wants a second date with you – he is (almost certainly!) attracted to you – at least to some degree.
After all, if he wasn’t – but you still got on – he’s probably just friend zone you there and then, and suggest meeting up as friends again. But he hasn’t done that. He’s asked you or agreed to, another date.
This means there’s at least something potentially there.
REMEMBER: It’s easy to make fast judgements, especially if you’re overly picky when dating and very-much set in your ways when it comes to your “type.”
However, it is possible to find someone more attractive, or for attraction to grow over time. So – quick tip – try not to rule someone out too quickly based on appearance, if there is still that connection between the two of you.
4) He’s Open To Where It Goes
Now, this guy hasn’t made any decisions yet… And that’s a GOOD thing!
It means you can start to move past the artificial stuff that you’ll inevitably have to touch on in the first date, and get to move onto more of the fun questions; more of the personal questions that actually mean something to you, and tell you more about him!
From here, seeing how open he is to this, and how much effort he puts in with you – will also be insightful. But that’s the exciting part: you don’t know where it’s going just yet, and where it can go! (Because it could well lead exactly where you want it too, still!)
5) And Willing To Put More Time Into It
As you know all too well I’m sure, dating takes time and effort. (And a lot of it!)
It’s also easy to get dating burnout because of choice overload, and having to go through the same thing over and over again, often for it to not even go anywhere and for you to have to start the same process all over again…
It’s TOUGH. But that means that:
- Not only has this guy stuck with it and is in the cycle again – now giving you a chance.
- But it also means that you are the “chosen one!” Or at least one of the chosen ones! Out of a world of people, this guy has not only put his time into speaking to you and meeting you, but he’s now continuing to do so. So it’s certainly a complement and shows that there’s something there – just like there is with him, for you!
What Does a Second Date Mean To a Guy?
These are generally the five key things we know for sure, about what a second date means to a guy. It’s pretty standard for ANYONE who says yes to a second date!
But how else can you determine what a second date means to a guy? Well, as we said, you have to look at his behaviour and then tie that into what it means.
So let’s break down some of the most common examples.
I mean, What Does a Second Date Mean To a Guy If…
6) If He Planned The Second Date FAST!
If a guy planned your second date fast, it either means he loved his first date with you and is genuinely excited, so can’t wait to see you again.
Or, it could be that he’s got a pretty sturdy qualifying process and wants to know where it’s going! In this case – look at how much effort he makes, and if he does make the effort to speak and get to know you properly, in between meeting.
It could also just be that his standards and your standards are different. Maybe what you see as fast, isn’t especially fast for him. Either way, it’s good that the interest is there and there’s always ways to take things slow when dating if it does start to progress too quick.
7) If You Didn’t Expect a Second Date
Maybe the first date didn’t go as well as you wanted, yet he wants another date and you’re now surprised. This suggests that either:
- The date didn’t go as badly as you thought! Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself or setting your expectations too high. In which case, there’s now another opportunity for you to better assess things, without so much pressure put on.
- If it really did go badly (in parts) and this was down to you, it shows he wants to give you a second chance. Perhaps he knows that behaviour wasn’t entirely “you”, and he’s seen enough to know there’s more worth exploring. This is a great sign, so try to let go of any mistakes of the first date and give it a fresh chance to really be your authentic self!
- If the first date didn’t go as well as you’d have liked in some ways because he messed up, him now wanting a second date shows he’s either ignorant to that fact, or wants to make up and prove himself now. Remember, we all make mistakes, so this may be something still worth doing.
Dating isn’t straight forward or black-and-white, especially nowadays, so it’s good to be open-minded.
8) If He Makes a Big Effort With Plans
If you’re bogged down with bad dating experiences or toxic past relationships, when a person then does treat you right and put a lot of effort in, it can be easy for you to question it.
What is this? What’s going on here? Is there something deeper going on that I’m not seeing?!
But if a guy is making a big effort with plans – his intentions could well, just be very pure. He’s a nice guy, he knows how to treat a lady right and actually – he probably really likes you and see’s potential with you, which is why he’s trying to impress you!
Interestingly, a study was conducted with 1,100 former PlentyOfFish users who are now married. This found that more than 65 percent of them went out for a meal on their first date with the person who is now their spouse.
Now this isn’t a particularly crazy date idea. Dinner is quite standard! But it’s effort, right? It’s more than just a simple coffee. (With coffee-dates taking the number one spot for the most popular first dates!)
So if he’s putting effort into your dates early on – to go to nice places and do nice things together, not only is it a sign he kind of likes you, but it also means the relationship has got far more potential to go somewhere because he’s willing to do things like that with you.
9) If He Asks You Lots of Questions
If a guy asks you lots of questions on a first or second date – he could just be an inquisitive person, or trying to keep conversation flowing. (He doesn’t want it to become awkward, after all!)
However, if he asks you questions about dating, what you’re looking for, and where you’re at. Then – on top of that – you’re going on a second date, well: there’s a good chance he is proactively looking to meet the right person and so is “sussing you out” to see if you’re on the same page.
He wants something serious. This means that the second date can still be fun, but it is likely to be more serious for him, and more important. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It depends if you’re in the same place or not. (Which hopefully you are!)
10) You’re Feeling CONFUSED!
Now the chances are, if you’re googling “what does a second date mean to a guy”, you’re unsure about how he feels and where you’re at. If this is the case, ask yourself, “why?”
- Is he giving you mixed messages? Do you feel like he’s playing you, potentially here?
- Is he coming on too strong and love-bombing you? (Something you definitely need to be aware of!)
- What is it that you’re questioning and where is this coming from? Your mind or his behaviour?
See one of the main purposes of a second date is to get clearer on how you feel about a person, so it’s perfectly fine if he too, is not 100% sure how he feels about you; or if you’re not 100% sure what to make of him just yet either.
You don’t need to have all the answers straight away and you certainly don’t need to go into detective mode. Just be able to spot out any early red-flag warning signs, and if there’s nothing hugely of concern there – make the most of it. Have fun with it!
Take Each Step As It Comes…
Some people will only go on a second date with someone with whom they feel a real connection. For others, they’re far more open-minded.
So like we said at the start, answering “what does a second date mean to a guy?” will vary from person to person and sometimes be harder to tell for some people than others.
The best thing you can do is focus on YOU, and what the second date means for YOU.
How are you feeling? What are you looking to get out of it? Or are you simply wanting to enjoy it at this stage? (Which – by the way – is 100% okay!)
Either way, I hope this post has helped to make things a little clearer.
Good luck with the rest of your dating journey, and remember – I’m here to help guide you if you need. Take care!