Has your ex moved on quickly? Wondering if it’s actually the “real deal” or if this is just a rebound relationship? Well my friends, in this post, we’ll get to the bottom of it. Here’s 10 signs your ex is in a rebound relationship, and – most importantly – what to think and do about it! So let’s start from the top.
What Is a Rebound Relationship?
Before we look at the signs your ex is in a rebound relationship, let’s get clear on what a rebound relationship actually is.
See, after a breakup, you hear about rebounds a lot, right?
“Oh, did you hear that SOMEONE got with SOMEONE? Yeah… That’s totally just a rebound!”
A rebound is when someone “hooks up” with someone else, shortly after the end of a relationship and usually, to feel better about themselves and the situation (whether it was their decision or not.
If someone is “looking for a rebound” they are therefore looking for exactly that – something casual and physical, shortly after the end of their last relationship.
So what is a rebound relationship then?
Well this is when someone not only hooks up with someone else shortly after their ex, but actually gets into a relationship with them.
It’s usually seen as too fast, or based on a reaction to their previous relationship (and the fact that it ended.)
The important thing to note with all rebounds or rebound relationships however, is they are rebounds because there’s still unresolved issues or upset around the breakup…
They have not fully healed and so the new “relationship” is more of a reaction to that pain than anything else.
How Long Does a Rebound Relationship Usually Last?
When it comes to how long a rebound relationship lasts – it could be days, weeks, months. It could too, be years, but it’s unlikely to have the longevity to be something long-term.
Why? Because it’s built with the wrong foundations and in most cases – the person hasn’t really taken the time to:
- Get to know their new partner properly before fully committing.
- Fully “qualified” their new partner to make sure they’re the right person for them.
- There’s also likely to be issues in the relationship that rise from the fact it was too soon to jump into.
- And seeing as the relationship was jumped into too fast, it’s likely that the relationship will move too fast too. Something that can also be pretty detrimental.
So the odds of a rebound relationship becoming life-long, are not really in their favour. Although, hey… Sometimes it can happen!
How Do You Know If Your Ex is in a Rebound Relationship?
When it comes to how you know if your ex is in a rebound relationship, well, that’s why you’re here, right?
In this article, we’re going to break down the REAL signs your ex is in a rebound relationship and explain why they’re actually, valid signs.
However (and this is a big one!), even with these – they’re just assumptions and interpretations. Sometimes you do get exceptions and so you won’t know 100% for sure.
Gee, sometimes people get into a rebound relationship and they themselves don’t even realise that that’s what it is! So only time will tell.
Does It Actually Matter?
No! The thing to remember with all of this, is whether your ex is in a rebound relationship or not – it shouldn’t be your concern or your focus. So here’s the deal, okay?
After you’ve read this article and gained clarity over it, I want you to “put it to bed” so to speak, and shift the focus back to you again. Agreed? (Okay then, I’ll take that as a YES!)
Signs Your Ex Is In a Rebound Relationship
Let’s fly through the key signs your ex is in a rebound relationship then, shall we?
What are the key indicators? How do you know if your ex is in a rebound relationship? What kind of things suggest it? Well, these are as followed…
Just note: the more signs that ring true, the more likely it is to be that your ex really is in a rebound relationship. One or two signs alone, may actually mean something else. So they really have to compile on top of each other in order for you to confidently get the right conclusion.
1) It Won’t Have Been Long Since You Broke Up
First up, one major element of someone being in a rebound relationship, is if they haven’t been single for long. Now, everyone heals on their own timescale – for some it takes more time, for some it’s less. But regardless, there’s the same grieving process to go through.
If your ex has gotten into a new relationship (and it’s fully officially, BAMN, DONE – just like that!), just weeks after the two of you ended, then yes – there’s a good chance it’s a rebound.
Even if your relationship hadn’t been in the best place for a while, or you had moved into being more like friends, there still needs to be an adjustment period and it’s healthy to have some time on your own.
You need to be able to be on your own, in order to know it’s not a rebound. So there really should be enough time apart, instead of it going from one relationship to the next.
2) They Won’t Have Been Dating For Very Long
Another major sign your ex is in a rebound relationship is if, not only did your ex move on fast, but they got into their new relationship very quickly too…
Everything seems to be rushed from one stage to another. So one minute the two of you had just broken up and the next they were not only dating – but fully official with someone new!
But that’s the thing – if it was genuine and real… what would be the rush?
- Have they really taken the time to fully get to know this person? And could they truly know them well enough within the space of time that they’ve had?
- Are they thinking clearly and taking this decision seriously, or just being swept away?
- How did things end with the two of you? And have they actually processed this properly?
- Have they had enough time to not just get over you, but heal from the emotional turmoil that breakups do, inevitably create?
