Want to know how to make your boyfriend happy? How to keep your relationship strong, healthy and therefore – hopefully – ever lasting? Well you’ve come to the right place.
Here’s the 10 key essentials when it comes to how to keep your boyfriend happy. (Uh huh, you might be surprised by how little it actually takes!)
How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy
When it comes to how to make your boyfriend happy, it should be really quite simple. That’s because love is, ultimately, pretty simple.
When it’s right, and you’re with the right person, you don’t actually need to do a lot – you just need to remember the things that are most important. So let’s start from the top…
1) Be The Person He Fell In Love With
There’s a quote that says, “Do what you did at the beginning of the relationship and there won’t have to be an end.” Powerful right? Also simple. And yet so unbelievably true.
See everyones their best version of themselves when they start dating – when it’s all just new and exciting, with no pressure or expectations.
As you get into a relationship then, there’s the “honeymoon phase”, where the love is bursting and you just can’t believe how lucky you are.
As time goes on then, routine can set in. It’s not fresh, it’s not new. And it’s easy to take what you have for granted. That’s where the effort can go down, the interest even.
You can get snappy, grouchy. Or perhaps as time goes on and you have “more to lose”, you let your worries take over and this too, takes away from you simply being you.
Recommended Read: How To Deal With Relationship Anxiety
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So whatever it is for you, wherever the two of you are at right now – establish this. Reflect on it. In what ways are you different? And in what ways are you the same?
Who was the person your boyfriend fell in love with, and how often are you being that person? Are you as happy, bubbly and loving as you used to be? Are you as playful and up for a laugh?
Recognise what you’re doing right, but also recognise what you’ve perhaps lost a little bit of, and then do whatever you need to do to get that back.
Focus on being the person you truly are, even as time goes on. As that’s the person your boyfriend fell in love with, and that’s what makes him happy to be around.
2) Accept Him For Who He Is
Next up then, just like your boyfriend loves you for you, if you want to make your boyfriend happy, you have to accept him for him too.
This means you don’t pick at his “flaws” or try to change him. You don’t even try to “improve” him. You just take him for everything and all that he is, and show him that you love him for who he is.
So for example, maybe you don’t like the fact that he always seems to be the loudest person in the room in social environments. Or perhaps he can become obsessed with the smallest of details. Or maybe he gets grouchy with a lack of sleep.
Whatever it is – accept that that’s just the way he is. Whether you’d be the same way or not, know that that’s just him.
If there’s things he wants to work on, let him work on them himself. If there’s things he doesn’t feel he needs to, you need to accept that too.
You can’t fall in love with potential. You have to fall in love with your partner, exactly the way that they are, knowing that no-one is perfect and he doesn’t need to be either.
If you want your boyfriend to be happy – don’t push your standards or expectations on him. Don’t make digs, knock him down, or nag.
Yes you can disagree on things and speak up about them, but never try to change him, or make him feel like he can’t be himself, or isn’t good enough.
Simply allow him to be who he is, and make him know that he can always be his truest, most authentic version with you.
Because THAT’S what will make him feel good in himself, and feel good about being with you.
3) Be There For Him
So here’s a fun fact – we as humans are wired to connect. Social connection is a key human need. What exactly is it? Well by definition:
“Social connection is the experience of feeling close and connected to others. It involves feeling loved, cared for, and valued.”
Studies show that social connection lowers the rates of anxiety and depression and better regulates your emotions.
This means that being there for your boyfriend will LITERALLY make him happy… or happier anyway. Science itself says so!
How can you show that you’re there for him?
By listening to him, supporting him and empathising with him, especially in challenging situations – show him that you get it, you understand. You can do this in person & over text.
Recommended Read: How To Make Your Boyfriend Happy Over Text
Be his rock, his partner in crime. Stand by him. Have his back. These are all natural things that you do for a person that you love and care about. It kind of comes with the “role” as girlfriend.
But now you know this is how to make your boyfriend happy – and the actual power that such a simple thing can have, you can then better find ways to show it. This leads me onto my next point.
4) Show Him How Much He Means To You
Love is another human need – one of the most basic and fundamental needs of them all. It’s hard-wired into us. It therefore makes sense that if you want to make your boyfriend happy – make him feel loved.
Now there’s different ways to do this – through both actions and words. In fact, there’s far more ways than you’d think, if you simply think about it. Here’s 5 suggestions to get you started:
- Tell your boyfriend every single day, that you love him. Every day. Without fail.
- Tell your boyfriend in other ways, that you love him. (Here, have a read of this for 100 Different Ways To Say I Love You.)
- Leave little love notes as unexpected surprises to remind your boyfriend exactly what he means to you, or to simply make him smile! (Here’s 100 ideas for Cute Notes To Leave Your Boyfriend)
- Get into the habit of installing more gratitude and appreciation into the relationship – acknowledging the little things that your boyfriend does for you, and showing him it doesn’t go amiss.
- Do kind, thoughtful or romantic things to surprise your boyfriend. (Here’s our top 20 suggestions to get you started– from washing his car, to planning a “Day For Him”!)
The great thing is, “whatever you focus on, you feel”, so by focusing on making your boyfriend feel loved, because you know that’s what makes him happy – you too, get the benefit of feeling it too.
5) Know His Love Language
Whilst we’re on the topic of love then, you can actually get really smart with this one. See, if you want to know how to make your boyfriend happy – know what his love language is and then tap into it.
Here, click on over to this article to understand love languages and how to identify his.
