So it’s ended – whether you were dating or in a relationship, things have come to a halt. And as much as you hate to admit it, deep down, there’s still that part of you, that hopes he’ll come back… He’ll reach out again, get back in touch, try to reconnect and you can then re-build things from there. But are you clinging on to false hope? Will he come back? Or is it time to let go and simply accept things? In this post, we’ll explore all of this and more, with the key signs he will never come back, and… how to get your head around it, to move forward positively (if it has to come to that.) So let’s get stuck in. Here’s the 10 key signs your ex will never come back…
Will He Come Back?
Find yourself asking, will he come back? Will he get back in touch? Reach out? Want to try again? See, in this article, we’ll cover the key signs he will never come back (there’s very little to no chance of it happening at all!), but it’s important to note that:
There’s no way to know for sure…
Ultimately it depends on the person. Yes there are certain things that will indicate what he’s like and whether he’s gone for good. But – on the odd occasion – people may surprise you.
This is because we’re not mind readers. But this leads me onto the second point…
You don’t have to know for sure…
You shouldn’t even really think about it. See, as part of acceptance, you have to appreciate that it’s over, this is it. In your mind, it’s done.
Because it is, really, whether he comes back or not – the two of you got to where you are for a reason, and – in most cases – a magical return shouldn’t / wouldn’t change that.
In fact, studies show that 70% of couples don’t get back with their ex, 14% that do get back together only break up again, and that – therefore – does not leave a lot of successful rekindling left!
So yes, it can be helpful to look at the signs he will never come back, purely for closure and acceptance. Typically, it can make these things easier.
But regardless, you shouldn’t obsess over it. You don’t want it to consume you.
This should just firm up the fact it’s done. Agreed? Alright, good. Then, let’s move onto those all-important signs that you have to now start to recognise…
10 Signs He Will Never Come Back
So what are the key signs he will never come back? The key signs that this is it – it’s over, out, wallah, you’ve reached the point of no return (or at the very least returning back to where you once were.) Well, in most cases:
1) It Ended BADLY
One of the most obvious signs he will never come back is if the break-up was bad. Or, if the two of you were just dating / “seeing each other”, the separation as such, was equally as traumatic.
And yes, okay, if it really was left on bad terms, that may make you think: “Well surely this can’t be it. Surely he’ll want to reach out again to ‘clear the air’ or so to speak.”
Yes, sometimes he may, but often he may not. It entirely depends on the kind of person that he is.
Just don’t hold your breath waiting for it. Because not everyone’s like you.
There’s a good chance, if he “got a lot of grief”, he’ll brush his hands of it, let go and move on, with no going back… which is why you should do the same too.
But this is just his way of dealing with things and you have to respect that.
Remember, if you’re really not happy with how it ended, you can drop him a line to say what you need to say, to feel better about it all. But say it for that purpose, not with any hope of reconnecting. And realise that by saying something, it won’t change the situation. It’s purely for you.
2) Some Big Things Were Said
Closely tied to the point of things ending badly, you’ll often find that there’s a line… and if certain lines are crossed, you’re going to struggle to come back from them.
Perhaps things got personal, insults were given, perhaps family members were brought into it even. But if it hit hard, it can have a lasting impact, and these things can’t be forgotten about.
See, it’s more than just an angry, “I hate you” blow up, when you say something you feel in the moment but don’t really mean it. We’re talking about the blow-ups that get nasty and personal, with things that are said which aren’t okay.
When this happens, you can actually end up revealing a person’s true colours or feelings.
But if anything like that happened and your ex chose to walk away as a result – there’s a good chance he won’t ever be coming back.
And maybe in this case – you don’t want to either. Maybe he said things that hurt you badly too. Naturally this would knock your confidence after the breakup.
It might make you want revenge on your ex. (Eek!) But deep breaths, deep breaths, because I promise you – it’s far better to simply let it go instead.
After all, “You can’t have a sweet life if you’re bitter.”
3) It Had Been Building Up For A While
Another key he will never come back is if the two of you didn’t part ways out of the blue – it had been building up for a while and there were multiple things that had happened.
This firms up the breakup, and you may have actually found that it kind of felt like a RELIEF when the two of you did finally end.
