What To Do If You Like Him More Than He Likes You

Find yourself in a “I like him more than he likes me” situation? Fed up? Don’t know what to do? Well you’ve come to the right place! In this post, we’ll break down what to do if you like him more than he likes you.

“I Like Him More Than He Likes Me”

Ah the, “I like him more than he likes me” situation…

It sucks, huh? Feels like it happens every time, right? Groaaaan. I know. I know. But here’s the truth – it’s not always you, and it may not even be that way now.

I mean, all the times you fall for someone hard and end up getting hurt – it can stick with you.

But what you’re forgetting is all the hearts you’ve probably broke too… some without even realising it! (Even if you did try to reject someone nicely.)

That’s just the way it goes.

See, life and love isn’t always fair and equal. But many things are subjective…

Do You Like Him More Than He Likes You?

I also want to take a step back now and challenge the whole “I like him more than he likes me” ethos anyway. I mean, how do you really know? Says who?

Here, let me ask you some questions, because I want to get you thinking…

• Why do you think that you like him more than he likes you?
• What “evidence” do you have which backs this up?
• Who’s measure are you using to gage how strong a person feels? Your own?
• Could it be that he shows interest in different ways? Has different standards? Maybe you’re missing the signs he’s falling for you?
• Could your insecurities be coming into this – telling you things that aren’t true?
• How do you actually know how strong he feels? And what shows that he does in fact, feel strongly? That he really does like you and see’s a future with you?
• Could it be that he’s afraid of getting hurt or scared of rejection and so is therefore holding back?
• Or maybe there’s other things coming into it? If so, what are they likely to be?
• How do you know how strong you feel for him and how real it is, or have you fallen too fast and too hard? Similarly…
• Could you just be fantasising? Falling in love with the idea of being in love? Building him up in your head?
• Or maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt and so are now panicking? You’re expecting the worst?

You see? The list could go on and on. But my point is – so much could come into it. Things aren’t black and white and you may actually, have got this completely wrong.

… “But What If I Really Think It’s True?”

And I know, I get it, you feel like you can just “tell.” Your gut is warning you…

Sometimes this can be legit. But sometimes your gut can be misleading as well. Sometimes your gut can warn you of things it doesn’t need to.

You’re in survival mode, you see. Our body is wired to try to foresee danger, to try to protect ourselves.

“Traced back to prehistoric days, primitive man had to be able to register threats to avoid danger and increase survival rates. Individuals who were more attuned to danger (negative stimuli) stayed alive longer and passed on their genes. Focusing on the bad developed as a way of our brains keeping us safe and it is still wired into our genetics today.“

What’s more, if you’ve been hurt badly from romantic relationships in the past before, you’re going to be hyper sensitive to it.

You’re scared based on past experiences or limiting beliefs, on top of this.

That’s why any hints of “danger”, any hints of this person not being 100% in… you start to panic.

Only sometimes you can end up reading into situations or behaviours, which does more damage than good. I mean, is he actually losing interest? Are the feelings actually imbalanced here?

Remember – people love in different ways, to different degrees, with different levels of intensity, at different times.

So does this whole “you like him more than he likes you” malarky really matter? Is it really as accurate or severe as you might have initially thought?

It’s food for thought, that’s for sure…

What Matters Is How You Feel In All Of This

I honestly can’t stress this enough. Whether you’re dating, “seeing” someone or in a relationship, you should be the best that you can be and try to make the other person happy (of course!)

You care about them after all? You want to bring more love and joy into their life, for sure!

BUT (and this is a big one!) you can’t let another persons feelings consume them, because you are not them.

So don’t speak for a person, don’t say how they feel. Instead, focus on how you feel.

• Do they make you happy?
• Is this the kind of relationship you’re looking for?
• Do you get on well, bounce off each other?
• How are you together?
• How does he make you feel?

These are the kind of questions you should be asking, instead of turning it into a competition!

See if you focus too much on whether you like him more than he likes you, it can consume you and actually end up ruining what you have.

You’ll become paranoid, clingy; you’ll overthink, you won’t be able to totally be yourself. And will that then develop his feelings further? Well, no, probably not.

In fact, if anything – you’re likely to end up scaring him away. So what do you do?

What To Do If You Like Him More Than He Likes You

So what do you do if you like him more than he likes you? Or – should I say – you THINK you like him more than we likes you. Well:

1) Look At The Bigger Picture

First up, take a step back, get this idea out your head and really start to challenge it.

