Find yourself asking, “Does my ex miss me?” Wondering if he / she is struggling in the same way? Well, instead of going into detective mode – here’s 10 key signs your ex misses you, to help to make it clearer.
Why Are You Asking, “Does My Ex Miss Me?”
Before we look at the signs your ex misses you, I want you to ask yourself, why are you even asking, “does my ex miss me?”
Is it because you miss them, and you want them to miss you too so that there’s a chance you could get back together?
And, if that’s the case, would that – honestly speaking – even be the right thing?
Or maybe it’s an ego thing? Maybe you want to know your ex misses you because that makes you feel better about yourself. You’re relying on others to validate your worth.
Neither of these reasons are helpful or healthy, if we’re being perfectly honest.
So we’re going to run through the signs your ex misses you, but I want you to make yourself a promise… I want you to promise that after you’ve read this and you’ve come to the conclusion – whatever it may be – you’ll let it go.
I know you may be torn, I know that breakups are so unbelievably difficult. But going over things like this – putting all that thought and focus on it, it’s not going to move you forward. In fact, it’s only going to set you back.
So if you need to try to figure it out for peace of mind – fine. Let’s get to the bottom of it now. But to help yourself moving forward, try not to go over it.
Your ex now, is irrelevant. So instead of focusing on them, focus on you. Deal? Alright then.
Signs Your Ex Misses You
So what are the signs your ex misses you? How do you know if your ex misses you? Well, here’s some of the key things you will most likely notice. Have a read and see how many ring true.
1) They Can’t Stop Speaking To You
So first up, one of the key signs your ex misses you – or at the very least is in denial / unprepared to fully let you go just yet – is if they can’t stop speaking to you!
You’ve broke up, it’s over, but the adjustment is not quite there.
So maybe they’re still speaking to you like they used to, perhaps they’re still replying straight away, or they could be playing it cool… it doesn’t matter.
The contact is still there, when – really – it shouldn’t be. And that’s because they still want / feel like they need you in their life.
2) They Find Reasons To Reconnect
If you’re not speaking as consistently as before then, or if you’ve had a bit of a break from speaking and they WANT to speak to you again, they’ll find reasons to reconnect.
This is another key sign your ex misses you.
So it could be that they’re messaging unnecessarily – “remembering” something completely irrelevant and using it as a reason to reach out. Or maybe they pop up on key holidays or birthdays etc.
They don’t really NEED to message – but they want to, because they miss you. They know it will hurt if you don’t respond but they’re willing to take the risk.
Another prime example of your ex missing you, is when they keep finding reasons to try to see you. So maybe they try to collect an old toothbrush that they totally don’t need, or insist that you need “one more conversation” just for closure.
It’s tough. It really is. But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind as these kind of excuses can only continue on and on.
3) They Joke About Missing You
Okay so here’s a funny one. (Funny as in strange, not ha ha funny!) But it makes sense when you think about it. See, one of the signs your ex misses you is when they JOKE about missing you.
So you’ll get sarcastic comments like, “Oh yeah, I’m wallowing in a pit of misery right now, I simply cannot cope without you!” The thing is:
- There’s partly an element of truth there.
- They’re joking about missing you to gage your reaction.
- They could also be hoping the conversation continues on that topic from there.
- It can be kind of flirty when done properly… so again, an attempt to bring you closer again.
This is closely linked with our next sign your ex misses you…
4) They Joke About You Missing Them
We’ll keep this point short and sweet, but again – when your ex jokes about you missing them, it’s for the exact same reason as above.
They’re saying the things they wish were true, trying to steer the conversation in that direction and are ultimately, trying to dig up some information as to how you feel.
5) They Bring Up Old Memories
Ah, now this one can hit pretty hard – depending on how you feel about the breakup, and where you’re at in your journey to “recovery.” But one of the biggest signs your ex misses you, is when they bring up the past.
So you could find that they:
- Send you old photos.
- Send you old videos.
- Bring up memories that you shared together.
