Oh boy, it’s happened again – you’ve caught feelings. Those damn, dreaded feelings! Whether it’s infatuation, or because you’re falling in love, it can feel like a pretty risky place to be. After all, you’ve finally found someone you’re into, everything seems to be falling into place. You don’t want to lose what you have or have to start over. You’ve found someone you actually click with! You want this to be the ‘real deal.’
But what if it’s not? What if this doesn’t work out? Well my friends, it may not be ideal, but I want you to know that it will still be okay. You’ll be okay…
You might have put all your eggs in one basket now. Maybe it’s the right time, or maybe it was a little too soon. I don’t know. But I’m guessing you probably did the thing that you felt was right for you. Only now you feel totally invested in this and it is scary. Trust me, I know.
You’ve caught feelings, you’ve gotten close and you feel very vulnerable now. Perhaps you’re starting to second guess things – are they really the right person? Do they think I am? Are they starting to go cold with me?
Because that’s the real kicker, isn’t it? When you let someone in and you feel like your feelings may not be reciprocated. They change their mind, or go cold with you. It’s like, as soon as you show your interest fully, they start to lose theirs.
But does that mean we shouldn’t open up? We shouldn’t give things a chance or express how we feel?
No way! Because then you miss out on all of the juices of love & life!
The issue isn’t actually in telling someone you like them. The issue is continuing to tell them just how much you like them. It can make them get too comfortable, too fast and start taking you for granted. It’s like, okay – they’ve done the groundwork, they’ve kind of swept us off our feet. Then what? We’re all theirs? That’s it? No, no, no, no, no, my friends. The journey doesn’t stop there.
They’ve still got to prove themselves, and continue to prove themselves. Just like we’ve got to be the best version of ourselves, and continue to be that too.
So what I’m saying is – when you’ve caught feelings, try not to get so invested. Feel your feelings without any fear. Feel the love, the rush, the excitement. But feel it for what it is, without putting any extra value or expectations on it. You like this person, you’re enjoying getting to know this person, you see potential there. But that’s all it is right now – potential.
Just because you’ve caught feelings for someone doesn’t mean THAT’S IT! They are the one. They have to be the one. You don’t want anyone else now. Because hey, you have this big thing called… feelings!
REALITY CHECK: You’ve caught feelings before and – if things don’t work out with this person – you will undoubtably still catch them again, with someone else. Someone even more suitable…
And you don’t need to focus on that. You don’t need to anticipate things going wrong, but at the same time, you should never ever act on the fear of what would happen if they don’t work out the way you want them to. You can’t make that end result all big, bad and doom & gloom! (Because really that’s not the case!) You need to stay level-headed. To remind yourself that you are still in the ‘assessment’ stage.
You’re both still just getting to know each other. It’s a great thing that you’ve been able to connect with this person, to let them in and open your heart to them. But that doesn’t mean that you need to put them on a pedestal and forget your own worth. Feel like you wouldn’t ever find anyone as great as them again. Of course you would!
You are still the strong, beautiful independent woman that you were before you met them. You’re open to love, you’re open to things developing. But only if they consistently stay true to who you think they are, and continue to put the effort in with you.
If things start to fizzle out or feelings aren’t 100% reciprocated – don’t cling onto it.
If you give something everything you’ve got, you can never look back with regrets. And if you give all of that and it still doesn’t work out, then it quite simply was not meant to be.
Finding love is a journey, but remember – catching feelings for someone isn’t the end destination. It’s just the beginning…
And you don’t know how long this leg of the journey is going to last. Things could quite easily change path. Let’s look at it this way… Think of it as being on a train, flying through the track that is called life. (Here, let me give you a little visual 😉)
You hop on that train – young, wild and free! As you meet different people, in different places, from different walks of life, you’ll stop off with them for a while, get to know them a little more. You’ll learn, you’ll grow, you’ll laugh, maybe you’ll start to love. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll stay there forever.
Sometimes we catch feelings for people who aren’t our Forever people. Then we jump back on that train and continue our journey on our own, moving onto even better and more beautiful things.
Sometimes it is right, and maybe they will join you on your adventure – moving onto the next place, and the next place as you continue on the train. But even then, you don’t know how far you will go together. Even then, you might reach a point where it’s their time to stop off at the next destination and your journey together will end.
But does that mean that you also stop there? No. You will always keep moving forward. Whether that’s with someone else, or on your own.
Remember, The Right Person Will See Your Value & They Won’t Let You Go…
When you meet someone and you just click with them; when you’re both in the same place and want the same things; when you find your values & morals align, then you know that you can potentially embark on something really special.
You don’t need to rush it. Things will progress naturally at their own pace. But you don’t need to fear it going wrong either, because if it’s meant to be, it will be.
The most important thing you can do is know yourself and know your worth.
If someone doesn’t see that or appreciate that, then they’re probably further behind you in their journey of self-discovery. They’re not ready yet. They’re not ready for you. They’ve probably not figured themselves out yet, let alone figured out what they want.
So if they’ve gotten to know you, if they’ve clicked with you, but still can’t fully appreciate what’s standing right in front of them, know that it doesn’t take away from who you are. It’s no reflection on you. It’s just a reflection of where they’re at. Not even who they are as a person, because they could be such a ‘catch’ too. It’s simply about where they are on their journey and where you are on yours.
It might be a case of the right person, wrong time – and you’ll end up as ‘the one that got away!’ But that actually means they’re still not completely the right person… Because the right person will see your value. You won’t have to convince them of it, you won’t have to persuade them of anything or work hard to have them stay. They’ll see it, they’ll know and they won’t let you go.
Whichever way this goes, it will work out how it’s supposed to. It will work out in a way that is best for you.
And I know you want this person to be your Forever Person. They may be, they may not be. But you can’t force things, you can’t rush things and you can’t be afraid of it all falling apart. Sometimes it has to – to bring the two of you closer, or move you forward to who you’re meant to be and who you’re meant to be with.
Every single person comes into our life at a different time, for a different reason. I’ve met people who have been there to help me through sections of mine, who started as something and grew into something else. Everyone is teaching us the things we need to know, and building us up into the person we are.
So whether this person who you’ve caught feelings for, is around for a long time or just a short section – enjoy it. Live in the moment. Appreciate what you have here and now and be happy about it. Just know that even if it doesn’t last, it’s because better things are coming and you will – in time – be even happier. I promise.
Take care. Stay strong. And pssst, subscribe to my blog below if you want a virtual friend rooting for you, every step of the way (that’s me by the way!)
Lots of love,
Ell_xx
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