When this is the case, once the hardest part of making that break is done, it’s unlikely either one of you would go back on that, or actually even want to – especially if the two of you are, or will be, happier apart.
See I know it hurts, but sometimes things just aren’t right – two people just aren’t right.
And if he realises this, if the two of you had spoken about it, really, he’s unlikely to come back… which is why it’s definitely one of the key signs your ex will never come back.
Just remember: this is actually doing you a favour. It would be better for the both of you if he didn’t, so try not to fight it.
What If It Was a Good Relationship?
Well, if it was really perfect – 1) Why did you end? 2) How have you been so blind-sided to not have seen this coming? Things clearly aren’t adding up here, and it’s always harder to gain closure when you don’t understand why it ended, but you have to try to remove the wool from your eyes, so that you can start to deal with the grief of this heartbreak and begin to heal.
4) He’s Not The Same Person Anymore
“I see your true colors, shining through… I see your true colors…”
This song totally springs to mind – except scrap the “and that’s why I love you” part, because sometimes it doesn’t always work out like that.
I mean, let’s say it was over, you’re struggling to come to terms with it and that’s why you think he’ll come back – because you think he must be hurting after the breakup too.
(And when we say “come back”, we don’t always mean back into a relationship with you – it could just be a case of speaking to you again.)
But girl, seriously don’t hold your breath because – as you may already know – this doesn’t always happen.
And yes, yes it can be hard – you had a connection with this person, a special bond, a lot of memories. You won’t how it can go from that to this.
But sometimes, it’s only afterwards that you can see a person for who they are, and sometimes that’s not always who you thought you were.
Because yes, maybe there were signs. Small signs that indicate they weren’t quite as genuine, thoughtful or kind-hearted as you. Or perhaps you only start to notice them now.
Also remember that people can act differently when they’re hurt. That also plays a part.
Either way, don’t take it to heart if your ex suddenly becomes a stranger.
The coldness may be unfamiliar to you, but it could have been there all along… you just didn’t see it because before you were in his “good books.” Now you’re not.
But do you really want to be around that anyway? I think not!
5) His Guard Has Come Back Up
On the flip side, it may not be that the guys a bad person, it may just be that he’s not coming back because he’s trying to protect himself.
Perhaps the relationship was a little rocky, turbulent, traumatic at times. And so he’s literally reached his limit. He can’t take anymore.
If he’s been hurt and he knows it’s easier to be apart, better even, then yes, he probably will shut you out. It’s not necessarily that he doesn’t care or you didn’t mean anything to him.
It’s just that he’s distanced himself – from you, from the situation, from his feelings. In a way, it’s just a coping mechanism. And so he’s highly unlikely to come back after that.
Breakups are hard on both parts, even if the other person doesn’t show it.
Men can be especially reluctant to let out how they really feel because they also have a bigger ego to content with in most cases too – which is why closing off can be common.
Just remember – it’s also for the best. Yes he’s gone, yes it’s sad, yes it will take some readjusting but ultimately, if he’s not coming back, and you know that, it also makes it easier.
Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back
We’re half way through the signs your ex will never come back. I know, I know, some of these are hard to hear – especially if they’re starting to ring true for you – but it’s what you need. This is a good thing really, even if you can’t see or feel that right now. So what else do you want to look out for? Well…
6) He’s Got a Track Record
Another thing to consider when looking for the signs he will never come back, is his track record. How does he usually respond in situations like these? What’s his track record?
- Does he often have a string of short-lived relationships?
- Does he often up and run?
- Or maybe he is a relationship person but he constantly moves from one to the next?
They say that “history has a habit of repeating itself” and it can be the same with people.
But this is only more reason to not take it personally. This is what he does – not just with you, with most people.
You can also look at his past behaviour with you:
- Have you had a wobble before but he’s always come straight back? (Which is why you notice the difference this time.)
- How did he typically deal with arguments before? Is he one to just shut off? Is that what he always does?
- Or perhaps there were multiple times when you felt like you shouldn’t push it because you fear he’d just up and leave?
These are all little indicators which tell you more about who he is, how he behaves and what it probably means for the two of you now.
7) He’s Ignoring You
We’re over half way through our list now so let’s throw in a “big boy!”
Will he come back? Well, one of the major signs he will never come back, is if you’re reaching out, you’re trying and you’re getting little to no response.
