Find yourself in a “I like him more than he likes me” situation? Fed up? Don’t know what to do? Well you’ve come to the right place! In this post, we’ll break down what to do if you like him more than he likes you.
“I Like Him More Than He Likes Me”
Ah the, “I like him more than he likes me” situation. It sucks, huh? Feels like it happens every time, right? Groaaaan. I know. I know. But here’s the truth – it’s not always you, and it may not even be that way now.
I mean, all the times you fall for someone hard and end up getting hurt – it sticks with you. But what you’re forgetting is all the hearts you’ve probably broke too… some without even realising it!
That’s just the way it goes. See, life and love isn’t always fair and equal. But many things are subjective.
Do You Like Him More Than He Likes You?
I also want to take a step back now and challenge the whole “I like him more than he likes me” ethos anyway. I mean, how do you really know? Says who?
Here, let me ask you some questions, because I want to get you thinking…
- Why do you think that you like him more than he likes you?
- What “evidence” do you have which backs this up?
- Who’s measure are you using to gage how strong a person feels? Your own?
- Could it be that he shows interest in different ways? Has different standards?
- Could your insecurities be coming into this – telling you things that aren’t true?
- How do you actually know how strong he feels? And what shows that he does in fact, feel strongly?
- Could it be that he’s afraid of getting hurt and therefore holding back? Or maybe there’s other things coming into it?
- How do you know how strong you feel for him and how real it is, or have you fallen too fast and too hard?
- Could you just be fantasising? Falling in love with the idea of being in love? Building him up in your head?
- Or maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt and so are now panicking? You’re expecting the worst.
You see? The list could go on and on. But my point is – so much could come into it. Things aren’t black and white and you may actually, have got this completely wrong.
And I know, I get it, you feel like you can just “tell.” Your gut is warning you. But sometimes your gut can be misleading. Sometimes your gut can warn you of things it doesn’t need to.
You’re in survival mode, scared based on past experiences or limiting beliefs. That’s why any hints of “danger”, any hints of this person not being 100% in… you start to panic.
Only sometimes you can end up reading into situations or behaviours, which does more damage than good.
Remember – people love in different ways, to different degrees, with different levels of intensity, at different times. So does this whole “you like him more than he likes you” malarky really matter?
What Matters Is How You Feel
I honestly can’t stress this enough. Whether you’re dating, “seeing” someone or in a relationship, you should be the best that you can be and try to make the other person happy (of course!)
You care about them after all? You want to bring more love and joy into their life, for sure!
BUT (and this is a big one!) you can’t let another persons feelings consume them, because you are not them. So don’t speak for a person, don’t say how they feel. Instead, focus on how you feel.
- Do they make you happy?
- Is this the kind of relationship you’re looking for?
- Do you get on well, bounce off each other?
- How are you together?
- How does he make you feel?
See if you focus too much on whether you like him more than he likes you, it can consume you and actually end up ruining what you have.
You’ll become paranoid, you’ll overthink, you won’t be able to totally be yourself. And will that then develop his feelings further? Well, no, probably not.
In fact, if anything – you’re likely to end up pushing him away. So what do you do?
What To Do If You Like Him More Than He Likes You
So what do you do if you like him more than he likes you? Or – should I say – you THINK you like him more than we likes you. Well:
1) Look At The Bigger Picture
First up, take a step back, get this idea out your head and really start to challenge it.
- What things indicate that he does like you?
- What commitment has he shown towards you?
- How does he make you feel loved and wanted?
- What things has he done for you that meant a lot?
- What special moments have you shared?
- Does he tell you he likes you? What has he said?
- What do you feel? Inside, hand on heart? How do you know he likes you?
Think about the big things, the little things and stop looking at what you’d do, or how you’d act. You are not him! Know this guy, know what he’s like and know how he’s been showing you he likes you.
It’s not about settling or kidding yourself. It’s just about better getting your head around things if you are happy and you simply want to destroy the feeling of imbalance.
What If You Really Do Like Him More Than He Likes You?
If you do this exercise and think, “Yikes, I actually am right! I really do like him more than he likes me – this guys done NOTHING!” then assess the relationship as a whole and it could well be that he’s just not the right one for you! Here’s some useful articles to support you with this:
- Is He The One?
- How Do You Know If He Likes You?
- Is He Falling In Love With You?
- 10 Signs He’s Wasting Your Time
- 10 Signs The Relationships One Sided
You’ll also notice things like:
- He doesn’t make much effort. (Or as much as he used to.)
- He doesn’t listen / care about how you feel.
- It’s always you initiating everything. (Including affection!)
- Everything is on his terms. There’s no compromise.
- He doesn’t really treat you right. He’s flakey or inconsistent.
- You feel like you constantly have to keep HIM happy.
These are some of the signs you like him more than he likes you – but they mean nothing on their own. They have to be compiled together for you to make any strong judgement.
2) Stop Comparing
So, assuming you didn’t have to reassess the relationship and you know that the guy really does like you, you then need to stop comparing.
And yes, I know, it’s easier said than done. But does that mean it’s not possible? Absolutely not. It just takes some commitment.
So decide now – like your happiness depends on it – that you’re going to free yourself from this “I like him more than he likes me” obsession. Decide now to smash those thoughts out your head every time they come to mind.
Reprogram your mind – because it’s probably fear taking over, especially if you’ve trained yourself to believe every time you’re interested in someone, they can’t possibly be interested as much in you!
He likes you. Maybe loves you. (Depending on your situation.) See that, feel that, appreciate that and focus on that instead of sucking away your own joy.
If you’re not in a fulfilling relationship, that’s a different story, but if what you have is pretty great – choose to remember that.
3) Know Your Worth
Knowing your worth is relevant on both sides of the “I like him more than he likes me” situation.
If it’s true, and you’re not getting the love you want from this relationship:
Recognise that. Don’t settle. Don’t settle for having to question this, don’t settle for feeling less than the truly remarkable human that you are and don’t live with this uneasy feeling.
Know your worth enough to know that there is someone out there who will love you fully and completely for you. Then be brave and walk away if you need to.
Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t value and appreciate you the way that you deserve.
If it’s not true and you think you like him more than he likes you, but this is being led by insecurity:
Recognise that too! Work on building yourself up. Put the time in, honestly. Start now. In fact, here’s some recommended reads:
Putting yourself through this, doubting yourself – it’s not needed. He likes you, loves you, thinks you’re frickin’ awesome (which you are!) It’s not too good to be true, trust me.
So instead of dwelling on how you feel, recognise what you’re doing and get committed to creating the change you want and need in the way you see yourself and the way you think others see you.
You’re strong enough, smart enough, beautiful enough… more than enough. You are so worthy of love – and the kind of love that you want and deserve. So don’t doubt that. Believe it!
That’s All For This One
So there we have it! What to do if you like him more than he likes you… well, you think you do!
Remember, take a step back, see things for how they really are and always remember your worth.
This guy? He’d be MAD not to be crazy about you. Trust me!