- Why are things moving so fast or having to move so fast for the two of them? Why aren’t they just continuing to get to know each other and taking things a little slower (for your ex’s sake) considering it’s not been very long since the two of you?
See we’re not saying that your ex can’t date someone new. But it’s a sign of a rebound relationship if they have to rush to the next step of a relationship, so soon after being with you.
Remember: getting over your ex and moving on to meet someone new isn’t a race. There’s nothing to prove.
3) Their Relationship Will Also Be Moving Fast
Another sign your ex is in a rebound relationship, is if – not only did they get into that relationship quickly, but the relationship is then also moving forward at a pretty rapid pace.
So one minute it was the two of you, then they find someone new, and one month later – they’ve moved in together. It’s all too much.
It’s not at a healthy speed and it suggests they’re just looking for an escape from the heartache. The new relationship itself isn’t even enough. They need more and more, as a distraction as much as anything.
Now of course, if two people meet at a later stage of their life, looking for the same things, maybe they are ready to move in together faster, or take things to the next stage in other ways.
But that’s why you have to look at this sign against the others to see how it’s starting to add up and get an accurate overall picture.
Remember, a relationship that moves too fast is more likely to crash and burn…
If they’re running before they can walk, it’s a telltale sign of a rebound relationship as they’re not thinking things through. It’s too impulsive; too reckless.
The chances are your ex has been caught in this fantasy, rose-coloured glasses stage and yes – he / she could genuinely really like whoever he’s now with, but if they liked their new partner enough and was putting them first, they’d move it at the right pace to give it the best chance of working.
Instead, here, the driving force was not love – but that escape and fix they’re craving after the breakup. They want security and safety again, but you can only truly get that when you are fully healed. You can’t get that from anyone but yourself…
BONUS: Is It Displacement?
If your ex got into a new relationship quickly, and then moved that relationship forward at a rapid pace – there’s a good chance that displacement is coming into play.
Displacement is typically when you take feelings that belong in one situation, and place them elsewhere. After a breakup however, displacement can come into play whereby the person tries to bring their new relationship up to the same level as where their old relationship was at.
So for example: let’s say the two of you spoke about buying a place, and next thing you know – they’re signing new contracts with their new partner. Or perhaps you and your ex often spoke about marriage and – what do you know – they’re now engaged (far too soon!)
They’re essentially displacing what they had in the relationship with you, onto this new relationship with somebody else. They’re subconsciously trying to fast-forward their new relationship up to the point where it was at with you.
Displacement is therefore often prevalent in rebound relationships, as – again – it’s a coping mechanism. Your ex misses what they have and they’re trying to recreate that with someone new.
4) Your Ex Was Actively Looking For It
Ooh, there are so many juicy, but very-much-true signs your ex is in a rebound relationship here! To understand and interpret their situation accurately, you just have to break it all down logically and clearly, you see.
I mean, think about it – there’s a major difference between:
- Your ex meeting their new partner by chance, and instantly clicking with them. (You can’t help who you meet, when.) In which case, maybe things would naturally move faster than they perhaps anticipated, because they weren’t expecting to meet someone so soon…
- Your ex actively trying to find someone new – in which case they’ll be going out every weekend, swiping on dating apps every night, sliding into DM’s of those they used to speak to or had a thing with. Why? Because they can’t sit with the sadness and they can’t stand being on their own. They’re looking for an escape, a “replacement” in a way.
This is why this is one of the biggest signs your ex is in a rebound relationship – particularly if you pair it with the fact that they haven’t been single for long, and they moved too swiftly into that full “relationship official” level.
5) This Is a Pattern
Does your ex have a habit of going from one relationship to another? Have they done it before? Multiple times, perhaps? Do they hate being single? Have they told you this, even?
Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? You know your ex better than most people. You know what they’re like, what their needs are and how they cope.
Some people do go from one relationship to another, quickly, and can never just have time on their own. In fact, they specifically seek new relationships because they don’t like being on their own – and that’s what often makes them rush into the wrong ones.
And sure – maybe one of these relationships will turn from a rebound, to a “forever” (or at least a long-term relationship anyway.) But it certainly won’t have been started on the best foundations or for the right reasons.
6) They’re Constantly Sharing It On Socials
Now this is a common sign your ex is in a rebound relationship. You’ll read about this one in almost every article. BUT (and yes, I’ve put it in capitals to highlight it further!), it’s important to note:
> Your ex sharing their new relationship on social media doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in a rebound relationship. They could just be happy, and genuinely smitten, and so wanting to share this new person in their life with the world.