It’s bad enough if he doesn’t try to initiate conversation with you, but if you don’t hear much of a peak even when you try, it’s time to take a step back.
This is your chance – your chance to reconnect and rekindle. So if he’s not taking it, he doesn’t seem to miss you and he doesn’t seem to care, get the hint.
Just remember – you’re worth more than that.
You have to reach the point where you stop trying with people who don’t try with you. Otherwise you’d only fall into a one-sided relationship.
So wherever this happens, use it as motivation to let go, instead of feeling like you have to try to cling on.
8) He’s Mean To You
So we mentioned above how – if it feels like he’s a different person – he’s cold, he’s distance, things have changed, then there’s a good chance he won’t be going back.
We’ve also mentioned how ignoring or making 0 effort to reach out, also, of course, is not a good sign.
However, if he goes one step further to be mean or cruel, he’s definitely gone for good. And I feel like I don’t even need to write this, but sometimes you close your eyes to what’s happening. So for example:
- Maybe he’s bluntly told you he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He’s told you to “leave him alone.” You think he doesn’t mean it, he’s pushing you away, because you just won’t hear it.
- Or maybe he’s playing games with you, purposely. He could play hot and cold, give you false hope only to crush you down again. That’s why you’re now confused. But things have changed… remember that. And this isn’t healthy. You have to remember your worth.
- It could also have just become a little bit toxic. The two of you are both clinging on, when you know deep down that nothing has changed. That’s why he’ll say things and do things that don’t make you feel good. And yet, still, you feel out of control… like you can’t quite let go, like you have to fix it and work it out.
But the truth is – you’ve already lost him. He’s not coming back. The relationship ended. You both chose to part ways. And the longer you prolong it, the more you drag it out – the harder it is.
So if you feel like things have gone sour, instead of looking for how to build things back up, have that space, have that breather.
When you do, and you’re you feel better about it all mentally – you’ll probably find you’re better off without him, and he will too.
9) He’s Dating Other People
Now this is a funny one. See, if he’s dating other people or is in a rebound relationship, it could be an attempt to get over you: an attempt to seem okay, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he is.
For this reason, the fact he’s dating other people doesn’t necessarily mean he will never come back – but, he’s certainly trying to get on with his life, that’s for sure.
What you will find however, if he’s totally done with you, is this will play it with the other signs.
So he won’t reach out to you, he won’t respond to you. He also won’t even necessarily try to let you know he’s dating other people because he’s over you, it doesn’t affect him so he doesn’t care whether or not you know, and what you think, either way.
If it reaches the point that he’s then in a new relationship (and it actually seems healthy and like it’ really lasting!) that’s when it’s certainly one of the signs he will never come back.
You’re no longer just his ex, he’s met someone new. And I know, it can be hard to deal with your ex moving on. But think about it –
Even if the two of them did split up, you’d then become his ex-ex! So if you ever heard from him again, it wouldn’t even be the same by then. This leads us onto our final sign…
10) It’s Been a While Now
Will he come back? Is it really it? Well the longer it’s been, and the less contact you’ve had, the less likely it is that he will come back. You’ll notice:
- You’ve gone a lot time without speaking now.
- He’s not tried to make contact and nor have you.
- He seems to be getting on with his life, seems happy, really happy in fact.
- The only connections you have now, are the memories. You don’t have things left at each others, your lives are separate, totally apart.
- You don’t see each other and there’s no indications that he misses you or is waiting for you.
- Maybe he’s got a new job, gone traveling, seems to be changing, progressing as a person.
These are more natural things – and things that you’d want both for him and for yourself.
However when it does reach that point, it’s time to stop looking back and wondering. Instead, fully focus on moving forward yourself.
Signs He Will Never Come Back
So there we have it, the key signs he will never come back.
Will he come back? Well like I said at the start, there’s no guarantees. The guy could totally surprise you.
But for your own peace of mind, it’s going to really help to see it that way and accept it.
I know it can be hard, and right now you may still really miss him – or miss certain parts of the relationship and what the two of you had.
But if it was meant to be, it would be. And if he’s not feeling it anymore, there’s no point trying to convince him or change his mind.
So be strong, be confident, and let’s make this YOUR turning point now, my friends.
Take care. Thinking of you.