I always dreamed of my “Happily Ever After.” So right now – to be living a version of it, I honestly couldn’t feel luckier or happier.
But the biggest thing I’ve realised? “Happily Ever After” isn’t necessarily what you think it is. It also looks different at different stages of your life, depending on who you are and what you want.
After all, your Happily Ever After is based in the present moment; projecting on what the future is likely to look like (and how happy it’s likely to be!)
It’s not at a set, end destination as such (other than the fact that happiness is at its core), so it may also change as time goes on.
The good news is – living your best “happily ever after” life is far more attainable than you may think. (Even right now. Even if you haven’t got everything you’ve ever dreamed of 100% in place.)
Here, let me explain…
What Is a Happily Ever After?
When you think of that “Happily Ever After”, you tend to picture what the fairytales portray, right?
It’s always that beautiful Princess with her perfect Prince Charming, and the assumption that they’ll now be together, forever, with no more challenges coming their way.
(Pfft! As if that’s real life!)
The thing is, by definition, happily ever after actually means:
“to live happily for the rest of one’s life.”
It doesn’t mean you have to be at the END of your life to be living your “happily ever after.”
It just means you have to be happy right now, and have everything in place to continue to be able to “live happily for the rest of ones life”, as per the definition.
This also means it’s actually nothing to do with anyone else. It’s about whether YOU have everything you need to be able to live happily.
This gives you tremendous power, because it’s no longer dependent on another person.
Your Happily Ever After is all to do with YOU and how you feel… Both in yourself and in the life that you’re living.
I mean, look at it this way…
Who is the ONLY person to determine whether or not you are happy? YOU. Who is the person who knows what makes you happy? YOU. And who holds the power in determining how happy you are and will be? You. You. And that’s right… YOU!
You are the only person who can create your “happily ever after.”
That’s why, even if you were to find your perfect Prince or Princess “Charming”, it’s not even a given that you’ll have that happily ever after anyway.
Think about it:
- If you found the right person, but were still being weighed down by trauma of past relationships, could you really have that complete “happily ever after?” Even if you didn’t sabotage the relationship in the process, can you really say you are completely happy, still dealing with the issues of the past? Not really. Not completely.
- Similarly, let’s say you have the right relationship. You also have the other things you want in your life – like the body, the career, the freedom. Does that always means complete happiness and being able to live happily for the rest of your life? No. Unfortunately not. If you’re not happy in yourself, you still won’t be fully happy in your life and so won’t truly have your “happily ever after.”
- And hey, I don’t want to sound all doom and gloom, but the person you could THINK is your Prince Charming could actually be an imposter – a fake. They could break your heart, even if you do all the right thing, and then it’s your “happily ever after” shattered. Or is it?… See this is what I want to explore here…
If Your “Happily Ever After” Comes From Within…
If your Happily Ever After comes from within, if you’re able to build yourself up so that you:
- Feel good in yourself, and back yourself completely.
- Will act and stay true to you – no matter what.
- Know how to manage your mind & emotions to deal with whatever comes your way.
- And basically just equip yourself with all of the skills, knowledge and foundations to have a happy life, regardless of your relationship status…
… Then surely, that’s the definition of living your “happily ever after” life, right?
Being able to get in this position is important – not just for you and yourself, but for your love life.
It enables you to, in turn, start to write the love story you really want and deserve. (Even if there’s a few extra twists and turns that you didn’t expect in the process!)
See, we know you have to love yourself in order to be truly happy in yourself and your life.
But it’s also true that you have to love and believe in yourself before you can give your love fully and completely, in its purest form.
You Love Others Better When You Love Yourself…
When you don’t have that love and confidence in yourself:
- You’re not able to fully be yourself in the relationship. You’ll hold back because you don’t have the confidence to act as if you would if no-one was there. This is pretty-much a tragedy (no exaggeration!) because the person who’s fallen in love with you, loves you for you and so would love and appreciate seeing the funny, silly, quirky sides of you, that make you, you. You shouldn’t be having to hold back everything and all that you are!
- You’re also less likely to act the way you want to in the relationship. A lack of self love and self confidence so often creates worries, insecurities, doubts, anxiety and a struggle in feeling settled & secure in the relationship. This all has an impact and can start to take its toll, taking away from who you both really are and what the two of you actually have.
- What’s more, a lack of self-worth will keep you stuck in the wrong relationships, being treated in ways that you don’t deserve – which stops you from finding someone who is truly worthy of you and being able to give your love to them instead! You’re putting your happily ever after on hold essentially. (Something I was certainly guilty of doing in the past.)
My Happily Ever After
Now I wanted to create a brand new Happily Ever After section on my blog, because that’s what we’re all working towards, right? That’s the end goal?
It’s all about creating our OWN happily ever after – but forgetting the fairytales and instead, building it in a way that actually works in real life.
As mentioned – this is primarily down to you, and how you feel in yourself. But for for the purpose of Forgetting Fairytales, I’m going to share my love story and how it develops too…
After all, when I first launched this blog I was pretty broken hearted. I’d had a lot of bad experiences when it came to love & relationships and, in all honesty, I was completely worn down by it all.
My Happily Ever After Love Story…
I started Forgetting Fairytales as I wanted to channel my pain into something positive…
To learn, grow, and to work out key STRATEGIES for the biggest breakup, dating & relationship challenges, so that no matter what happens, you still feel like you’re in control… knowing that you can and will get through it (and can do so, faster and easier than you think!)
See I wanted to not only help myself, but also help others from the lessons I would learn too…
Fast forward 3 years and I’ve certainly done that! I’m now averaging over 3 MILLION annual readers, and hear daily of the positive impact my writing is having (which is truly amazing and makes me feel super warm and fuzzy inside!)
In this time, I’ve also been lucky enough to meet a man who makes me happier beyond belief, showing me the healthiest love I’ve ever had in my life. So I want to share that with you…
I want to share my real-life and not-totally-perfect-but-beautifully-amazing “happily ever after” love story.
I want to share what it CAN be like, because in the past – I didn’t even think this was possible, myself.
It will also be nice to have a space for me – to write in the style I love the most, and to be able to look back on my own story, my own progress, and the amazing chapters my boyfriend and I are now writing together.
See, it’s still early days for us, and hey – you never know what can or will happen…
But if my heart and my soul (and even my mind!) are right on this one (FINGERS CROSSED!), I truly think I’ve met the love of my life. And so, I hope this will be a section of my site that I’ll be able to look back on and treasure.
So within My Happily Ever After section, I’ll have a mix of posts with:
You can use the tags to navigate between the two, or read straight through them all!
Where To Go From Here
So as you can see, right now, this Happily Ever After section is BRAND NEW!
But, stay tuned and check back, as there’s plenty in the pipeline, being published over the coming weeks & months.
“Speak” soon!
Love,
Ell_xx