This is important as it’s all about understanding your boyfriend – his wants and needs, and then using that to build the most fulfilling relationship. Every single person is, you see.
So the things that make you feel loved, may not make him feel loved to the same degree. And the ways in which you naturally express love, may not actually fully align with what he most desires.
There are five main types of love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Understand each one, discuss them with your partner, and then do more of what makes your man feel good!
6) Show Him He Can Trust You
Trust is a key part of every relationship, which is why it’s also a key element to making your boyfriend happy. The more he feels that he can trust you, the happier – and more relaxed – he will be in the relationship.
What sort of things can you do to build trust? Well, click here for the full article, but you want to…
- Avoid breaking that trust to begin with. Never do anything to betray or deceive your boyfriend as this creates the strong foundations you need.
- Always be open and honest – and pride yourself in that.
- Share information with your partner that you think he’d want to know, so that there’s always full transparency.
- Do what you can to make your partner feel loved and reassured. Respect their boundaries and what you know they need in order to feel secure.
- Make your boyfriend know that he can always talk to you about anything – or ask anything if he’s ever feeling unsure or concerned.
- Take responsibility if you ever mess up. Don’t make excuses.
- Always keep your word and never make promises you can’t keep.
- Express your values and morals, and where they come from, so that your boyfriend knows you’re on the same page.
- Be consistent and committed, and show your commitment to him, even just in small ways, every day.
- Be willing to be vulnerable, as that too, builds trust.
On this note, it’s also important that you trust your boyfriend too. Constantly questioning him, letting your insecurities take over, or becoming controlling / paranoid, is certainly NOT going to make him happy.
So you should work on building the trust both sides and expressing the importance of this with your boyfriend. You are a team, after all. It’s not just a one-way thing.
7) Work On Your Communication
Likewise with trust, I want to touch on the importance of communication – because it’s another thing that’s key in any relationship.
I mean, you could be the best version of yourself, full of love and joy, but if you can’t communicate properly with your partner, it’s going to cause challenges and frustration.
- Are you able to clearly express yourself?
- Are you always open and honest?
- Do you listen to what your boyfriend says and how he feels?
- Do you think things through before you speak?
- Are you able to deal with conflict calmly and maturely?
- Do you avoid making assumptions and instead, simply ask when you need?
- Do you acknowledge and respect what your partner says?
What is your communication like in your relationship and how could it be improved? Because when you consider this, and identify areas to improve – that’s when you can then make your boyfriend even happier.
And by the way, whilst you’re focusing on communication, communicate this with your boyfriend to see what he thinks and what he’d like. (Makes sense right?!)
8) Understand Him
We’re storming through the fundamentals for how to make your boyfriend happy now, which is, of course, great! But fundamentally, everyone is different. Different things make different people happy, to different degrees.
Therefore, if you REALLY want to make your boyfriend happy – the best thing you can do is get to know him with depth, know what he’s like, what’s important to him, and then do things that you know will make him happy… Because you know him.
This means understanding his attachment style, understanding the way he behaves in certain situations and why, understanding how he responds, and what he needs, plus why.
Get to know your partner, ask him deep questions. Find out what he likes, what he wants, what makes him tick, what his views are, where his outlook comes from, how he feels about things, what past experiences have been significant for him.
Never stop being inquisitive about him, never stop learning. Because the better you know him, the happier you can make him. And vice versa. The happier you can make each other!
Recommended Read: The ULTIMATE Couples Question Game (It’s Free!)
9) Don’t Be a Pushover
So when it comes to how to make your boyfriend happy, this whole list focuses on what YOU can do, and how you can be the best girlfriend that you can be. This is important.
Remember, the things you’re doing – they’re nothing out of the norm really. They should be a given. And your boyfriend should be similar things back in return too.
It is important to make sure that there’s that balance and things work both ways though. I
f you’re giving and giving and giving, and not getting much back – then there’s a chance that it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re on a losing battle trying to make your boyfriend happy because either:
- He’s not happy in himself.
- He doesn’t appreciate you.
So always be aware. Look out for the signs of a one-sided relationship, the signs of a toxic relationship or the signs that he doesn’t respect you enough. And never, I repeat, NEVER, let anyone walk all over you.
The fact that you’re here, reading this, trying to be the best partner that you can be – it says a lot about your character. So make sure you’re with someone who treats you the way that you deserve too. This leads me onto my final point…
10) Don’t Smother Him
Last but not least then, there is such a thing as trying too hard. Do everything you can to make your boyfriend happy, for sure.
But also make sure there’s a balance. Don’t smother him. Still give him his space. You both need that space – to be your own people and have that time apart.
Also try not to make the relationship too intense, or put too much pressure on it. If the two of you have something special, it will be natural and just flow.
Recommended Read: How To Stop Being Clingy In Your Relationship
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Making your boyfriend happy – fundamentally is quite easy. This is because he loves you for you, he chose to be with you for a reason.
So it’s then simply about appreciating what you have, allowing it to flow and being the best partner that you can be.
How To Make Your Boyfriend
Ultimately, when it comes to how to make your boyfriend happy – put yourself in his shoes.
Think about why he fell in love with you, think about what makes him feel good – what he wants and needs. Then then do small things daily that show him how much you love and appreciate him.
That’s all there is to it. All you can do is strive to be the best that you can be. And with the right person – this will ALWAYS be enough.
So good luck! Wishing you both many happy times together. Take care.
Love,
Ell_xx