• What things indicate that he does like you?
• What commitment has he shown towards you?
• How does he make you feel loved and wanted?
• What things has he done for you that meant a lot?
• What special moments have you shared?
• Does he tell you he likes you? What has he said?
• What do you feel? Inside, hand on heart? How do you know he likes you?

Think about the big things, the little things and stop looking at what you’d do, or how you’d act.

You are not him! Truly get to know this guy – know what he’s like and know how he’s been showing you he likes you.

It’s not about settling or kidding yourself. It’s just about better getting your head around things if you are happy and you simply want to destroy the feeling of imbalance.

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What If You Really Do Like Him More Than He Likes You?

If you do this exercise and think, “Yikes, I actually am right! I really do like him more than he likes me – this guys done NOTHING!” then assess the relationship as a whole and if it could well be that he’s just not the right one for you!

I mean, there’s ways to know if he’s the one (believe it or not!)

There’s also key signs the relationship is one sided, so you don’t have to feel so unsure. You just swat up on your relationship knowledge and then feel CONFIDENT about what you’re thinking.

I mean, if you really do like him more than he likes you, you’ll also notice things like:

• He doesn’t make much effort. (Or as much as he used to.)
• You feel like he may possibly be playing you.
• You’re not sure if he’s all that genuine.
• He doesn’t listen / care about how you feel.
• You can often feel like you’re treading on eggshells around him.
• It’s always you initiating everything. (Including affection!)
• Everything is on his terms. There’s no compromise.
• He doesn’t really treat you right. He’s flakey or inconsistent.
• You’re not sure if you can really trust him.
• You feel like you constantly have to keep HIM happy.
• It’s just a lot of HARD WORK, from your side. It’s not natural, comfortable or easy.

These are some of the signs you like him more than he likes you – but they mean nothing on their own. They have to be compiled together for you to make any strong judgement.

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2) Stop Comparing

So, assuming you didn’t have to reassess the relationship and you know that the guy really does like you, you then need to stop comparing.

And yes, I know, it’s easier said than done. But does that mean it’s not possible? Absolutely not. It just takes some commitment.

I mean, I said it above, but I want to highlight it again:

Remember – people love in different ways, to different degrees, with different levels of intensity, at different times.

He may just be a slower burner. He may be liking / loving you as hard as he can right now, at this stage. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not genuine, real, amazing and can’t be enough…

It also doesn’t mean that it won’t balance out in time, if you both feel things at a different pace.

So if the relationship is currently serving you and your needs (as a whole) are being met… Decide now – like your happiness depends on it – that you’re going to free yourself from this “I like him more than he likes me” obsession.

In fact, incorporate it into your happiness plan and decide now to smash those thoughts out your head every time they come to mind.

Reprogram your mind – because it’s probably fear taking over, especially if you’ve trained yourself to believe every time you’re interested in someone, they can’t possibly be interested as much in you!

He likes you. Maybe loves you. (Depending on your situation.) So allow yourself to see it, feel it, appreciate it and focus on that instead of sucking away your own joy.

If you’re not in a fulfilling relationship, that’s a different story, but if what you have is pretty great – choose to remember that.

3) Know Your Worth

Knowing your worth is relevant on both sides of the “I like him more than he likes me” situation.

If it’s true, and you’re not getting the love you want from this relationship:

Recognise that. Don’t settle. Don’t settle for having to question this, don’t settle for feeling less than the truly remarkable human that you are and don’t live with this uneasy feeling.

Know your worth enough to know that there is someone out there who will love you fully and completely for you. Then be brave and walk away if you need to.

Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t value and appreciate you the way that you deserve.

If it’s not true and you think you like him more than he likes you, but this is being led by insecurity:

Recognise that too! Work on building yourself up. Put the time in, honestly. Start now. In fact, feed it into your self improvement plan / challenge.

Putting yourself through this, doubting yourself – it’s not needed. He likes you, loves you, thinks you’re frickin’ awesome (which you are!) It’s not too good to be true, trust me.

So instead of dwelling on how you feel, recognise what you’re doing and get committed to creating the change you want and need in the way you see yourself and the way you think others see you.

You’re strong enough, smart enough, beautiful enough… more than enough. You are so worthy of love – and the kind of love that you want and deserve. So don’t doubt that. Believe it!

That’s All For This One

So there we have it! What to do if you like him more than he likes you… well, you think you do!

Remember, take a step back, see things for how they really are and always remember your worth.

This guy? He’d be MAD not to be crazy about you. Trust me!

So know how you feel, have confidence in how he feels (whichever way that is) and move forward in the direction that you know, deep down, is right for you.

Take care.

Love,
Ell_xx