If they’re doing this – they could go down the route of “casually” dropping it into conversation or saying something like, “I’ve just seen this”, or “This just popped up on my timeline…” (When it’s a Facebook memory that they’re sharing especially.)
Or maybe they’re more open with it – maybe they’re using it as an attempt to try to bring the two of you closer.
Another thing you’ll often find if your ex misses you, is they talk about the good times with you, to other people. So they still can’t stop talking about you to mutual friends or family, and it ends up getting back to you.
6) They Get Jealous
Next up then, if you’re wondering, “does my ex miss me?”, ask yourself- do they seem to care when it comes to you moving on?
Do they act up or seem “off” with you when you’re busy or not replying as fast? (Especially when it’s at times when you could be out, dating other people – like on a Saturday night for instance?)
Do they ask you about your love life, and then don’t like it if they hear an answer they don’t want? Or maybe they avoid asking you anything about your love or social life altogether, as they simply don’t want to know or are stuck in denial?
If you’re out with another guy and they’re out at the same time – and see you – there could also be trouble. Just remember. It stems from pain.
They don’t want to be so affected by it, but they are, because they still miss you.
7) Or Try To Make You Jealous
On the flip side then, another of the signs your ex misses you, is if they try to make you jealous! This could be in person, but most commonly, it’s done on social media.
So you’ll notice over-the-top social media posts and regular sharing showing “they’re living their best life!”
They’ll also likely feature guys / girls in their posts – people who you don’t know, who they could be seeing romantically, to try to get a reaction, or at the very least, make you care.
Another thing they might do is tell you about their love life – tell you about this amazing new person that they’re seeing… Again, this is to try to get a reaction.
It’s one of the most obvious signs they miss you however, because if they didn’t care – you wouldn’t even be on their radar. They shouldn’t have anything to “prove!”
8) They Send Drunk Texts
What else have we got if your ex misses you then? Well, drunk texts, of course! Drunk texts and drunk calls… Because when their guard is down, the truth comes out.
It also shows you’re still on their mind. You’re the person they think of. You’re the person they want to try to speak to.
There will probably be regrets in the morning! But if you’re still hearing from them now… it means they still miss you and are struggling to control / hide it.
9) They Stalk You On Social Media
Ahh, the standard social media stalking of ex’s! Now this is a tricky one, because if your ex stalks you on social media (or stalks a new partner you may have even), it’s not always necessarily because they miss you… it could also become a habit or be out of curiosity.
However, if you’re recognising some of the other signs your ex misses you, combined with this one, there’s a good chance it all links up.
How do you know if they’re stalking you on social media? Well, you don’t always – it depends how “sneaky” they are about it. But some key giveaways include:
- If they’re always one of the first to view your story.
- Or, never miss a story you share (even if it’s 200 photos of your puppy in the same day!)
- You may also notice some accidental double taps on your photos…
- Or maybe they’re not subtle about it – maybe they use your social media as an excuse to create conversation… replying back or reacting to your stories / picking up on the things you share.
See you’re still on their radar, very much so. They haven’t gone “no contact”, they haven’t even removed you from social media… But worse still, they’re following every single thing you share and do. It’s not good, not good at all.
10) They Can’t Move On
Another sign your ex misses you (whether they’d like to admit it or not) is if they can’t move on, nor do they seem to be fully happy on their own.
So you might find that they date people – but they can’t have anything meaningful or long-term. Or maybe they’re put off dating entirely. Either way, aside from this, they’re not quite theirselves. They seem a little lost, unsure of themselves now.
This all pulls together to indicate that ultimately, they’re not quite over you – or over the breakup and how the two of you ended. And in most cases, consequently, there’s an element of them missing you or longing to get back what you once had.
11) They Talk About “What Ifs”
Another thing you’ll notice if your ex misses you, is they still go over the “what ifs”. This could be to you, or you could hear it from other people.
- What if I’d have done [this] differently?
- Would we have worked out if [this] hadn’t have happened?
- Couldn’t we try [this]?
See, they’re still hung up on the breakup. They’re still hung up on YOU. Again – they haven’t fully reached acceptance.