So how do you know if they’re sharing it for this reason, or because they’re doing it for show? (Indicating it’s not 100% real.) Well:
- Notice The Frequency: Did they barely ever post when you were together, and actually have little to no interest in social media? Yet now it seems to be anywhere and everywhere… regularly?
- Notice The Messages: What are they writing with it? Are they posting essays or including little digs that make out they’re “happier than ever” and “so much better off now”? And does it sound genuine, or like they’re just trying to prove a point?
- Are They Keeping Tabs On You? On top of this, you may notice they’re constantly looking at your profile and are likely to be checking to see if you’ve viewed their story or posts (because they want you to know about it.) This leads me onto my next point…
7) They’re Still Concerned About You
After a breakup, there is naturally still curiosity around an ex and what they’re up to. In many cases, you can also still care about your ex in a non-romantic way – it doesn’t mean anything or mean you want to be with them.
But if your ex is in a new relationship – they shouldn’t really be concerned about you in a big way. They shouldn’t be the first to view your story every time, or popping up when they can. It should be about the new person they’re with more than anything else.
So if your ex is keeping tabs on you, trying to push their new relationship in your face or trying to bump into you even – it could be a big indication that they’re not quite over you and so their new relationship isn’t all that it seems.
8) They’re Still Speaking To You
I want to really highlight this point as a sign in itself. See, it is possible to be friends with your ex after a breakup… but not straight away. You need that time apart.
So if your ex is still speaking to you, there’s a good chance they’re not fully over you and can’t seem to let you go. In which case – it then doesn’t make sense that they’re suddenly now with someone new, right?
- Why have they been keeping you in their life?
- Have they recently tried to get back with you or expressed how they feel?
- Are they still secretly interested in getting back with you?
- Is it even fair on their new partner that you’re still “on the scene?”
- Is this all just a bit of a game to them?
- Are they actually taking this new relationship seriously enough?
See, maybe they think they haven’t got a chance with you – but still hope and wish that they had.
Either way – this suggests their new relationship is just a rebound, to try to help them to get over you. The thing is, it’s not really right or fair…
So if they’ve seemingly moved on, but still want you in their life, it’s a good idea to take the decision to block them out your life – for everyone’s sake.
9) You Feel Like They’re “Settling”
We’re storming through the signs your ex is in a rebound relationship now! What else have we got? Well a potentially controversial one here, but hear me out with this one…
See, no-one is here to judge who is and isn’t good enough for a person, so you’re not suggesting anything like that by saying that your ex is “settling.”
Instead, this is more about what you know is and isn’t important to your ex, and how that relates to who they’re with now. So for example:
- Do you know something was important to your ex, yet their new partner doesn’t seem to have that, at all? Or is the complete opposite even?
- Is this the case with multiple things? Your ex’s “deal breakers” seem to be present, or they’ve rushed into something with someone who doesn’t meet many of their “needs”?
Now of course, this is a tricky sign to tell – as how well do you know their new partner? And are you really in a position to accurately know for sure?
Also bear in mind the fact that things change, people change…
It could be that your ex has changed after the breakup and the things that were important to them before, aren’t so much anymore. You can also meet new things and discover things that are important to you – that were perhaps undervalued before.
But, these discoveries usually take a little time, which is why this is one to bear in mind with all of the other signs. (I.E. if you know they’re struggling after the breakup and have just carelessly rushed into something new… perhaps to spite you even!) This leads me onto my final point…
10) You’ve Heard Things From Friends / Family
Now the opinions of others, shouldn’t be the most important opinions of all. After all, it’s your life. You know yourself better than anyone and you also know who you’re with more than anyone else too.
But if you find that your ex’s friends / family don’t approve of the relationship, think it’s a rebound relationship or think it’s moved too fast – it certainly does hold at least a little bit of weight.
You may also hear “insider information” from friends and family.
For example, maybe they’re surprised about the new relationship because – up until now – they said that your ex was definitely very much still hung up on you. Or maybe your ex is still asking about you, or revealing things they wouldn’t directly say to you.
These can all be little hints towards a rebound relationship… Or it may just be friends / family trying to spare your feelings or getting things wrong.
Again, you won’t know entirely for sure – but it is the final sign worth mentioning, as it can tie into everything else we’ve mentioned above and add more strength to it.
Signs Your Ex Is In a Rebound Relationship
So that rounds up the 10 key signs your ex is in a rebound relationship (or is likely to be in one anyway.)
Just remember what we agreed at the start. Now you’ve got your head around it a little more – you have to let it go.
Your ex is your past. It’s time to focus on your future.
So stop going over what they’re doing or where they’re at, because it’s really not important, okay?
For more support and guidance, reach out for one-to-one breakup coaching. You’re not in this alone. Click here for more details. And take care!
Sending my very best wishes and encouragement.