As a result, they wish it could be a different way and are searching for answers, searching for ways around it. This works hand in hand with missing you. It’s tough.
12) They Try To “Charm” You
Next up then, one of the clear signs your ex misses you is if they try to win you over. They charm you or say and do things to try to draw you in again.
They’re on their best behaviour – as the best version of themselves… acting like the person you first fell in love with, or the person you want / need them to be.
In many cases, they won’t TOTALLY put themselves out there when they’re doing this. But you know your ex – you know their game, when they’re flirting and how they feel.
It’s obvious, even if they won’t admit it!
13) Or Make Things Overly Difficult
On the flip side then, if things were left on bad terms and you don’t currently have the kind of relationship with you that they’d like to, your ex can actually lash out and make things difficult for you – driven by the fact that they care, they want you and they miss you.
So perhaps they react to things they don’t like, or make it hard for you to move on. Or, it could be something as simple as making it difficult for you to get your things back… That’s a common one. After all, they know once you have all your things, you have no reason to contact.
So they’ll create reasons to keep you in your life – on whatever level. You may think it’s out of spite, put sometimes, it’s out of longing and pain.
14) They Ask About You
So here’s a secret sign now then… One that you may not necessarily know about!
See if your ex misses you after a breakup, they’re likely to ask about you. (It’s just a case of if – who they ask – then tells you!) It’s similar to social media stalking – but a way of them getting insider information.
So they’ll usually ask mutual friends or family in whom they are still close with. They won’t usually ask anything too intrusive – just how you are, how you’re doing, etc. But it shows you’re on their mind, and they do still care.
They may also ask people who know you – or people who they’ve heard things about. For instance, let’s say you go on a date with someone knew… they may ask someone who knows that person about that person, if they heard the rumour of it. (Detective work or what!)
A giveaway that your ex is asking about you, is not just if someone says (of course!) but if they speak to you and mention something that you didn’t actually tell them. It indicates they’ve been speaking to others of course!
Or, perhaps you ask their friends about them and they tell you that your ex misses you and isn’t doing too well… well then you know almost for sure, right? (Although, just for the record, I wouldn’t recommend doing this as it’s going to come across in exactly the same way!)
15) They Tell You
Last but not least then, the final point to finish with – is if your ex misses you, I mean REALLY misses you – they’re likely to tell you. Sometimes it really is as simple as that. If you don’t have this kind of confirmation however…
How Do You Know If Your Ex Misses You?
Well, there’s some of the key signs your ex misses you. But how do you know if your ex misses you? I mean, how do you know for sure?
Well, like most things in life, the simple answer is, you don’t. You can only go off their behaviour and tie it altogether to try to gage what it means.
Think about it – every time you’ve missed someone, have you always shown it? Or have there been times where – outwardly – people would have no idea how you feel?
Of course. And it’s the same with your ex…
Does My Ex Miss Me?
At some point another, they may falter, they may let their guard down, and they may give away these clues that they do, indeed, miss you. But don’t wait for it. Because:
- You could be clutching at straws, piecing together what you WANT to be the case.
- They could very well just be getting on with their life, which means there’s no point putting a hold on yours, hoping they’ll realise what they’ve lost and come back.
- On the flip side – they could miss you – but not enough to do anything about it.
- They could also miss you, but know the two of you aren’t right for each other… So it won’t make a difference anyway.
- Or maybe they miss you and do want to get back together. But even if this is the case, that doesn’t mean that that would be the best thing for the two of you, or they’re coming back to you for the RIGHT reason!
So like I said at the start – if it’s playing on your mind, wondering, “does my ex miss me?”, piece it together from this article… Come to your own conclusion to give yourself the clarity to let it go.
Just don’t jump to conclusions as to what it means whether your ex does or doesn’t miss you. See it doesn’t necessarily need to be acted on, nor should it. And that’s what you need to remember.
Feeling unsure? Don’t know what to do? Then get in touch. We’ll figure it out together.
Take care. All the best!